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Would you go where homosexuality is illegal?

Yes, I'll risk it just like those who live there

Yes, I just won't expect a holiday romance!

Not likely, those places aren't at the top of my list

No, it's just not worth the risk

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'Growing Pains'

You know, I'm not really the poem reading type, but there's just something about this one. If you only read one poem in your life, read this. It's used with the permission of the author, Roger Taber. This is just one of the works produced by the gay writer:

It was after Maths and I had forgotten
a text book so you came back with me
to help me look, just minutes to spare
before Chemistry. Suddenly, you
were holding me and your mouth
missed mine only because I panicked
and ran, shoving you aside. I remember
how you cried out, all that fear
and pain and love banging in my head
like passionate drums. But there was
no passion in me, only feelings run riot
and I don't know how I got through
the next weeks, avoiding you at every turn,
demanding of my anguished Youth
other energies to burn, sought
in next-door Mary other lessons to learn
and learned them well, hurled
into a hell of isolation, playing at
boyfriend, bike mate, regular son,
unable to relate to anyone, riding pillion
on conversation in perfect rhythm
without much sense until, smashed and weary
I let peel off all pretence, layer by layer
sprawled on my bed, hypnotised by a dippy
moth - making frantic wing overhead
I caught up with you after school one day,
felt foolish fumbling for things to say,
confided a pain with Geometry;
You would not even look at me...
At your house you turned the key
just as I found words to chance me
and you gave the door a might kick,
blinking back tears that prick me
even now, years on (no idea where
he's gone) and I cherish still
our first nakedness, thrill
to a freedom brought to bear
in ritual ending of our fear

Growing Pains © R. N. Taber

Pretty cool don't you think? In fact, the author, Roger Taber, has received much feedback from Growing Pains, especially since it's re-publication in the Community of Poets (Canterbury) poetry magazine.

'Homophobia'

Homophobia.gif. Author unknown. Modified for QA.

'The Call'

This peice is by a highly creative (and otherwise completely brilliant) gay guy from Johannesburg. Taken from his site 'Love's Wasted Effort' and used with permission, Graham: Speaking Out presents 'The Call' by Dirk Jonker:

I smile.
It feels like I have been waiting for your call
for days
I can hear you laughing softly as you speak.
We are Happy.
An hour could go by and each of us sits
mouth to ear
smiling as we hold each other in our hearts.
It was never like this.
shit. It's time to go. No,
just another word,
a story,
tell me about your day,
I love the way your voice laughs when we speak
it makes me glad.
I don't care if the whole world guesses
I love you.
No caresses, nothing to touch,
But your voice fills me up.
Good-bye. Goodnight.
An unspoken I love you.
A smile as we put down the phone and go on.
someone loves me.
Maybe he can't say it yet, but I know he feels it.

The Call © Dirk Jonker

Queer Quotes (in conversation with...)

The following quotes are taken from emails sent to me by a good friend. I think they're good reflections on life, even if you can't relate to the situations.

"In my head I have done the whole "I was abused and it wasn't my fault" bit and the "maybe I enjoyed it on some level" bit and the "I hate the world for making me what I am" bit and now I am somewhere around the "where do I find love?" bit. Maybe I am learning. I think that is what life is about. Learning."
"I wonder if straight people can ever realise how difficult it can be. I am afraid to come out because kids at school used to hate me, or shun me, of make fun of me all because there was a rumor that I was gay. One guy even used to try to pick fights with me. I don't think I could handle that kind of reaction from my family."
"I must sound like a complete sad-o. I have thought of myself as a loser before, nothing new there, but self pity is so unappealing isn't it. I have found it to be a complete waste of time. Some times I am wise and some times I am a complete idiot. I suppose I'm just normal. What a depressing thought. We all really want to be special. Interesting. Important."

Other quotes from conversation, used with permission.

"Well it's not actually the fact that I'm gay that is causing this inconvenience, it's peoples opinions of anything other than heterosexuality." - Anon
"Say what you want and say it now." "This is the time for stepping out." - Sent in by Luke Harman.

I think these are good words on the subject of sex from Paul Adie:

"Sex. What's it all about? Sometimes I feel there's no point in it at all. All it is is an orgasm. Nothing special. Nothing loving, caring, sensitive.
"Love. Now there's something. Major. It annoys me to see so many guys led by thier dicks and not their feelings, if indeed they have any. Just a number. Just a number. Pointless. Worthless.
"Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, but your site trudged up feelings. I guess i'm jealous of guys who have things all worked out."

Vic's Poem

A gay teen named 'Vic' sent me this powerful emoti-text - just one of his writings. Maybe we'll see some more work from this guy up here sometime...

"I wrote this to my best friend who is not gay...but is a brother to me...helps me out in ways unimaginable."

Well I didn't know how to really love
My heart just confused me and made a mess of
My mind did the thinking, my spirit stayed lost
Well I didn't know how to really love, just lust.
Well I didn't know where to turn and run
Who's shoulder to cry on, who's ears I could
Flood with my thoughts and burden with problems
A friend is who I sought, and a brother was found.
And I know what could be done
And I know how to escape
I know where to run and how I can fake
My life can be taken but this I am sure
My brother knows I love him, and this love is pure.
I know why I shouldn't
I know why I should
But when is the question, and time can't be found
I'm lonely again, and forever more lost.
Who's here to turn to? Who's around to listen?
Who's shoulder to cry on, who's arms comfort
In a hug that says more than words but a whisper I hear
"It's all right, your brother is here."

Untitled © Vic