Too Out

So I was sitting watching Dawson's Creek, I know, I know, but I've liked it for years - before it got 'old' and tedious and before it got the stage where you just want to give some of the characters a good slap. Anyway, it was 'the one with' the Senior Prom, where Jack gets it together with Toby (I think, can't quite remember his name). There was one line that struck me, where Jack admits that he didn't like Toby at first because he was "Too together" and "Too out." I donno why, it just stuck out.

But maybe I do know why. I understood it, it made a lot of sense - because I've been perceived as the 'Toby' before. Not in the same context though, I mean I've never been told this by a soon-to-be boyfriend or anything, (wish I had), but by a friend. She had the attitude that I was always so sorted and in control, and she wasn't the first, but I think even the ones who seem together and collected, may not necessarily feel that they are.

And I think, now, that in High School at least, there is such a thing as being "Too out." Judging by my experience alone, from a boyfriend-aquiring perspective, it's never gonna happen if you're too out, as crazy as it seems. Even by being out, you'll alienate yourself from a lot of guys, and even potentials, because the chances are the last thing they want is to be seen socialising with the gay boy. Of course, this doesn't apply to guy friends, if they're friends at all, but you'll have heard that one before.

On the other hand, if I was to go back to when I was 16, seems a very long time ago, I'm not sure I would've done things any differently. I mean, there's this guy, who I've known for many years, and he's always been there, and we've done more than most friends would do, however he's always been a friend, and no more. So I do regret not having a boyfriend, but who's to say it would've been different any other way? The chances are, whether you're Too In, Too Out, or are surrounded by a state of subtle ambiguity, you're likelihood of getting a bf are probably equal.

Becuase you never know who you're gonna meet, or where, or how. And you never know what an impact one person could have on your life. And despite them both being ficitional, good luck to Jack & Toby :-)

'Ironic' by Alanis Morissette