The Standard Stuff

You'll usually get a barrage of questions after telling someone you're gay/bi/lesbian. But that's cool - it's good if they're interested. So if you wanna hear my answers, then read on.

Short answer: just like you know you're straight!

This is different for absolutely everyone. However, I knew I was gay because when I hit puberty I started fancying guys, much in the same way a straight guy 'knew he was straight' when he started fancying girls... not that he would've given it much thought!It's pretty normal though to not actually know whether you're gay, bi, straight or whatever. Everyone just has to figure it out in their own time.

Short answer: 12ish

Well I've never liked sports and I mostly got on better with girls. I was always aware of that, even from around 6 or 7, but I didn't necessarily understand it. I suppose it all came together when I was about 12, and I realised that I fancied guys, ie gay.

Short answer: No

No. Although I did go out with a girl in Primary 5. Don't think that counts though. It's not unusual, by the way, for gay guys to have fancied girls in their past.

Short answer: Excuse me?

No-one makes this decision. As said by Bill Clayton: "This is not my choice. This is not forced upon me. This just is."

Short answer: I couldn't pretend.

I suppose I felt like it was something I just had to do - as if I'd explode if I didn't. I just didn't want to hide it and make out I was straight. Especially not to my best friends. So I didn't. It was scary, and took me months to build up the courage - but I knew, deep down at least, that they'd take it OK. See ' Thoughts... Aged 16' for more info.

Short answer: Umm... No! Gross!

"I wish I was normal" basically means "I want to be straight, because the majority are straight." But why?? The most spoken language is Chinese, but I'm sure you're quite happy speaking English. OK, bad example! But my point is that you can't be 'normal' (or abnormal), because normality doesn't really exist - you can't be standard in every way, or with the majority in every instance. If you were, you'd officially be the most boring person alive.

If you're still thinking that you're 'different', then imagine you're on Canal Street in Manchester, or even Stirling Uni (hehe), where everyone is gay until proven straight! [ Well OK, Stirling Uni isn't quite that queer, but it's getting there! I think I picked the right place to come to... by the time I'm in 4th year we'll be running the place!! :-) ] [ 2002/3 Update: 'We' are running the place, the SUSA (Stirling University Students Association) President is gay, and so are half the SUSA Executives! ]

There's actually an imbedded contradiction there, because 'queer' did originally mean 'strange' or 'different', but we've taken the word onboard and now we use it ourselves - so that's OK. We're proud to be strange! I suppose, however, the word has kinda lost it's original meaning because we don't see ourselves as 'different' anymore - and being gay or queer has just become another characteristic.

Fact: Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. I mean, guys, you will never understand girls, and girls, you really don't want to understand us guys. So there's a strange sense of logic behind same sex couples. They understand each other better, and know how to please each other better. And you don't need to worry about getting pregnant! [ There's an obvious downside to that if you want children - but Adoption is a possibility.] And stereotypically us gay people have fantastic careers and impeccible dress sense!! But if you could see my wardrobe I'd soon blow that myth away... :-)

So..., So Graham Norton. No, so yeah, what the hell am I saying?? Straight people should really be wishing they were gay. In fact, some of them probably are...