Topic: Relationship-ish Advice

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Josh

:: sine
:: QA7 Taking responsibility

Hey guys! I havenâ€™t been around in awhile, and I swore I'd never do one of these, but here it is. I suppose I'll start from the beginning...

I got out of my last relationship in March. It didn't end particularly well, and the whole thing hurt for awhile.

During the summer I was talking with 3 guys: one whom I had a crush on since February and whom I went to school with (we'll call him Hampton), and two others whoâ€™re out of the picture for assorted reasons.

I've been talking to Hampton since February. In May-ish, I tried to show I was interested. He seemed interested in me, too, but then we were apart for the summer. I still messaged him a lot during the summer, but when we started school back, it seemed like he had lost interest.

We've had some fairly deep conversations and we've hung out some this semester, but I never really told him I liked him. Heâ€™s dated something to the effect of four guys in the last three months. Hampton somehow went from being single last week to dating someone this week, but he's got at least two other guys that he's interested in at the moment.

I want to tell him how I feel about him, but I don't want to seem like I'm trying to get between him and whoever he's seeing. I've been debating telling him for the last few weeks, but I don't really know if that's a good idea.

Thatâ€™s my guy-situation. Iâ€™m also busy with school. I was silly and bit off more than I can chew, but I have it under control now and am ready to deal with dating again. Iâ€™m tired of being alone, and want a relationship.

On top of that, Iâ€™m dealing with coming out. After all of my friends thought of me as the quiet straight guy (who never seems to be dating girls) for a year, itâ€™s hard for them to accept that Iâ€™m something else. I find it funny that my gay friends are the worst with this, but whatever. It's a gradual process, and I"m working on it.

On top of all of this, I'm trying to decide how to deal with Hampton. I'd like to talk to him about it, but donâ€™t want to mess things up with him. I also donâ€™t want to seem like Iâ€™m trying to get between him and some other guy.

I'll never know if I don't try, but there's a limited number of positive outcomes that I see.

What do you guys think?

The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

Post: #104159

, Tue 16 Oct 07, 3:56AM

jombag16

:: jombag16
:: QA1 Just in

josh,

about Hampton- sort out your emotions from your mind 1st. i mean think well of what you'll say 'coz you don't want to regret saying that just 'slipped' from your mouth. and be prepared for his answer too. doesn't mean you like him, he likes you the same way too. i mean some people are naturally sweet so it might be normal for them to show affection towards others but for others it might mean something else. never get into a relationship for the wrong reasons bec. in the end, you'll lose out.
start out as good friends so that you'll know when to take things to another level. and tell him that you respect him that you'll never be in between him and other guys that he sees (make sure you keep your word).

about coming out, say it to someone you trust- a close friend who understands you, or to a counselor who is not related to you. that way no judgment will be passed on you. besides, who are they to judge when everyone had a share of mistakes?! if its a big issue to whom you've said that you're gay, its their problem, not yours. the greatest gift you can give to yourself- is just being yourself, bec. that people can't control or steal that from you.

hope i helped- let me know if you need anything

jombag16-notts
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Post: #104181

, Tue 16 Oct 07, 10:35AM

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