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Topic: College?!?!

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:: Matt002
:: QA1 Just in
QA Member's Avatar
OK so here the problem:

At the moment i am at school but leave for collage next year.

at the moment most people at school know im gay and are ok with it.
but next year starting a new collage with Brand Spanking new people i don't know what 2 do.

i don't what 2 spend 3 years on my own with no friends

do i tell then Str8 out ????
or try to hide it??????

What shall i do???

All the Best
Matt ^_^
Love and Peace 2 All
  Post: #84360 Link to this post, Fri 25 May 07, 6:26PM
:: Cloaked
:: QA10 Community God
QA Member's Avatar
Well I'm entering college this fall and simply plan to be open about it from the start. I don't want to develop friends who are going to later have a problem with it.

Whoever my roommate is, I'm going to get it over with and tell them day 1.
The mere impulse of appetite is slavery, while obedience to the law we prescribe to ourselves is liberty. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
  Post: #84362 Link to this post, Fri 25 May 07, 6:43PM
:: thisway
:: QA Staff (Administrator)
QA Member's Avatar
People at British universities tend to be very open, and you're most likely to find 40 allies and protectors for every 1 homophobe.

That said, it's a bit strange when you meet someone who feels the need to say, "Hi, I'm a homosexual," when you first meet them. Don't tell people per se, just be open to letting it come up in conversation if it's relevant. Although, again ... heh ... if you have got quite a way in to a new friendship and it hasn't come up, that might be when you want to consider "telling" someone ... otherwise it could then come up and be a disaster.

Oh, and you'll also find that within about twenty seconds of being at university, you'll have Facebook and everyone you know will be networking with it ... the "interested in" section is a very subtle way to let people make themselves aware.
  Post: #84364 Link to this post, Fri 25 May 07, 7:00PM
:: Cloaked
:: QA10 Community God
QA Member's Avatar
Yeah, I don't plan on going up to people and telling them, "Hey, I'm Brett. Did I mention I'm gay?" But if the topic comes up about relationships, sexuality, etc. I'll just speak about it openly.
The mere impulse of appetite is slavery, while obedience to the law we prescribe to ourselves is liberty. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
  Post: #84375 Link to this post, Fri 25 May 07, 9:23PM
:: Colleen
:: QA10 Community Goddess
QA Member's Avatar
I agree with Brett. Honestly, college is a fantastic opportunity to start anew and just be yourself from the very start. Definitely don't introduce yourself with your sexuality, but don't feel a need to hide it, either. Facebook can definitely be used to your advantage, and you can always make the occasional "He's hot" statement. That pretty much tells them right away. Emoticon: Smile :) Colleges are often more liberal and less cruel than high school, and a lot more people will be likely to be okay with it. Even those who aren't will probably not torment you about it as some in high school would have, especially if you go to a big school. If you wind up at a huge state school with 15,000+ students, basically no one will care. Emoticon: Smile :)

And the one exception I'd make about not introducing yourself by saying, "Hi, I'm gay," is to tell your roommate straight away. If they're not okay with it, it will make the year hell for you, and you'll have an easier time getting a room switch early on. Hopefully they won't care, but if they do, you can get out and find a roommate who's cool about it.

This is what I plan to do this fall anyway. Good luck with it! Emoticon: Smile :)
"Oppression, I won't let you near me
Oppression, you shall learn to fear me
Yes you will."
-Ben Harper, "Oppression"
  Post: #84379 Link to this post, Fri 25 May 07, 9:41PM
:: AQuestion
:: QA10 Community Goddess
QA Member's Avatar
Yeah, the topic should actually come up fairly early. A common question people ask when they are trying to get to know a person is if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend (girlfriend in you case) and you could simply say that you're gay, and so you don't have a girlfriend.
Dyke tested, fag approved
  Post: #84380 Link to this post, Fri 25 May 07, 9:47PM
:: sine
:: QA7 Taking responsibility
Don't worry about it. Basically, if it comes up, tell if you want. Be honest when it comes up. If someone in your circle of friends at college finds out, they'll let everyone else know, trust me. Emoticon: Tongue :p One guy came out and within a day, the girls in the group made sure everyone knew. *shrugs*

My university is more liberal than my hometown, so I'm happy. Emoticon: Grin :D I'm not out, but it'd be easier to come out here than at home.
The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
  Post: #84407 Link to this post, Sat 26 May 07, 2:55AM
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