Just need to talk?
UK: Childline on
0800 1111
US: Trevor Project on
866 488 7386
|
Topic: When did you know?
Posts
 |
 |
:: sine
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
I knew before I knew, if that makes sense. XD Growing up in a nice Southern Baptist community, I guess they had their first "gays are evil" talk around sixth grade. People talked about guys with guys like it was a bad thing and I honestly couldn't see what was wrong. I didn't see myself as one of those "evil" people, but I didn't see what was so wrong with it.
Later on, I sort of started getting the feelings for guys which, it sounds like a lot of guys here did, I tried to ignore. I even had a couple of girlfriends. They always thought something was wrong with me because I didn't want to kiss and didn't try to jump on top of them and hump them into submission. 0.o
Eventually, I ran across some non-pornographic homoerotic material by accident (I swear!) and it was like "Wow, that's hot!" Then I guess something sort of clicked and the sparks went off and that was the end of it. Then I pushed myself deeper in the closet and tried to be straight again, which of course didn't work. Then I tried to just not have feelings at all, which didn't work. Then I gave up and accepted it, which was a nice burden lifted.
Now I'm in the process of trying to figure out when and how I want to come out. I guess that started about a year ago, but I wasn't really serious about it, then. Now there's like this feeling and it's trying to explode out whether I want it or not. It's odd, but I guess that's how accepting myself started, too. *shrugs*
The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
|
|
Post: #84002  , Wed 23 May 07, 5:06PM |
|
|
:: Allie
:: QA2 Settling in | |
...well, heh, let's see. Where do I start?
Now that I've finally gotten around to accepting I'm bi/lesbian, looking back, it was pretty damn obvious. When I was younger, from 8 to 12 years old, I would have sudden, random 'attractions' to different people. This didn't happen very much, but often enough that I can remember it. And yes, some of said people were girls. The only problem with this is that I live in a little town in the heart of the Bible Belt: Mississippi. Needless to say, most of my relatives here are straight, rigidly conservative, and (you guessed it!) homophobic. In fact, for the majority of my childhood, I can remember people basically saying that gays are evil, perverted ambominations of god that will burn in the fiery pits of Hades along with all the atheists, devil worshippers and Democrats  ..or something like that anyways...
Anywho, as soon as I began to suspect what my feelings meant, I vigorously suppressed them, telling my 'confused' little self that gay=bad(which has probably caused me all kinds of mental problems. can't you tell?) And that is how it has was, at least until these past couple of years, particularly last year, when I finally came to terms with myself about my orientation. Huzzah.
~Breath into my hands or cup them like a glass to drink from; Are you still, still breathing? Are you still, breathing?~
|
|
Post: #84222 , Thu 24 May 07, 11:29PM |
|
|
I'm not sure. I think I'll start at the beginning (aka kindergarten).
I met my first friend there. In preschool I didn't really play with any kid specifically...but in kindergarten I met the girl who's still my best friend. Later, we kept making other friends and branching out until we'd built up this little group. Around junior high pretty much all of them came out as bi or started questioning their sexuality. I hadn't considered it until I looked at my best friend and realized I really wanted to kiss her. I don't today, but it freaked me out a little and I became unsure of myself for the first time.
When we got to high school I met a sophomore girl...and I realized I had a HUGE crush. I still do. And that's the story of how I realized I wasn't straight. 
About the fact that almost all my friends are bi...it's weird, but maybe even back in kindergarten our little 5-year-old minds knew we'd grow up to be different from all our other classmates? Now there's something to think about...
<3
|
|
Edit: tigerlily_love, Fri 25 May 07, 12:09AM
Post: #84232 , Fri 25 May 07, 12:07AM |
|
|
:: enorodod
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
well, i have never gotten into girls and i have always had moments when i though "whiah, he's hot!" but i imagined that that was a normal thing for people to think of others of the same sex untill now. I'M GAY, AND I LOVE IT!!
|
|
Post: #84272 , Fri 25 May 07, 2:57AM |
|
|
:: azazel
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
I was like straight before. 
Until I reached my teenage years. 
I feel weird thinking about it.
Is there a way where I can live forever and not look old?
|
|
Post: #84274 , Fri 25 May 07, 3:07AM |
|
|
:: Cait
:: QA3 Getting cosy | |
Hmm.. well i remember once in 8th grade my (now ex-friend) came into school crying becasue she was "raped" and now was a "hooker at a strip joint"
i now know she was totally and udderly LYING >_> but.. she was 16, i was 14... one night i was filling out a "100 questions about you" thing and one question was "have you ever had sex?" i said to her "Lmao this question is funny.. sex.. lol.. that sso weird"
she said "well i had sex with so and so.. etc" and i was shocked..
so i figured.. well im just.. not there yet.. till i read an article on msn about AVEN (asexuality.org) and now i am asexual and proud XP
~Cait >:3~ ^^
|
|
Post: #84326 , Fri 25 May 07, 11:58AM |
|
|
well I knew in 2nd grade when I had a crush on my best friend......but I didn't realize wat that meant for me so I didn't think about it. It was 6th grade that I actually started to think about it...but I was afraid of it so I only came out as bi so that way I felt I was still semi-normal but after 5 years of that I just accepted it & told everybody I'm lesbian & I've been out for over a year now!!
|
|
Post: #84369 , Fri 25 May 07, 7:27PM |
|
|
:: Latai
:: QA2 Settling in | |
I have denied it most of my life.
I had my first experience with a girl when I was 7 and I got in trouble for it. I was pretty anti-lesbian until I was about 15 and a girl friend of mine stole some alcohol and we got drunk together and one thing lead to another and I was forced to adress the issue of my sexuality.
Still at that point I only identified as bisexual. It wasn't until about a year ago that I became comfortable enough with myself to admit that I am gay.
It all seems pretty obvious to me now though. =p
|
|
Post: #84481 , Sat 26 May 07, 5:11PM |
|
|
beginning of grade 8 me and my best freind ended up shirtless(from 'modeling aka taking pics) and umm..did a little experimenting. both liked it, decided to do it again. i decided i was bi, so did she. now i dont know if i even like guys, but i am out as queer to my mom, dad, and best freinds.
i also never went through a pesky denial stage lol
much love, aasha
.:NO REGRETS:.
we.are.all.in.this.together. PERIOD.
|
|
Post: #84528 , Sat 26 May 07, 10:20PM |
|
|
I never get it when people say they've known since they were like, five. I was totally not a sexual being at that age! I can trace the signs back to middle school, but seriously started considering my sexuality around 9th grade. I guess all the obsessions with female celebrities and rock stars made me wonder what it would be like to try thinking about girls in "that way". And when I did, man, I realized I had been settling for second best!
|
|
Post: #84902 , Tue 29 May 07, 7:31AM |
|
|
:: pomodoro
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I can honestly remember being 4 years old and saying to my mum "I didn't know we could marry girls! Thank goodness, I'll do that!".
But I guess I always knew that I was... different. I know everyone says that. But I was never interested, when my friends started noticing boys and thinking male celebrities were "hot". I never got it. I kind of nodded along. The thought crossed my mind that I might be gay when I was 9, but I refused to accept it. It wouldn't go away though. I tried to force myself to be into boys. It didn't happen. I knew for sure when I was about 11. I didn't accept it until I was 14-ish.
End soliloquy!
- Do you think those people over there could be - gay?
- What, the man & woman with two kids?
|
|
Post: #84928 , Tue 29 May 07, 12:47PM |
|
|
|
i figured out that i was a lesbian when i was only 5, but i denied myself until 2 years ago. i'm 18.
jennifer lea
|
|
Post: #84955 , Tue 29 May 07, 6:13PM |
|
|
|
I found out when I was around six by kissing another boy, later on... when i was around 10 I tried kissing girls but it wasn't the same.
Searching for..
I don't know anymore
|
|
Post: #84982 , Wed 30 May 07, 12:04AM |
|
|
|
the more i think about the more i cant decide. i always had a leaning towards being gay, if that makes sense but the first time i told myself "im gay" is somthing i cant put my finger on.
Не пойдите где курс может вести; пойдите вместо где не будет курса и оставьте тропка
|
|
Post: #85307 , Fri 1 Jun 07, 4:36PM |
|
|
Now that I look back on it, I suppose I've known since I was about 7. I was at a birthday party at the YMCA, and well, when all the boys went into the locker rooms to change... yeah...
I tried to not be gay until I was about 11-12, since then I've just tried to hide it.
Sincerely,
|
|
Post: #85319 , Fri 1 Jun 07, 6:38PM |
|
|
|
Hmmm..well i can't really say for sure..i really didn't actually come straight with myself and start telling myself i was gay until about 3-4 years ago..but i think deep down i knew i was different since i was young
When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always.
-Mahatma Gandhi
|
|
Post: #85398 , Sat 2 Jun 07, 5:05AM |
|
|
:: pckid
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
Well I was unsure around end of 11 and part of 12, and finally made up my mind about, umm, more than 6 months ago, I'm 13 now!
Nail varnish tastes like glitter glue :D
|
|
Post: #85430 , Sat 2 Jun 07, 9:03PM |
|
|
|
I knew I liked girls from the time I was little. I just recently figured out that I'm a lesbian though. So, about a three weeks ago, I guess.
In loving memory of James Charles Fulcher. 11/3/88-7/28/07 and John Patrick Hollesen 5/16/90-11/25/07.
|
|
Post: #86886 , Sun 17 Jun 07, 9:11PM |
|
|
ummm thinking about it i only realized that i was gay about a year or 2, before that i was just clueless about it getting on with my life, i remember when my friends asked me weather there were any girls i fancied i said no, just didnt and doesnt attract me in that way.
Anyway when i knew i was gay it was only about half a year later when i told my close friends which went well, same thing in a months time with some not so close friends but of course theres always one who told others and it went really fast and the whole year knew, good job i coped with it, now everyone seems fine with it XD.
anyway thats my story or should i say mumbling
you know friends are like jewels they are really special, they shine when you feel like you are in the dark, although like jewels they are rare to find so keep em to your hearts!!!!
|
|
Edit: applet, Tue 19 Jun 07, 3:25AM
Post: #87013 , Tue 19 Jun 07, 3:25AM |
|
|
Hmm, this is an interesting question. I know the exact day it hit me, but apparently it was obvious to one friend from the day she met me.
A few years ago, I met a friend (L) on a site I'm still part of today. Within the first couple days of meeting me, she told me she was bisexual and asked if I was as she thought I was. I at the time told her no as at that time I hadn't really been seeing anyone in a sexual way (I'm a late bloomer attraction to people wise.)
Then last June, a few friends of mine and I were out laying around in a park, all cozied up in blankets. One of my friends left and his girlfriend cuddled up next to me as it was cold that day. For some reason (I think we decided to make her boyfriend jealous) she ended up sprawled on top of me and we covered up and just laid like that cuddling, until her boyfriend came back, then we started joking about her deciding she was a lesbian and leaving him for me. (For some reason now, the on going joke with most of my friends is there girlfriends come and cuddle with me and I end up "stealing their girlfriends" until they come pick them up off me.) It was at that point that I realized I was definitely wishing and could see this in my mind happening. I could see myself kissing her, and going out with her. I thought nothing of it really other than a quiet acceptance.
A couple weeks later, a friend from the site mentioned earlier (not the same friend though) was talking about how she knew she was bisexual, and I mentioned I was and we discussed what had provoked us into realizing it, and that's when it started to set in that yes, I was bisexual. Luckily, the site I keep mentioning contains quite a few bisexuals (I think this is more of a place to be accepted, no one really says anything) and they helped me become a bit more okay with the realization I might be bisexual.
The time I fully accepted it, was falling for one of my girl friends. I've had a boyfriend, I've been in love with a boy. So, I realized firmly that I was bisexual. Needless to say, when I told my friend L, she bragged how she had me pegged the whole time.
I haven't told many people now, and only three people I actually see in real life, not online life, and I doubt I'll ever tell my family.
[/novel]
I'm back after nearly three years of being gone!
|
|
Post: #87054 , Tue 19 Jun 07, 8:19AM |
|
|
 |
 |
LIKE THIS PAGE
|
Who's Online
Last 15 mins: 22 guests, 6 members: BeachBoy101, Sheer_Anime, charles5611, james123456, Jaylin, starkid21 QA Ethos
Above all else, QA should be a friendly community. Contact us when our Terms are broken.
Events and promos
Check out
The Official QA Blog
|
Three's A Crowd... or is it?
Oh no, I procrastinated again! (Rant Warning)
Lily Helena Knight
Things that grow
Just so.
My new life
Trip to the zoo!
![Cancelled by user is away, indefinitely [Avatar]](images/?img=avatars/1415wee.jpg?i=0){kind=small}
