Just need to talk?
UK: Childline on
0800 1111
US: Trevor Project on
866 488 7386
|
Topic: When guys start hitting on you...
Posts
 |
 |
...only AFTER they find out you're lesbian.
Seriously, WTF? In the last year, telling a guy who's hitting on me that I'm lesbian, aka sorry but not interested, I've had one guy stalk me, another try to proposition me and my friend who's bi for a threesome... you get the idea. 
I get that guys think two girls together = hot, but lesbian is not the new bi. I'm not interested in guys, period. Now I don't what to do when guys start hitting on me (except to act polite but disinterested) because telling them WHY I'm not interested makes it worse.
I even read in Cosmo or somewhere that one of the ways to get a guy is to play hard to get....by telling them you're lesbian. Extra points if you pretend a female friend is your girlfriend. I was so mad I saw red.
Opinions or similar experiences, anyone?
I know exactly who I am and who I want to be
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine
I'm now becoming my own self fulfilled prophecy,
Oh, oh no, oh no!
~Marina and the Diamonds
|
|
Post: #680981  , Sat 22 Sep 12, 7:02AM |
|
|
Yeah, it really, really irks me. Especially if the guy is completely aware of it, and yet, still goes out of his way to flirt with you, or just flat-out ask you to go out with him.
It's really irritating and time-consuming to have to deal with this, especially if you see the guy on a daily basis.
I had a friend (emphasis on had) who would try to get me alone, sit with me, ask me out all the time, and at the same time, try to invalidate my identity as a queer woman by saying, "But if you haven't tried it, how will you know?"
At the time, I was reluctant to burn bridges with regards to the friendship, because he was going through a tough time, and he'd always talk to me about what he was going through.
Still, I couldn't take very much of him trying to invalidate who I am, and my best friend stood by me when I spoke to him and said that we couldn't be friends anymore, because invalidating my identity and assuming that I could "turn straight" for him was really disrespectful.
I'm sorry, but no. Just, no. Ugh.
That being said, I've met a fair number of guys who are super respectful about it, and we've been able to maintain a total bromance, if you can call it that.
Perhaps they might not be the most politically-correct bunch, but they're very respectful of my identity as a queer woman, and they're a great bunch of guys, so from my experiences, the rotten ones are few and far between. 
"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."
|
|
Post: #680995 , Sat 22 Sep 12, 11:20AM |
|
|
Urgh! I know what you mean! This is the most irritating thing in the world. I once had a guy ask me to marry him once I told him I was a lesbian. He was begging me to marry him so I wouldn't be throwing my life away. He was from some Middle Eastern country though (I forget where) so I blame that on the cultural difference. But even Canadian-born-and-raised guys I talk to will try to get in my pants once I tell them I'm a lesbian. It's like they think it's a game or something. Or they think they'll be the guy to turn you straight. Ridiculous.
That being said, I've also met a lot of guys who were great about it. They often act a little weird, saying stuff like "That's good." or "Oh. Congratulations." But they mean well. Just probably don't know what to say. They also ask a lot of questions which I love because that means there's one less ignorant person in the world.
But some of them are just awful.
|
|
Edit: SamIAm2, Sat 22 Sep 12, 2:05PM
Post: #681007 , Sat 22 Sep 12, 2:03PM |
|
|
I'm really glad I'm not the only one. I find it extremely awkward and just plain rude on the guy's part. My sexuality doesn't make me want to be a guy's sex toy, thankyouverymuch. And people wonder why I don't like guys.
But I guess gay guys probably have to deal with this from girls too, so we're not the only ones. I have literally no sympathy for girls who whine about how their crush is gay but they still love him and want to be with him etc etc... No offense to anyone who's gone through that, but feelings are just feelings. Get over it.
(I should also add that I do have a few guy friends who don't care about my sexuality and have never been awkward about it, but those are few and far between.)
I know exactly who I am and who I want to be
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine
I'm now becoming my own self fulfilled prophecy,
Oh, oh no, oh no!
~Marina and the Diamonds
|
|
Post: #681074 , Sat 22 Sep 12, 11:40PM |
|
|
Perhaps you need to strongly inform him that what he's doing is considered harassment. I'm not sure what eles to tell you, unless you go to the authorities.
|
|
Post: #681093 , Sun 23 Sep 12, 2:19AM |
|
|
I tell them to piss off 
To see us dance is to hear our hearts speak- Hopi Indian saying
|
|
Post: #681094 , Sun 23 Sep 12, 2:25AM |
|
|
I only have this problem when I choose to wear my girl clothes with guys I've never met
|
|
Post: #681100 , Sun 23 Sep 12, 2:40AM |
|
|
|
El: LOL. xD
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry. -Ernest Hemingway
|
|
Post: #681102 , Sun 23 Sep 12, 2:42AM |
|
|
@ Britany: I also add a smile tight smile when I say it. I have a very scary bitch side when I want to be that way  .
To see us dance is to hear our hearts speak- Hopi Indian saying
|
|
Post: #681107 , Sun 23 Sep 12, 2:55AM |
|
|
 |
 |
LIKE THIS PAGE
|
Who's Online
Last 15 mins: 18 guests, 5 members: james123456, shadowmarbles, James2367, Ceasedtoexist, nicthechick QA Ethos
Above all else, QA should be a friendly community. Contact us when our Terms are broken.
Events and promos
Check out
The Official QA Blog
|
Three's A Crowd... or is it?
Oh no, I procrastinated again! (Rant Warning)
Lily Helena Knight
Things that grow
Just so.
My new life
Trip to the zoo!
![Lizzie is dancing :). [Avatar]](images/?img=avatars/16504wee.jpg?i=1){kind=small}
![Angie Loves you :D, indefinitely [Avatar]](images/?img=avatars/15259wee.jpg?i=3){kind=small}
