Both of my sisters are off to college, the only ones ever around are my parents and my senile grandpa... And even though I appreciate their attempts to connect with me, I just wish there was someone around who could truly understand me.
It's really hard to get my points across to them. Sometimes I say things that make perfect sense to me, but they just don't understand what I mean. I want someone around, someone who would share my passions for things.
I can't find that with most people my age, everything comes so easy to them. They make friends, share relationships with each other, and manage to make really good grades at the same time. How do they do it? Why is it so easy for them to be so... social? Why don't they get nervous?
The only person that I could truly be at ease with was my sister, and now she's in North Carolina. The one who never thought of me as weird or strange. She kept on telling me that I would grow out of being so nervous about social situations, but I haven't. People sometimes don't even understand some of the things I say, and I'm afraid that I freak them out or something.
It makes me feel alienated from the rest of the world, as if there is some wall between me and my peers. They aren't rude to me or anything, I just can't get close to any of them. Is there anyone going through the same thing reading this?
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Post: #674941  , Tue 14 Aug 12, 10:21PM |
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I know how you feel. I have a lot of anxiety disorders, one of which is social anxiety. It's pretty hard, and yes, it can get lonely. It was worse when I was younger though. Just try to be more comfortable with yourself and it'll get better. 
Dixi.
Oi! Follow me on tumblr because I'm amazing: http://mynameisnotfreyja.tumblr.com/
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Post: #674944 , Tue 14 Aug 12, 10:51PM |
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:: Turquoise
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I'm feeling the same way. I have a hard time making close friends because I'm hesitant to let people actually know ME. Whenever I finally make a good friend, it seems great for a while and then they just move on or stop talking to me. I'm a rather high-maintenance friend and it completely crushes me when people stop talking to me.  I'm not jealous or want my friend to be my friend only, I just want someone who actually honestly cares about me and understands me and wants me to be happy and OK.
Also, I'm homeschooled and we moved to a small town a year ago... I have penpals and friends out of state but no local "best friends". I've been trying to go to an LGTBQ youth program but haven't been able to because both of our cars are broken. D:
T u r q u o i s e ~
l❤ve & pe☮ce & smiツes !
❝Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.❞-Margaret Mead.
❝Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.❞-Dr. Seuss.
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Post: #674947 , Tue 14 Aug 12, 11:17PM |
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@Turqoise
Wow, what you just described is exactly one of the things going on with me. If I get close with someone, it seems like we always grow apart, and I never want to be the first person to approach someone.
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Post: #674950 , Tue 14 Aug 12, 11:58PM |
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Whoa, mind=blown with how similar our situations are. Apart from the sisters going off to college, that really sucks i'm super sorry. But i totally get the alienated and nervous feelings. I feel it everday. There are a few (very few) best friends that i have that I feel almost completely at ease with, so i am very blessed to have them. But I have been in college for almost 2 years and i haven't made any really close friendships thus far. And actually I still as akward and socially distant from the rest as the day i started there. The only place i connect there is in the gay/straight alliance club (which i had to seperate myself from because there is a girl in there that i messed things up with when we tried to date). Anyways, sorry this was so long but you're definetly not alone.
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Post: #674968 , Wed 15 Aug 12, 2:11AM |
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I'm in the same boat as you. People scare me, I get nervous and awkward if I try to talk to people. I sort of...panic, I guess? when people I don't know ask me personal questions to get to know me, and sometimes I end up pushing those people away.
I don't understand how it comes so easy to other people either.
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Post: #674971 , Wed 15 Aug 12, 2:20AM |
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I definately can relate. Sometimes for me it feels like I'm the lonliest person in the crowded room. I think sometimes that if the only knew how I truly felt that if I could just get my point across then I could break down those barriers that make me so socially awkward.
But the thing is we keep waiting for a point that we could be comfortable enough to interact with other people but I don't think that moment will come on its own. We need to push our selves little by little, step out of that comfort zone and hope for the best.
Now I just need to practice what I preach.
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Post: #674977 , Wed 15 Aug 12, 2:56AM |
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I get horribly shy around people who are significantly older than me (2 years and up) and people who are significantly more intelligent than me. Sometimes I don't but most of the time I do and it's horrible. Or people who have a really amazing reputation. Anyone who seems untouchable I can't hardly utter a word to without totally cowering in fear.
That's why on QA I'm mostly friends with new members  . I do have a few older member friends but not a whole bunch. In real life I bond with very few people. Sure I can hold a conversation and get through a project with someone but I am very easily terrified of them. I remember the first like three or four weeks of a senior class I was taking (as a sophomore) I didn't talk to my tablemate at all. He was a football player and a senior and big and scary. Later on I realised he was funny and nice but only after I took some time to warm up to him.
Maybe you'll find someone you could warm up to and have a friendship with . Sometimes you have to be patient and step a bit out of you comfort zone to be able to get friendships. You can do it though .
To see us dance is to hear our hearts speak- Hopi Indian saying
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Post: #675436 , Fri 17 Aug 12, 1:54AM |
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Not much of a Blogger
That one life-long scar...
Three's A Crowd... or is it?
Lily Helena Knight
Things that grow
Just so.
My new life
Trip to the zoo!
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