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Topic: Are all humans inherently bisexual?
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This has been weighing on my mind for a long long time. Do you think everyone (including those that identify as exclusively gay or straight) are inherently bisexual? Like we all are capable of being attracted to/loving both sexes? (sorry to follow the binary so much but you get what I mean) I am wondering if those who identify as only liking one specific gender are subconsciously or consciously repressing their attractions for the other gender. Like I identify as lesbian, and I am not attested to males, but sometimes the act of not finding males attractive feels slightly forced. Like I'm consciously deciding to find them even LESS attractive than I already do. Like I'm making SURE I stuff away any possible feelings of male attraction just because I identify as lesbian. I won't even allow myself to look at a "handsome" guy and think "he's very attractive," I kind of make myself feel nothing.
What I'm asking is, do you think the sexual "extremes" (gay or straight) are merely products of social forces and perhaps SOME natural inclination towards one sex, and that we all are capable deep inside of loving/being attracted to both genders? (again, I wince at my seeming exclusion of trans people. You are all of course included! Maybe someone who is trans can include a perspective from there about this topic too?)
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."
http://www.soulforce.org/resou...-homosexuality/
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Post: #671300  , Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:27AM |
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Wow! What an interesting concept. I've wondered this before, especially when I was coming out and developing my identity, and I got an answer that works for ME, but I'm positive that everyone is different. For me, I've never been attracted to girls besides from being friends. I've always loved the idea of the cookie cutter life, with the wife, two kids, suburban house, etc. etc., so that has always made me rethink whether I could be bisexual or not. Also, once I fit into my sexual identity, I think that I did find women LESS attractive than I already thought because I'm gay and that's what I "should do". I do think this principle could be valid, but I'm not sure that it applies to me.
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Post: #671306 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:34AM |
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Yes, they are.
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Post: #671308 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:36AM |
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Well, I don't think being "capable" of being attracted to both sexes makes you bisexual. I think those are different issues. I'm not sexually attracted to females, therefore I'm not bisexual. You can tell me I'm wrong all you want, but that doesn't make it true.
Now if I wake up one morning ten years from now and suddenly feel like having sex with women, then yeah, maybe I'm capable of being attracted to both sexes, and who's to say that won't happen? But it doesn't mean I'm bisexual now.
OMNIA SUNT INGRATA |
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Edit: Merovingian, Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:38AM
Post: #671309 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:38AM |
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^ way to be concise, Paul!  I love how frank you are in your posts.
And Dominykas, I'm not really talking about BEING bisexual or identifying as it. I'm using the word bisexual here to represent the "concept" of romantic or sexual attraction to both genders. The underlying capability/possibility of it. I know I'm not bisexual and I don't identify as it either, but I'm wondering if it's possible we all have the capability of being that way, or if we are BORN that way and we deviate later to our respective sexual "preferences" (not saying it's a choice) due to a variety of social or biological factors. (the capitals are for emphasis, not yelling lol)
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."
http://www.soulforce.org/resou...-homosexuality/
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Edit: Autumn1492, Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:44AM
Post: #671312 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:39AM |
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For anyone whose sexuality has changed, then yeah, you could say they had the capability to have attraction to both sexes all along and it took time for one to shift to the other (or for one to shift to both). But to say that everyone has that capability, I don't know, since there are some people whose sexual attractions will always be for one sex. Does that mean they don't have the capability or that they did have it, it was just never shown?
OMNIA SUNT INGRATA |
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Post: #671314 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:47AM |
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:: Rakkaus
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I think the idea that all humans are born inherently bisexual or pansexual (and thus only develop heterosexuality/homosexuality due to postnatal factors) is an interesting theory and should certainly be explored in much more detail...consider ancient Greek and Roman societies before the arrival of Christianity, in which it was the norm for people to engage in sexual relations with both men and women.
Would living in a society free of all homophobia and heterosexism, where sexual orientation was a complete non-issue, result in everyone essentially embracing bisexuality? Probably not, though it nevertheless would sure be nice to test that scenario out....
I get what you are saying about people potentially repressing their attractions for the other gender. I still identify as bisexual, although as time goes on I find myself increasingly heterophobic, reacting involuntarily with a hint of revulsion on the admittedly rare occasion I find a girl attractive.
With all that said, even if it were true that humans are inherently bisexual, I don't think that all people who identify as homosexual or heterosexual could somehow awaken some latent bisexual tendencies. Even if a strict hetero/homo identity were not assigned at birth, once formed sexual orientation clearly is unchangeable, as millions of gay victims of "ex-gay therapy" can attest to.
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Post: #671320 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 5:54AM |
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These are great thoughts everyone! Yes, Greece and Rome are interesting societies to mention.. For example, males would often engage in sexual activity with other males, while females were reserved for marriage. It was expected that one would marry and bear children. I've heard homosexuality as an orientation wasn't even a "thing" till the 19th century when intellectuals started analyzing it more closely.
I agree, I don't think my hypothesis necessarily means everyone could become bi after realizing they are exclusively straight or gay. It also doesn't necessarily mean that everyone could embrace bisexuality (if it were true) I suppose I ponder these thoughts because most of my life, I liked boys. It was awkward, but I liked them. I'm sure that was due to the fact that my family NEVER told me about being gay. If I felt homosexual feelings, I dismissed them as feelings of friendship. In fact, I remember doing such things at several times during my adolescence.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."
http://www.soulforce.org/resou...-homosexuality/
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Post: #671322 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:02AM |
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I shall raise another question similar to my original, mostly due to one thing you said, Dominykas. Do you think everyone's sexuality is capable of changing? Is it possible it is more fluid than we realize? Could someone who has ONLY ever liked one gender like the other gender later on? If so, would they be considered Bisexual, or would they be considered only Moving to straight or gay (depending on their original orientation.)? Would they be referred to as just "not realizing" their original orientation if it did change later in life? That sounded weird, let me make an example.
Okay, a man is straight his whole life. One day, he suddenly likes men. Taking his PREVIOUS attractions into account, is he called bisexual (due to all those women he very much liked) or has he gone from straight to gay? Did he BECOME gay or was that possibly always there? Do we ignore his former loves and say "Oh no, he is not bi, he merely took forever to realize that he is gay."
That is my question! Did his sexuality CHANGE in adulthood; was it fluid the whole time? Or was he born gay and went his whole life without "realizing" it, thereby explaining his straight relationships? If said man developed an attraction for men but STILL liked women, we would say he was bisexual. But my question is, was he BORN that way (non straight) and didn't realize it his whole life, or did it fluidly change in adult life? If he had fulfilling relationships with women his whole life, but one day only liked men, was he born gay and ignoring his potential, or was he born straight (or bi, if you believe my hypothesis) and changed later? When does this change occur? Did he have the potential for both his whole life?
So many questions... My mind is brimming with them.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."
http://www.soulforce.org/resou...-homosexuality/
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Edit: Autumn1492, Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:18AM
Post: #671325 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:15AM |
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Personally I have a very set opinion on this, however, many people disagree with me an believe it is a fluid thing. I believe in bisexuality, and all of that, but I do not believe that someone just "turns gay". In the classic situation with the married man who suddenly "cheats on his wife with a man", I believe that he was either gay from the start (and either hiding it, confused, or did not realize what real attraction was), or that he is bisexual. When I say that this hypothetical person could be bisexual, I mean to say that he just had not found a person that he was attracted to until then. In the end, I'm not an expert, and have no clue as to the answers of any of these questions (just a wild instinct on my part). However, I certainly hope that people cannot "turn gay" because then all of the horrible gay to straight therapies which have been given to people can be justified.
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Post: #671326 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:21AM |
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And yet another thought occurs to me! The whole concept of "not realizing you are gay and that explains all those years you thought you were straight"... What if somebody "changed" twice? What if, after realizing I'm lesbian, I one day only find myself attracted to men again? (that will not happen, once you go woman you can never go back lol) but would people just say I was confused all these years, or is it possible that EACH one of my sexualities was the "real" one? Could sexuality legitimately change back and forth and not just be due to confusion? That is why I wonder if we are all inherently bisexual... Within us we may contain the possibility of loving both genders, and our orientation now is simply the EXPRESSION of that possibility.
I doubt there is anyone as confused as the hypothetical people I have described; I doubt anyone could go back and forth between being legitimately gay or straight, but I bet things are a lot more fluid than we realize!
Pansexuals, I believe you have it pretty accurately. And gender fluid people, we need a new concept... Fluid sexuality. As in I'm sexually fluid!
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."
http://www.soulforce.org/resou...-homosexuality/
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Post: #671327 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:26AM |
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:: ToriMagic
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Well... my cousin's friend is bisexual (equal opportunities as she likes to say) and thinks that.
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Post: #671328 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:28AM |
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Oh yes Harrison, I do not believe in that awful gay to straight therapy! Goodness no. I am more inclined to believe your view, about the "not realizing" thing. No one changes like the hypothetical people I described, but I just had to have answers to my questions. If people did change, it could be due to latent tendencies not realized, I doubt anyone would make two transitions. However, if they did change back and forth, and they found all their lifetime's relationships to be fulfilling, I wouldn't dismiss their relationships as confusion. (but again, that would probably never ever happen; my scenarios are pretty abstract.)
I'm sorry for all the posts; I just am in SUPER philosophy mode and thoughts are coming at me in a stream of consciousness matter.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."
http://www.soulforce.org/resou...-homosexuality/
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Post: #671329 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:32AM |
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@Autumn
I believe sexuality labels describe your current sexuality. If a man was straight his whole life and now finds himself exclusively attracted to men, he is homosexual. Now. He was heterosexual, but he is no longer, and now he is homosexual. If he were attracted to both sexes, he would be bisexual. Otherwise, he's not. That's just my opinion. Not everyone agrees that the labels describe current sexuality, but I believe they do, because in my opinion, that's the only way they are useful and effective.
As for the rest...it's simply too hard to answer without concrete scientific genetic evidence. All I can say is what I think: I think anyone who's sexuality changes always has the potential for that change, but do not believe everyone has that potential. I can't prove it, that's just what I think.
OMNIA SUNT INGRATA |
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Edit: Merovingian, Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:38AM
Post: #671330 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:37AM |
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Thank you, Dominykas! I think you are right about the labels being for your current sexuality. Otherwise, they definitely would lose their meaning. And yes, not all people probably have the capacity to change (at least post natally). I certainly had a lot of jumbled questions, and I'm glad I could get some others' feedback.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."
http://www.soulforce.org/resou...-homosexuality/
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Post: #671332 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 6:58AM |
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I'd hate to call it either way and deny experiences, I know that I would not describe myself at any point in my life as bisexual.
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Post: #671349 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 10:46AM |
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I hate to say but no, not everyone is capable or is slightly attracted to both sexes. They're are people out their that have been strictly one sexuality since they were born and when placed in a situation of questioning sexuality they would most likely come out of the situation having not being really doubtful of their current sexuality at all. However, a large majority of people have the capability to actually 'be attracted to both sexes at one point'. Yet I still believe that most of these people are male closeted bisexuals who suffer peer pressure but since they like women two it doesn't matter to them. I say males because we all know by now that Females can pretend to be lesbian all they want and not get hated as much.
There is no hope without salvation, there is no life without destruction, in this desolate world we can only rely on the unknown for our minds shame the very ground.
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Post: #671357 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 11:56AM |
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:: TealSkye
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
Short, and frank answer; Yes.
We are all capable of loving outside our immediate sexual slate. Because love does not found itself strictly in sexual attraction.
That said, merely finding someone attractive doesn't mean you wish to sleep with them, and that's one of the defining factors in this.
So yeah, all humans, short of asexuals, have to ability to find beings outside their sexual muck attractive. We all have the ability to love outside our sexual slate, and in turn make-love outside our sexual slate.
This doesn't mean they have the desire to sleep with all slates repressed, nor is there a constant hum of sexual tension foregoing light.
It just means humans are complicated as shit. ^_^
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Edit: TealSkye, Tue 31 Jul 12, 11:30PM
Post: #671482 , Tue 31 Jul 12, 11:29PM |
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