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Topic: To the Feminine Gay Guys
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:: JayD
:: QA8 High Householder | |
I was on ok cupid this morning surfing through cute guys when a blurb caught my eye. It read "If you'd be interested in a date, please note I'm only attracted to more masculine men that have their act together. It's just a preference, but I just don't find very feminine men that can't support themselves very attractive."
Seems to attach being feminine to financially unstable. I approached him on the topic and he switched his profile to say, "I'm only attracted to more masculine men and guys that have their act together. It's just a preference, but I don't find very feminine men attractive, as well as men who can't support themselves."
So, what do you think of the issues surrounding the inner gay communities discriminatory views of feminine gay men? And what about statements like these on dating sites?
For more on the story and my own thoughts, check out Good as Gay - http://goodasgay.blogspot.com/...culine-men.html
Feel free to like the Facebook page too at the bottom of the post there is a link. Thanks! I know I will get great input and I can't wait to see what QA has to say about this!
I love helping people. If I succeeded consider liking my Good as Gay FB page.
FB page - http://www.facebook.com/goodasgay
Blog -
http://goodasgay.blogspot.com
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Post: #658626  , Wed 20 Jun 12, 10:33PM |
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:: XlobX
:: QA8 High Householder | |
It does seem like the super-stereotypical gay couple (I'm talking as in porn-super-stereotypical) sort of transfers the gender roles and sexism of stereotypical heterosexual relationships onto itself. There is a dominant guy who is the 'man', and the submissive guy who is the 'woman'.
I expect that, therefore, any prejudice against feminine guys in the gay community originates from this idea of the homosexual couple mimicking the sexism of the heterosexual couple.
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Post: #658629 , Wed 20 Jun 12, 10:44PM |
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That sterotype kinda bothers me when people use it in a rude way..there is no 'woman' in the relationship. Thats the point -_-
L<3VE~
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Post: #658630 , Wed 20 Jun 12, 10:47PM |
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:: Avi345
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
I mean, I understand the whole being more attracted to "masculine" men. But what that guy said about more feminine men being unstable? That's really messed up...
Live fast, have fun, and be a bit mischievous
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Post: #658631 , Wed 20 Jun 12, 10:50PM |
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That is pretty discriminatory
I remember back then when i was with a guy, my friend commented that i was the submissive one in the relationship (although i don't look the part), but i was doing fairly better than he was when it came to academics and helping out my family along with him and me
i don't really like these types of stereotypes and only wish to just live life without them
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Post: #658635 , Wed 20 Jun 12, 10:58PM |
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:: Puff
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I think playing with the stereotype can only be a bit of fun if it is only in jest and stuff, but considering all effeminate men as financially unstable with their acts not together is beyond ridiculous....
@Xandra: Emmm... I know I'm usually the more effeminate guy, often by quite a bit but I'd view myself as the woman in a relationship most of the time... 
However I think this is being taken wrong...
"please note I'm only attracted to more masculine men that have their act together"
"It's just a preference, but I don't find very feminine men attractive, as well as men who can't support themselves"
I think he is just saying that he doesn't like feminine men and he doesn't like men who can't support themselves, I think he isn't linking the two but rather stating two things he doesn't like in men which is fair enough  It may have just been mis-worded to begin with... However obviously if it was intentional kill him with the fire >.<
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Edit: Puff, Wed 20 Jun 12, 11:01PM
Post: #658637 , Wed 20 Jun 12, 11:00PM |
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Oh I just dont like when people insist that someone HAS to 'be the girl.' I think its a personal thing.
L<3VE~
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Post: #658651 , Wed 20 Jun 12, 11:32PM |
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:: Zolin
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
I think in most (gay) relationships one is always more femenine than the other.
But I never understand what "being the girl" means. Cause I also know many cases in which the femme one is the top so...
Makes you wonder
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Post: #658654 , Wed 20 Jun 12, 11:34PM |
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Yeah, I mean most of the time one guy will be more feminine than the other. But that doesnt make him a girl...and it doesnt have anything to do with ability to support oneself O_o
L<3VE~
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Post: #658655 , Wed 20 Jun 12, 11:37PM |
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@Tom - To me it sounded like he said "I just don't find very feminine men that can't support themselves very attractive," at first, then once he was called out on in he changed it to "I don't find very feminine men attractive, as well as men who can't support themselves." Maybe he meant the latter, but I think the first quote is still offensive, if he meant it the way it sounded.
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.
"Rub that glitter and grease around"
~Lady Gaga
"I'm fierce and I'm feeling mighty. I'm a golden girl, I'm an aphrodite, alright!"
~Kylie Minogue
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Post: #658739 , Thu 21 Jun 12, 1:36AM |
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That is one of my favorite things I hear constantly from straight people, "Who is the woman in the relationship?" To which my usual response is "You are!"
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Post: #660669 , Wed 27 Jun 12, 8:14AM |
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I am less attracted to feminine men, though that's because they're more like women, which I'm much less attracted to. Unstable is just bull.
Believe in the you that believes in you.
No, I don't know what that means.
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Post: #660671 , Wed 27 Jun 12, 8:28AM |
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:: Xeffy
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
people equate feminine mostly based on appearence and personality. in the appearence department long hair is considered feminine and many people think long hair does not belong on men in the work place because its "un-proffesional"
I hate how I look when my hair is cut short... and my boss made me cut my hair, now i have to go through the awkward stage of growing it out, AGAIN!
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Post: #661244 , Thu 28 Jun 12, 5:09PM |
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:: xdarkdatax
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Well, in a way I'm a little more "feminine" than not, HOWEVER, to be called a "girl" or a "woman" would bother me. The point is, I am not a girl/woman. And I do like more masculine men than me (taller, stronger, etc) but, to equate that to being unstable as well? False. I have moments of instability, but, for the most part I am considered a stable academic with no attachments to human existence (hence the partial instability)
but, as usual, the idea of homosexuality is summed up to a more heterosexual appearance with the more "submissive" of the two being considered the "woman". It is annoying, since I tend to be the more submissive one, but I have a mind of my own and I am definitely not a girl!
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Post: #661303 , Thu 28 Jun 12, 11:15PM |
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:: Volke
:: QA2 Settling in | |
i think its a little too far to say that theyre unstable (its kinda far), but im not attracted to fem guys either, mostly because i have no interest in being the masculine one at all. it could possibly be that he dislikes flamboyant people, but i still think that isn't how he should have said it :/
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Post: #661368 , Fri 29 Jun 12, 3:53AM |
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Well some people like to have that type of stereotypical relationship. And the statement about submissive guys not having their stuff together is a little disturbing. The way I see things, I want equality in the relationship. I am pretty even-keeled when it comes to feminine and masculine attributes, and I think I would want someone who is a good balance too.
(Insert Short Non-Distracting Text)
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Edit: indielibra, Fri 29 Jun 12, 4:05PM
Post: #661439 , Fri 29 Jun 12, 4:00PM |
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well as a more submissive guy I have got my life going pretty well got a job on the verge of a promotion going to school, my ex who was a more dom type didn't have a job was completely unable to support himself I was the one making money I was the one paying for a place to live and I would have been the more feminine one though I don't appear to be very feminine.
P.L.U.R.R.
Peace
Love
Unity
Respect
Responsibility
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Post: #661443 , Fri 29 Jun 12, 4:14PM |
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I think everyone have their own opinion, personaly I prefer more masculin people, but I do not despreciate or attack femenine gay gays. This topic is kind of difficult, because eventhought we all are a community we still have some differences.
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Post: #661827 , Sun 1 Jul 12, 8:24AM |
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