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Mainpage » QA Forums » Starbucks » Topic: How do I know if a boy is gay?

Topic: How do I know if a boy is gay?


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:: theweedon
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
QA Member's Avatar
Okay, i know i know gaydar, but mines confusing me atm. theres this boy at my school, he totallly cute and blonde (sighs) but hes kinda quiet and i dont know him all that well, how do i know if he is gay or not, coz i really cant tell right now, any suggestions? xxxxxxxxx
Who survives? you decide, but who decides you survive?
  Post: #75122 Link to this post, Wed 28 Feb 07, 11:17PM
:: WiseOne
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
Well, If someone knows Your sexuality, ask them what makes it obvious, if at all, That's the only thing I can come up with that doesn't involve running up to him and screaming something like "Are you gay then?"

Pride is all we have left? Is this what we've been reduced too!.
  Post: #75197 Link to this post, Thu 1 Mar 07, 5:47PM
:: jazzuall
:: QA7 Taking responsibility
QA Member's Avatar
This one's age-old. Emoticon: Grin :D Try to get to know him better, I suppose. Maybe you could take a seat next to him in a dining hall and try to strike up a conversation. That might work out. Would asking his e-mail address be too obvious and revealing?
But you are, Blanche!
  Post: #75198 Link to this post, Thu 1 Mar 07, 6:03PM
:: Mitosis
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
QA Member's Avatar

Example one.

A: Excuse me, please don't take this the wrong way, but are you gay?
B: No.
A: Thanks anyway. *smile at him and then walk away*

Example two.

A: Excuse me, please don't take this the wrong way, but are you gay?
B: Err... well, yeah. (Or anything along those lines)
A: *friendly smile* Cool. *insert anything here*

If you doubt he would come out to you, then ask for his E-mail address and/or become his friend. There's no harm in gaining a friend, straight or not.
  Post: #75201 Link to this post, Thu 1 Mar 07, 6:15PM
:: zed13
:: QA10 Community God
QA Member's Avatar
You make it sound so easy Matt, but having been in that exact situation, I know it's a great deal harder. I'm a pretty confident guy, but I could never pluck up the courage to ask a guy that... especially if I fancied him!

My tack would be to do some reconnaissance... Do you share any common friends? Does he have a myspace page? What's his email address? What's he into? ... building up a better picture of him will help you; a) see whether you really like him still, and b) find a way of working out his sexuality.

If it's any help, here's my story. I fancied this guy at college, and I only knew his first name. And I wasn't really great friends with him, and only met him and his mates by chance a few times. Anyway, I sorta gave up on it, coz I was sure he wasn't gay. Then, months later, a friend of mine said someone had a crush on me, and I guessed it was him. I txted him, said I fancied him, he replied, said he was asbolutely speechless, and had fancied me for months. The rest is history. So yeah, don't stress about it - where there's a will, there's a way.

Good luck hunni!

zed :: apple | art | boys | films | laughing | music | sleeping | talking | design :: learn more...
  Post: #75203 Link to this post, Thu 1 Mar 07, 6:51PM
:: petergm22000
:: QA1 Just in
This is from an article from YGA magazine,even though, I think zed 13 has given the best answer so far,Bravo!
Get the guy that you fancy in a situation where you can have a long conversation about everything,what's going on at school,life histories,books, music, world politics,whatever,you get the picture.Then get around to what the article called talking about, "hypotheticals",where being gay is concerned.I don't think they gave examples,I read the article 2 years ago!I might say,"Well,I can see a situation where if a goodlooking dude asked me to try out sex with him I might be tempted to do it! It really depends on the dude",and then you get his reaction,and voila',you can figure where to go from there.
  Post: #75652 Link to this post, Tue 6 Mar 07, 10:41PM
:: Yashafan2004
:: QA8 High Householder
QA Member's Avatar
Look at his eyes, I can tell whether a guy is gay, bi or metrosexual in their eyes, there's a different glint in their eyes, plus there is something definitely effeminite in their eyes. Also try to talk to him, if there is something in his voice that crosses you as feminine, then he may be, but the best advice I can give you is to get to know him, gain his trust, and then ask him. But don't try too hard and too fast, you might just turn him away.

good luck
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  Post: #75817 Link to this post, Fri 9 Mar 07, 7:43PM
:: Carldevon
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
Thomas is away, indefinitely [Avatar]
Just remember this Theo... more than likely you will be asking that question for the rest of your life.
I'm doing all I can, and don't call me Shirley.
  Post: #75819 Link to this post, Fri 9 Mar 07, 8:04PM
:: zed13
:: QA10 Community God
QA Member's Avatar
I'm not sure about the 'eyes' thing. I can think of loads of guys who have a certain glint in their eyes but are straight as pencils.

How confusing!
zed :: apple | art | boys | films | laughing | music | sleeping | talking | design :: learn more...
  Post: #75876 Link to this post, Sun 11 Mar 07, 2:43PM
:: JRthecritic
:: QA10 Community God
QA Member's Avatar
Hey! I have a "bendy" pencil!

Emoticon: Grin :D

Jordan <3333
Here’s what I know about the realm of possibility—it is always expanding, it is never what you think it is. Everything around us was once deemed impossible. From the airplane overhead to the phones in our pockets to the choir girl putting her arm around the metalhead. As hard as it is for us to see sometimes, we all exist within the realm of possibility. Most of the limits are of our own world’s devising. And yet, every day we each do so many things that were once impossible to us.
  Post: #75906 Link to this post, Sun 11 Mar 07, 9:21PM
:: Racokfraco
:: QA7 Taking responsibility
QA Member's Avatar
Yep, I just do the conversation/clever beguiling tactic. Were I live asking someone if there gay and they turn out not to be is a great way to get jumped.
If your god created the universe in its whole expanse, the concepts of good and evil, and the laws of time and space, look at me with a straight face and tell me it cares where I stick my penis.
  Post: #75977 Link to this post, Tue 13 Mar 07, 12:19AM
:: declan_5584
:: QA8 High Householder
QA Member's Avatar
well i have been there before and i got a friend of mine to ask him if he was gay but you have to make sure they dont let on that you asked them to do it

xxxEmoticon: Smile :)xxx
Breath love into the fires of passion and it will keep you warm at night
  Post: #80442 Link to this post, Fri 20 Apr 07, 8:00PM
:: silverpaw
:: QA1 Just in
QA Member's Avatar
Don't take my word for it but i read an article where you can physically see if your guy is gay or straight. it said that all gay guys have their index finger longer than the ring finger (wedding finger, whatever) and straight guys will have their ring finger longer than the index. This apllies to women too, apearently, but it's vice versa. I found this to be true since mine are and well... my friends aren't... the problem is, the fingers have to be stretched out next to each other... and... yea... like i said this was what an article said, and i found it true to me... i bet everyone who reads this now will stare at their hands...
"i'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for who I'm not"
  Post: #80516 Link to this post, Sat 21 Apr 07, 7:52AM
:: AQuestion
:: QA10 Community Goddess
QA Member's Avatar
I heard that and everyone I asked to see the hands of had index fingers longer than pointer fingers, even my straight girl friends. So, I don't know about that.....
Dyke tested, fag approved
  Post: #80538 Link to this post, Sat 21 Apr 07, 7:23PM
:: Jeej
:: QA1 Just in
QA Member's Avatar
It is not possible to see if someboy is gay. You can guess it, but nothing more.
"Look at his eyes"
What if someboy have glasses? What if his eyes are dry or to wet?
"index finger longer than the ring finger"
So? My index finger isn't longer than my ring finger. Am I now not gay? No, am still gay...
Al those things like "you can see it in his eyes" or "Gay people are physical different" aren't true.

But what can you do now? The best way is to get in contact with him. If you are friends with him, you can know him better. So when there is shomething you don't like about him, and it is so big, you can dump him easilier then whatever the option is.
Also, when you tell him directly that you like him, you can scare him with that. What if he isn't gay? He can going to call you names, tell his friends...
Tell someboy that you like him is difficult..
Be whatever you want to be. Be yourself. Others can\'t say what you have to be...
  Post: #80544 Link to this post, Sat 21 Apr 07, 7:44PM
:: DaMoN7
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
QA Member's Avatar
well i`m in the same situation right now . well my situation is a bit different , but in the end it all comes down to is he gayyyyyyyy ?

what i can suggest is try to become friends . cus once you guys start talking on the fone && at scool&stuff , you`ll obviously get to know eachother . i`m not saying flaunt it to him that your gay or bi or whatever , but don`t hide it . but make it somewhat obvious .

good luck :]
"i can do what she can do ..

.. so much better .. "
  Post: #80556 Link to this post, Sat 21 Apr 07, 10:17PM
:: edstar
:: QA1 Just in
QA Member's Avatar
Well first of all i agree there is NO physical way to tell if somebody is gay. OK? It is a FACT.

So i want to share my story, it may be helpfull.

I fancy a guy (still do) and i told a few of my girlfreinds. Well, there was some bitching and basically it got out. Everyone was saying that i was gay and i liked this guy.

Well me and this guy were fairly freindly to eachother cos i sit next to him in my I.T lesson every week...and i built up our freindship and my confidence.

I started by one week talking about what he thought about gay people and if one of his freinds told him he was gay. he said it wouldnt change anything.

So one lesson I said.."i'm gay" obviously not like that straight out. i built it up in a confersation. but in the end i told him (and he knew about the roumour)

So then after that in a few weeks i plucked up some courage (a lot of) and said "please dont hate me or anything but...the roumours are true"

him "all of it"?

me "erm...yeah. sorry are you freaked?"

but bascailly in the end he took it really well and we're now really good freinds and he still hasn't told me his gay (which he may not be) but i'm just trying to become "best" (or as close as) freinds.

Nothing may EVER happen. but at least i tried. tip : do it as soon as you can. dont leave it becuase you never know..

good luck..
  Post: #392719 Link to this post, Fri 28 May 10, 6:45PM
:: 5intheMourning
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round
QA Member's Avatar
If I were you...

I would totally set him up to expose his homosexuality (because I don't have anything better to do in my life).

Step 1. Leave him a note saying "I know you're a homo, and I think you're really cute" In his bag/locker etc

Step 2. Initiate stalking operations, follow him around and keep a dairy about everything he does...

Step 3. Alcohol. When the opportunity arises lower his inhibitions just enough to make a few suggestive passes.

Step 4. You have a choice between stealing a kiss, or just asking him if he's gay - because that is the only way you are really going to know. No amount of stalking, alcohol or making suggestive passes will give you a straight answer.


Disclaimer: I do not endorse stalking people or purposefully getting them intoxicated to extract information... But you gotta admit, it is fun Emoticon: Tongue :p
"To see the world in a grain of sand,
and heaven in a wild flower.
Hold the universe in the palm of your hand,
and eternity in an hour."
William Blake
  Post: #392747 Link to this post, Fri 28 May 10, 8:28PM
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