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Topic: Would you date a bi/pansexual?
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Okay, I know there has been lots of post about things similar to this, but I'm not sure this question has been asked specifically. A lot of bisexuals and pansexuals feel like lesbians/gays might not want to date us because we might decide to suddenly go fall for a the opposite gender and leave them or something similar. And I just want to know, for how many of you guys is this true for? How many lesbians/gays would never date a bi/pansexual? Personally, I think this would be an unfair way of thinking, but I understand it. I can see it being scary. I know that bisexuals tend to fluctuate. But I know I would never relationship hop or break up with someone for any reason but a really serious one. No matter what their gender. I just <3 people! So, thoughts? I would love to see a fun debate on this, and I'm really curious to see what everyone on here thinks about this!
~love everyone~
*writingismyworld*
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Post: #651931  , Sun 27 May 12, 3:38AM |
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Okay so to answer this.... I am a lesbian, I am a bit cautious when it comes to bisexual women. That goes with the fact that every woman leaves me for a guy... or cheats on me with a guy...
after the LONGEST time, I finally say "fuck it", I will give this girl a chance because it's only fair. she personally did nothing wrong to me..... but the fact that she is getting back with her ex(which happens to be male) is a bit threatening....
i don't know where i am going with this, but i guess it's just in our head.... and is tossed in with some bad past experiences ya know?
I do date bisexuals but I am more cautious with them :/
There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot.
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Post: #651936 , Sun 27 May 12, 3:49AM |
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I think it would be silly to refuse to date someone because they're bi/pansexual. Originally I had a long-winded justification for that, but I think I'll just stick with this  .
"What a crazy random happen-stance!" -Dr. Horrible.
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Post: #651939 , Sun 27 May 12, 3:51AM |
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:: Lynn
:: QA10 Community Goddess | |
Uhhhhhh.... They would need a lot going for them at the same time. When I hear bisexual, my mind automatically jumps to the image of all the girls I knew in high school who called themselves bisexual and really just slept with anything that showed an interest. Really, if someone identified as bisexual and still had the same values as me about relationships then it wouldn't be that big a problem. I dated a bisexual and she most definitely did not have the same values that I did. She cheated with me on a guy, and last I heard she was dating a guy. For me, I always fear that the girl is just experimenting. XD Personal experience has made me really cautious and really, it would be hard for me to date another bisexual.
Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Love is the poetry of the senses. ~Honoré de Balzac
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Post: #651940 , Sun 27 May 12, 3:57AM |
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Wouldn't it be just as hurtful if they cheated on you with another girl? Or got back with any ex in general? I personally would never cheat, and I'm definitely past the stage where I might have been experimenting. I can understand being cautious though, I think caution is helpful whenever you start a new relationship. It just makes me sad to think that there might be girls out there who won;t give me a chance just because I'm bi(though I'm probably actually pan... oh, labels are fun). I would be just as careful with someone's heart as if I were lesbian. I would never date a guy I had already broken up with again, because there would have been a reason we broke up. I like girls just as much, and I would never intentionally hurt anyone.
Of course I know not everyone thinks this way, many gays/lesbians are open to dating pan/bisexuals. I was just curious what people thought
~love everyone~
*writingismyworld*
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Post: #651947 , Sun 27 May 12, 4:10AM |
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well of course we are cautious with other lesbians.... but just the painful experiences from our past haunt us when it comes to meeting new bisexual women...
I learn with time and getting to know the girl, the fears lower dramatically we feel more safe....
There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot.
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Post: #651948 , Sun 27 May 12, 4:21AM |
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Being a gay guy, I think it's a bit easier because while straight guys think bisexual girls are "hot", straight girls don't feel the same way about bisexual guys, so it's not something guys do to get attention sometimes. In short, I would have no problem dating a guy who was bi, and I certainly wouldn't have a problem dating a pan guy.
"All men should strive to learn before they die: What they are running from, and to, and why."
-James Thurber
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Post: #651954 , Sun 27 May 12, 4:45AM |
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@ Heather: Shouldn't we do the same with all relationships, though? I think any relationship that ends badly has painful memories.
@ Andy: That's nice to know
~love everyone~
*writingismyworld*
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Post: #652034 , Sun 27 May 12, 4:57PM |
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As long as they're girls and they're at least bi/pansexual or full-on lesbians I don't care. Unless they're bad people. Then no. But if they're honestly good people it shouldn't matter.
To see us dance is to hear our hearts speak- Hopi Indian saying
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Post: #652059 , Sun 27 May 12, 7:20PM |
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:: Kuuipo
:: QA10 Community Goddess | |
I've dated a bi girl before, and awkward enough she did leave me for a boy, or as she put it "someone more gender defined". But that wouldn't stop me from dating anyone, who cares, right?
"The past can hurt. You can either run from it or learn from it." ~Rafiki
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss
~Clicking this link will bring you to a very special place and you should click it because click it.|
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Post: #652061 , Sun 27 May 12, 7:26PM |
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:: benjn
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
Yeah I'd date a bi guy. It's not like being bi is gonna make him cheat on me. I don't really see that there's a discussion to be had here. If someone wants to date you and you want to date them, so for it. I don't care if he likes girls too.
"Be what you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr Seuss
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Post: #652066 , Sun 27 May 12, 7:35PM |
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Yes, sure.
If he love me, He'll not leave me for a girl,
and I would never cheat anybody.
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Post: #652081 , Sun 27 May 12, 8:09PM |
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I'm queer... which is similar to pansexuality. So yea, I'd go for it.
Honestly, as long as you're faithful and not hiding who you are, sure. My girlfriend is a complete lesbian and she has no issue with that fact that I find, men, women, transgenders, intersex and so on- attractive.
It's all about the person your dating, not the sexuality of that person, ya know?
Possibly nuts :P
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Edit: RobotXTheatre, Sun 27 May 12, 8:15PM
Post: #652084 , Sun 27 May 12, 8:12PM |
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I'm bi, and I have absolutely no interest in sleeping with anyone who shows interest.
And would I cheat? Absolutely not. Ever. It's unacceptable regardless of your sexuality.
I like committed monogamous relationships, thank you very much, and the fact that I like both genders has no impact on this.
To be honest, if someone told me they'd be wary of dating a bisexual person, I'd immediately just assume that they're not worth my time if they'd judge me poorly for my sexuality.
* A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
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Post: #652086 , Sun 27 May 12, 8:19PM |
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^Laura: You don't have to sleep with someone to date them. Hell, I once dated someone for 7 months and all we ever did was share a tiny little peck on the cheek.
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Post: #652090 , Sun 27 May 12, 8:26PM |
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:: grum
:: QA Staff (Founder) | |
I don't think I could bring myself to date a guy who doesn't define as gay, but it's not because of some misguided notion that they'd be more likely to cheat. It's purely because I, personally, cannot understand it. I couldn't date someone with such a large part of them that I can't empathise with.
I wish the world was flat like the old days / And I could travel just by folding the map / No more airplanes or speed trains or freeways / There'd be no distance that could hold us back
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Post: #652094 , Sun 27 May 12, 8:49PM |
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:: Falconfly
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
Being bisexual myself, I'm ridiculously monogamous.
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Post: #652096 , Sun 27 May 12, 9:31PM |
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I'm glad to see so many different opinions. It's nice to know not everybody thinks that way, even if it makes sense why they would. I've just met people who think like this is all. And I just feel like that if you like someone and you trust them, sexuality shouldn't matter. But of course, everyone had personal preference and no one can tell you what kind of person to date. I think that Grum's reason for not dating anyone who doesn't define as gay is way more legitimate than some reasons I've heard. And maybe I've just been looking in all the wrong places.
~love everyone~
*writingismyworld*
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Post: #652098 , Sun 27 May 12, 9:45PM |
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When the bisexuell person I meet is interessted in me and likes me I would think it is okay. Today it is the same for me what gender the person I am dating has. If he or she is interessted in me and I am interessted too, there would not be a singel problem.
Lets have some fun this beat is sick
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Edit: Gagaguy, Sun 27 May 12, 10:05PM
Post: #652099 , Sun 27 May 12, 9:51PM |
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Yes, certainly.
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Post: #652104 , Sun 27 May 12, 10:09PM |
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