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Topic: Cry Fest - In front of Mom
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:: JayD
:: QA8 High Householder | |
Hi everyone. I know that in high school and in middle school it can be really difficult to have an open and honest relationship with your parents. And sometimes, in really unfortunate cases, you can't have that after you go off to college. I am very fortunate. So, I just want this to be a message of hope that you can get help from parents if you let them help you. You might be surprised what they can and will do for you if you just give them a chance.
So, just last night my aunt and uncle called via skype.I am very close to them because they helped raise me after my dad committed suicide. My mom did most the talking to them because I was feeling rather anxious. I had come out to them a year or so ago and they really never want to have a deep discussion of how they stood on gay and lesbian marriage before I came out. Not to mention some of their bashful homophobia. But, they are ok and very loving of me now. My grandma, who lives near by, also knows I am gay and I came out to her a couple of months ago. She has given me this religious banter and hasn't talked with my aunt and uncle about the letters she keeps sending me about homosexuality being a sin blah blah blah.
Anyhow, my mom then starts telling them about my crazy cousin Liam who also is gay. See, now I didn't know he was crazy like has some severe mental issues, and his temper being what people didn't want to be around and such. I assumed that I was kept away from him because of his homosexuality. And there were many comments made about him before I came out. So, of course, I didn't want to come out for fear of being associated with him. Plus, because I have had such severe thoughts of suicide because of both what my father did and what many in the queer community have done, I get super sensitive around the topic.
I tried to leave when my mom started talking about Liam because I felt very stigmatized and that my aunt and uncle would associate me with my cousin. When I walked back in, she was talking about a suicide note my cousin had left his mom, my other aunt who lives somewhere else. And, because I am simply a butler for my mom this summer, she jokes a lot about it. And I tried to defend my position and was cut off by my mom when trying to say something to my aunt and uncle who were on skype. It takes me a lot to say anything to them because it is hard to judge how they feel about me being gay sometimes. So, having my mom cut me off from taking that risk, put me over the edge.
So anyways, I tensed up and felt a headache come in, then started crying. At first, I hid it, but then I decided that I needed to tell my mom how I was feeling because otherwise I would just find myself angry with her. So, I cried as I told her everything I just wrote about here and much more about how I am still coping with my past. It went really well, she actually stayed up really late with me and we just chatted as I spilled my guts about how I was feeling.
So, sometimes if you just give it a chance, you can really open up. But be sure to choose your allies to do this with. It is hard and these emotions cling on tight!!! But, there's hope!!! Hope this helped at least one of you.
I love helping people. If I succeeded consider liking my Good as Gay FB page.
FB page - http://www.facebook.com/goodasgay
Blog -
http://goodasgay.blogspot.com
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Post: #650693  , Mon 21 May 12, 2:44AM |
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awwww! thats realy good, im in highschool and i tell my mum and dad things but not EVERYTHING because mostly when i cry i do it about being gay ;/xxxx
♥ GAY is just another word in the DICTIONARY ♥
♥ YOU are just another person in this WORLD! ♥
♥ WE are just all a bunch of amazing QUEERS! ♥
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Post: #650784 , Mon 21 May 12, 6:09PM |
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Thank you for sharing.
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Post: #650891 , Tue 22 May 12, 1:39AM |
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:: Lia47
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
That's great! I wish I could open up to my parents, god knows I've tried. Anyway, i'm beginning to think there isn't a single straight "Liam" on the planet. You know, except Liam Neeson.
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Post: #650896 , Tue 22 May 12, 1:58AM |
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:: Kholie36
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
I wish I could do that with my parents, we're just wicked far apart, not literally or phisically, but mentally.
"That's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life"-Chuck Palahniuk
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, Im afraid of widths."-Steven Wright
"One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it."-Mae West
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Post: #650994 , Tue 22 May 12, 4:08PM |
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:: JayD
:: QA8 High Householder | |
I forgot that I had posted this! Thanks for all your support everyone!
I love helping people. If I succeeded consider liking my Good as Gay FB page.
FB page - http://www.facebook.com/goodasgay
Blog -
http://goodasgay.blogspot.com
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Post: #654175 , Tue 5 Jun 12, 1:24AM |
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