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Topic: Hiding in the closet, from my mum...
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:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
My genderconfusion is starting to interfere with things (like school), and I feel like it's time to take it off the back-burner and deal with it. I've came out as trans to two friends already, and there's a weekly LGBT youth group I can go to (sometimes) for support if I needed to.
I found a gender therapist thinger I could go see. She's the closest one I could find, and has a sliding fee, so I could probably pay for a few sessions after I get my job this summer, if no one else will. I'd like to have a therapistthingy to talk to about gender, because a) professional opinions are nice to have, and b) I'm so used to counsellors listening to my crazy, but I can't tell my counsellor this stuff, I don't trust her with it. Plus, as this doc is actually specialized in gender, she can diagnose and help transition.
Unfortunately, to transition much more than my t-shirts and home-made binders, I most likely have to tell my mom.
I love my mum, but she's not overly understanding. As in she just doesn't understand things, and says herself that she doesn't understand new things. An example of this is when I used to cut (she would ground me and threaten me. Surprisingly, this worked-- it's why I stopped). On top of that, she doesn't believe a person can decide they're gay until they're an adult, because they don't know who they are or what they want.
These facts aren't overly encouraging. She already is annoyed all the time that I'm not into girl-y things and girl-y clothes and acting girl-y. She calls me a gay boy and asks frustratedly if I'm "ashamed of being a girl, or something". This is always when she's mad or annoyed or exasperated, never as just an observation. She mourns her "sweet little girl" that I used to be to her.
Yet, I could really use a supporting parent...
I just don't know if it would be ok to tell her, but I want to, because I have to, but yeah.
tl;dr Should I come out to my mum and get therapy (or possibly in trouble/threatened instead), or wait it out until I'm on my own?
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o
"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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Post: #650652  , Mon 21 May 12, 12:07AM |
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I think you should give this therapist a go before telling your mum.Just concencrate on getting your feelings sorted first.Good LuckXXX
"I said I don't give a shit!!! I'm going to do it!!!"
Patricia Quinn
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Post: #650750 , Mon 21 May 12, 1:47PM |
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:: Kholie36
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
I agree with Zoe. If your mom thinks that way, then it is probably best to just realize and find out who you are, then talk to her.
"That's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life"-Chuck Palahniuk
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, Im afraid of widths."-Steven Wright
"One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it."-Mae West
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Post: #650995 , Tue 22 May 12, 4:10PM |
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:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
I'd like to see the therapist first, then tell mum, but the problem is that it would be hard to see her without my mum knowing. The therapist is a couple hours' drive away, and my mum's very watchful about where I am and who I'm with at all times, so I can't just randomly disappear from town. If it weren't for that, I'd definitely be finding a way to see her secretly first.
Thanks~
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o
"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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Post: #651041 , Tue 22 May 12, 8:17PM |
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Maybe you could talk to your counselor about it. Counselors understand this kind of stuff, you can just let her know that you don't want her to tell anyone. She'll understand, she's a counselor after all.
"Man is free at the moment he wishes to be." -Voltaire
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Post: #651053 , Tue 22 May 12, 8:46PM |
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:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
Maybe... I don't know how much she'd know about this though. She's a child counsellor, I'm not even supposed to be seeing her any more because she's meant for kids, but my mum thinks I should stay with the same one until I age out in a couple months.
She deals with kids affected by divorce and abuse and stuff, not really transgenderedness... I suppose she might be able to at least help decide what to do, maybe? Urgh, I dunno, I don't like her xP
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o
"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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Post: #651057 , Tue 22 May 12, 9:04PM |
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