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Mainpage » QA Forums » Creation » Topic: Morana, a Sonnet

Topic: Morana, a Sonnet

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Aaron Send Aaron a private message
:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
Aaron is taking a break, indefinitely [Avatar]
I think it turned out ok? xD

You had been living in a fake coffin
Until your miserable life was ended;
Not by the knife (that you used to blend in),
But by a cause you'd never intended.

You wouldn't listen when given advice
To words that could have kept you alive,
And now your rough hands are as cold as ice,
Your cheek a pale shade for which you would strive.

What now am I to do with what we've got,
And all of the useless plans that you made?
What now am I to tell she who knew not
Of your formerly constant charade?

Should I tell her everything that you said--
Or should I tell her you're not really dead?

(alt. last line: "Or, perhaps, should I tell her you're not dead?" can't decide which to use, help? Emoticon: Tongue :p)


Feedback would be nice, I have to hand this in as part of a big school assignment, so if I could improve it, please lemme know Emoticon: Smile :)
Also, thank you for reading it x)
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o

"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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  Post: #650170 Link to this post, Fri 18 May 12, 10:42PM
Autumn Send Autumn a private message
:: briecynic77
:: QA9 Grand Elder
This is really fantastic! Emoticon: Grin :D

I think, on the last line, the "Or, perhaps, should I tell her you're not dead?" sounds better. But that's just my opinion. Emoticon: Smile :)
"It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately, it's about who you fall in love with." ~ Holly Holiday, Glee
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ~ Moulin Rouge
"When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, you find someone to carry you." ~ Firefly
  Post: #650312 Link to this post, Sat 19 May 12, 5:57PM
Amanda Send Amanda a private message
:: Kuuipo
:: QA10 Community Goddess
QA Member's Avatar
I love Sonnet's, this was great!
"The past can hurt. You can either run from it or learn from it." ~Rafiki

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss
~Clicking this link will bring you to a very special place and you should click it because click it.
  Post: #651451 Link to this post, Thu 24 May 12, 9:57PM
Aaron Send Aaron a private message
:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
Aaron is taking a break, indefinitely [Avatar]
Thanks Emoticon: Grin :D
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o

"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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  Post: #651456 Link to this post, Thu 24 May 12, 10:01PM
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