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Moved from Introductions and renamed |
Hi everyone I'm new to QA so sorry if it seems like I'm just blurting all this out as I haven't said this to anyone before.
My name is Stephen or Steve don't mind which. I'm 23 from Oxford. Basically the main problem is I'm still not out yet.
I didn't realise I was gay until I was 18 and coming from a big Catholic family (both mum and dads families) it has proved really difficult. They are the sort of people who go to church every Sunday and sometimes in the week too. They also go on holiday to all the religious places like Rome and Jerusalem aswell. My cousin is looked down upon as recently she was pregnant and not married - she was forced into a rushed wedding.
At 18 I tried to tell my mates but I couldn't as they were very homophobic. It meant that I lost what confidence I had and decided I couldn't go to uni as I couldn't deal with people knowing. I haven't spoken to them since.
Since then I just try to get through every day without thinking too far ahead. But just when I thought I was getting used to the idea of being gay something bad happened. My aunt who was married for 20 years found out her husband had been cheating on her with another man for years - he was secretly gay. Everyone got really angry and he is now no longer talked about.
Basically thats it so thanks if you're still reading. I don't have anyone to talk to so I would appreciate any support or advice. It would be cool to talk to people with similar experiences or who are near to me in age or location.
Thanks
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Post: #649198  , Mon 14 May 12, 11:45AM |
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Hello! Stephen!!!
Geez I know a lot of Stephens on here this will be the third one now XD.
I'm sorry your family and friends are so uptight. Mine are too. My parents are anyways. My friends are trying to force me out but I am staying in closet until I'm out of high school. I know what you mean with super strict parents because I have them and they basically don't want me reading LGBT books, talking to LGBT people or watching LGBT movies. I do all of the above though because I don't give a shit what they say. Well... I do but I do that stuff anyways... You're over 18 now so I'd say do whatever you want. They have no right to stop you since you're a legal adult.
PM me if you want to talk more,
-Lizzie
To see us dance is to hear our hearts speak- Hopi Indian saying
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Post: #649199 , Mon 14 May 12, 12:15PM |
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My main problem is that I'm 23 quite to sill not be out yet. I know my parents will be fine with it though but I just find it all a bit embarassing really. A lot of my family can be quite tactless.
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Post: #649207 , Mon 14 May 12, 1:57PM |
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If your parents will be fine with it, that's a big step!
I'm nearly 23 myself and am not "really" out to my family. I only came out to them when I got my first girlfriend at 19 - introduced her to my parents and all that. It made it feel a lot more natural when I actually had something to come out /about/. But don't feel like you're behind/too old - she (the gf) was a douche, anyway, and my family/friends hated her (not cause she was a girl, but because she failed at life) ;p Hopefully the best is yet to come!
I think you should focus on your university life and not worry so much about your family/parents for now...go to your university's gay-straight alliance, or go to gay events in nearby towns/cities...try to meet some gay friends. Come out to gay people first and see where it leads you. Just take things one step at a time 
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Post: #649232 , Mon 14 May 12, 6:04PM |
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:: Rakkaus
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
Hey don't worry about rushing to come out, everyone becomes ready to do so at their own pace.
I'm 21, and while I like to consider myself 'out' while I'm living full-time at university, I'm really not out to my family...until recently I wasn't sure I was ever going to tell them, just move away and live my own life...so I guess I'm sort of in that same boat as you, but there's no shame for you in waiting as long as you need before deciding to go through with it.
Do feel free to message me if you wish...some young 'uns here might think we 20-somethings have all been through all there is to see, but really we can be just as lost and confused. 
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Post: #649405 , Tue 15 May 12, 7:00AM |
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