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Topic: Is it cruel for kids to have gay parents?
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:: Omniglot
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
I was just wondering everyone's stance on this. I've always been of the mind that gay parents should be allowed to adopt no matter what, and I'd do it myself some day. However, one thing holds me back - kids are really, really goddamn mean to one another. And with the current social climate, is it really the best thing for the child to have to grow up with two dads, or two moms? No matter how much the parents love the child, the kids at school will surely find a way to use that against them, and make their life a living hell.... I couldn't bring myself to adopt just because of the torment the kids could be put through, not to mention having your parents called "faggot" or somesuch to your face.
So, what do you guys think? Is it OK? While it's the ultimate goal that nobody gives a fuck, I still don't want my kids to have a crappy childhood of bullying just because we're not quite there yet....
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Post: #647703  , Wed 9 May 12, 10:57PM |
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I think it can make the child stronger, i dont think its cruel in any way. having any kind of parent can make growing up hard, in my case, my parents are from mexico and im hispanic and sometimes i have to deal with some racism. there's going to cruelty among children, teens, and adults no matter wat
Bubbles!
Buttercup!
Blossom!
The one girly thing from my childhood :3
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Post: #647708 , Wed 9 May 12, 11:11PM |
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:: Jaden
:: QA8 High Householder | |
Kids are mean, yeah. They are always gonna pick on each other for one thing or another and in our quest to utterly stop this the only way to succeed, in my eyes, is to make everything unacceptable.
It's the parents job to teach kids whats okay and whats not but also how to handle things.
If they get all butt hurt and give the bullies the reactions they want then they aren't gonna stop. If the kids respond with "Wow took all your mental prowess to notice my dads are gay!" it's not nearly so satisfying to pick on them and an easier target is found. Less it comes to physical violence but hey, then kids get suspended and expelled and far more important lessons are learned. Violence cause you don't like something isn't acceptable.
But this all involves the parents being a solid part of their kids lives, in school, outside of, in all aspects. And not just by being there to scream out discrimination and hide behind that word. No. To teach their kids right from wrong, how to respond or not to respond, and when to go to administrators with issues and when they can be handled in a different fashion.
If parents don't get involved in a supportive way that is about /the child/ positive results come.
It all depends on how one handles the situations that come up.
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Post: #647723 , Thu 10 May 12, 12:08AM |
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I think some day you really should adopt kids. I think if I had two moms or dads I would think it's cool. Also it's unique and there are a lot of kids who are proud of having two parents of the same sex.
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Post: #647731 , Thu 10 May 12, 12:35AM |
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I find it ironic that the anti-gay crowd is so quick to say that gays shouldn't have kids because those kids will be bullied, but they'll also say "so what if you're bullied for being gay, straight people get bullied too for other reasons." Uh...so, which one is it?
OMNIA SUNT INGRATA |
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Edit: Merovingian, Thu 10 May 12, 1:31AM
Post: #647758 , Thu 10 May 12, 1:30AM |
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:: CH7i5
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
At the end of the day having to mums/dads is better than being an orphan. Kids will bully anyone, regardless. If anything about you is different your a target. Glasses, smart, dumb, overweight, ginger haired... Anything can get you bullied. So it's not like they will just pick on them for having gay parents, other kids will more than likely be bullied as well... Sad but true.
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Post: #647766 , Thu 10 May 12, 1:41AM |
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Kids are mean no matter what. Even if a kid's parents ARE straight, those other kids will ALWAYS find something else to pick at. Whether it's habits, their voice, looks, race, or even being adopted.. However, I've begun to start believing that homosexuals were the ones put in this world for those children whose parents died, abandoned or didn't want them. So there's my take on it.
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Post: #647777 , Thu 10 May 12, 2:04AM |
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Noa has it down. Kids are just mean, I got made fun of because my mom is jewish and my dad is a Pianist (penisist). Sure the kid will get some shit but it will just be different shit and it will make him or her stronger. Not only that, but children raised by gay couples would be more accepting of other's differences.
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Post: #647883 , Thu 10 May 12, 6:39AM |
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The kids may be picked on in earlier years for having gay parents but think about how much more of an accepting person they'll grow up to be?
Not to mention people nowadays are getting more and more accepting of gay people anyway 
I'm a Loiner, apparently...
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Post: #647884 , Thu 10 May 12, 7:11AM |
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:: Omniglot
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Yeah, hopefully by the time I want to adopt, it'll be a complete non-issue.... I mean, with the way things are, it's wishful thinking. But hey.
The only reason it concerns me is that I've heard just how bad bullying can get, and what it can do to the kids involved... true they'll always be picked on for something or other more often than not, but for some really odd reason people seem to get violent and more abusive than normal over the whole "queer" thing....
More to the point, I think it'd be pretty hurtful to hear slander left right and centre about your dads, and if they kid doesn't know how to brush it off, they'll become a target.
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Post: #647965 , Thu 10 May 12, 7:44PM |
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:: Jaden
:: QA8 High Householder | |
I feel like a lot of the ifs and bad side effects that have been brought up can be helped and handled if the parents are involved in their childs life and supportive of doing whats best for the kid.
Which means teaching them how to handle nasty comments both emotionally and who in authority to talk to pending on the level of bad.
This doesn't mean kids parented by gays will need therapy and ect all their lives. Nope. They might, but they also might just need to sit down and chat with their parents more often then seems to be common in families these days.
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Post: #648027 , Thu 10 May 12, 10:25PM |
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:: ImAnerd97
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Our society is changing. 20-50 years now, people who are homophobic are going to look like racists & prejudice. Its changing, believe it or not.
So, i think maybe, it'll be hard right now.
but, I think that people should adopt, no matter who they are.
Plus, It'll make the child stronger. & more open minded, in my opinion.
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Post: #648689 , Sun 13 May 12, 3:31AM |
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:: Twiggey
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
i personally think it would be great to have lgbtq parents it would make the kids more accepting cause they can see its normal especially if their classmates and friends are introduced to the kids parents at a young age so his/her friends would be more likely to stick up for him/her if you get what im saying
To live is to do what makes you happy not others. If what you love is different then stand against the tide of "normality" never stop fighting for happiness.
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Post: #648699 , Sun 13 May 12, 4:00AM |
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:: GaBBi
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
I actually would say that having 2 moms or dads is just too weird for kids. That'd mean bullying and so on at school. If not even worse things. I wouldn't really recommend it... sorry o.o
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Post: #649029 , Sun 13 May 12, 10:01PM |
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I think that gay people can be good parents. Some are great parents and should be allowed to adopt. Why should loving the same gender stop them taking a kid out of care into a loving stable home.
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Post: #649034 , Sun 13 May 12, 10:21PM |
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:: Omniglot
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
The question isn't so much whether gay people will make good parents - there's no real reason why they wouldn't (I can't think of one at least), but whether the kids will be bullied for it at school and so on. Once they learn to shake it off, then they'll be fine, but it seems to me that for some reason, bullies get a lot more aggravated about homosexuality than other things (I don't know, is that right? I think so at least...) so for a kid to have gay parents in the current sociological climate might not be the best childhood they could have....
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Post: #649054 , Mon 14 May 12, 12:03AM |
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One of my closer friends' mom is a lesbian (I would say two moms, but she really never sticks to the same person). And he lived in what was then a pretty homophobic area. You will find that it is much harder to bully someone about their parents than it is about themselves, especially if they have been close to their parents. Really it is up to you weather it is a good thing or a bad thing.
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Post: #649451 , Tue 15 May 12, 5:56PM |
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Maybe if you homeschooled them? Or if you could afford to send them to a prep or private school? Just my opinion 
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Post: #649604 , Wed 16 May 12, 3:05AM |
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I think that kids are going to be cruel no matter what the situation is. Whether it's body weight, height, interests it doesn't really matter. Some kids are just super cruel and just plain ol mean. Is it to cruel to have gay parents no. As long as they're not abusing the child in any way it's cool to have gay parents. Straight parents abuse their kids as well but that's a completely different topic.
Love is love, and no one has the right to surpress it to only striaght couples.
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Post: #649606 , Wed 16 May 12, 3:17AM |
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So if I have a big nose am I not going to have kids because their classmates might bully them for having an ugly mom? If I'm a ginger should I not have kids, because my kid might be a ginger and be made fun of for that? What if I'm black or hispanic or Chinese or have a stupid last name...?
Seems like a stupid argument, a way to give more power to the bullies and social conservatives and hold gay kids and families back.
One thing that I would do as a gay mom, though, is try my hardest to live in a place with good schools and a liberal atmosphere. I would be an advocate for my kid directly, but also indirectly, by living somewhere safe and comfortable for all of us.
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Post: #649706 , Wed 16 May 12, 4:18PM |
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