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Topic: Does "It" really "Get Better"?
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I'm sorry, but... I can't say I 100% support an organization that tries to guarentee something they can't.
I was bullied, but not by homophobes. A lot of the kids who were mean to me weren't homophobic at all, some may have even been gay. I was bullied for being "weird", "uncool", etc. So being gay had nothing to do with it, plus I stayed closeted.
The reason I became the typical depressed gay man?
Other gay men.
I've voiced displeasure with gay men before, I won't go on that route now, but... just being so mistreated by people I thought I had some common ground with. People using me as an object and not seeing me as a person. Once I got to know more gay men, the worse I became and more depressed.
And I'm seen as somewhat attractive, too. Not "hot", but one out of every... maybe 20? gay men seems to think I'm atleast slightly cute. I can't imagine what it'd be like if I were any less attractive. Nobody would probably even say hi to me.
So, unless this "It Gets Better" can make other gay men more accepting, tolerant, and nice people, they can't do anything for me.
End rant.
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Post: #646917  , Mon 7 May 12, 2:14PM |
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trust me I completely understand what your going through. Some gay guys can be just as if not catty as the girls. But at the same time there are guys that are really decent out there who you will be glad you met. So keep your head up you are not alone.
RoManze88
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Post: #646924 , Mon 7 May 12, 2:42PM |
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:: grum
:: QA Staff (Founder) | |
I think "it gets better" is just as much of a political message as it is intended to help young LGBT people. In a general sense, I believe "things" are getting better -- not everywhere, of course -- and government policy and social attitudes are generally improving. In that sense, I believe the It Gets Better Project tapped into a public mood, and a need, to encourage our LGBT friends, family and fellow citizens. It's been a great public awareness project.
On a personal level, however, the same message doesn't entirely ring true. When we were making the QA "It Gets Better' video, I ran into a breakaway project called "Make It Better" and, despite no-one having heard of it, its message is more powerful. In this life, my life, your life, things don't miraculously improve. Often, the onus will be on you to improve your own existence. That means being brave, understanding your own nature, and working hard. It means continually picking yourself up, dragging yourself out of whatever state you're in, and endeavouring to achieve something.
The gay world can be tricky for both those who find themselves at home in the scene, and for those of us who are outsiders. I'd regard myself as an outsider. I'm not a pretty boy, I hate the music in gay clubs, I don't feel like I have much in common with the inhabitants of the gay world. Trust me, though, there's lots of us. And we're all in different scenes. Geeks and indie kids, jocks and all-rounders.
Sometimes you'll have hurdles to overcome, like getting involved in something, or moving to the city, or going to university, or simply learning to be open about your sexuality. But you'll meet the people that you never thought existed, if you make it happen.
I wish the world was flat like the old days / And I could travel just by folding the map / No more airplanes or speed trains or freeways / There'd be no distance that could hold us back
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Post: #646944 , Mon 7 May 12, 3:17PM |
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:: Kuuipo
:: QA10 Community Goddess | |
Life only gets better if you want it too. If people don't treat you right, forget them. If someone only talks to you because you're 'cute', I really don't see the point of interacting with them. You need to surround yourself with people who make you happy, who make you feel welcomed, and who let you be who you want too be.
Life is tricky, there are so many twists and turns we have to take, and they either lead to a dead end or to a way out.
"The past can hurt. You can either run from it or learn from it." ~Rafiki
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss
~Clicking this link will bring you to a very special place and you should click it because click it.|
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Post: #646982 , Mon 7 May 12, 7:23PM |
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:: Falconfly
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
What the previous poster said. The LGBT community is gigantic; if people can't bother to treat you right, ditch them like empty bootles.
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Post: #647263 , Tue 8 May 12, 1:53PM |
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I'm sorry but how is it the projects fault if you were bullied? It gets better has already helped so many people and most everyone gets bullied. By the way, Dan Savage isn't selling you something, he can claim whatever he wants. Right now you sound bitter that his message hasn't reached everyone! No matter what, there will always be people (regardless of sexual orientation) who are just mean to others.
It gets better doesn't claim to magically fix your personal issues. What it does do is promise that if you want it to, it will get better. Sure, a lot of gay men are just as mean as a lot of straight ones, that just means your looking in the wrong place my friend.
So stop blaming a wonderful organization for failing to effect all 7 billion people on the planet and try supporting a good cause to help effect more.
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Post: #647270 , Tue 8 May 12, 2:14PM |
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:: grum
:: QA Staff (Founder) | |
I don't think the original poster blames It Gets Better, nor do I think he was as critical of the project as you were of him.
I wish the world was flat like the old days / And I could travel just by folding the map / No more airplanes or speed trains or freeways / There'd be no distance that could hold us back
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Post: #647281 , Tue 8 May 12, 3:06PM |
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I believe that YOU make it better. Your attitude towards bullies helps how you feel about them and as a result, how they feel about you.
I'm a Loiner, apparently...
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Post: #647282 , Tue 8 May 12, 3:10PM |
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I agree with what you're saying, but 90% of the times it does get at least a little bit better. I don't agree with the fact that almost all the videos give you a situation where it all gets 100% better. I also don't understand how straight people can endorse the message. I get that they want to support the cause, but I don't think that they should be telling us that it gets better when they haven't felt shit about it... I must admit the videos did help me through a hard time a while back, but now it's getting a bit out of hand.
42. That is all.
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Post: #650527 , Sun 20 May 12, 9:41AM |
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I think that the slogan "it gets better" is starting to become so overused that, in the near future, it's going to be considered a cliche to some people. I say this because more and more LGBT teens are seeing that it's not getting better for them and they're becoming more resistant to those three words.
But I do believe that life gets better, and it can get amazingly better. It's never going to be perfect, but the storm is never everlasting.
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Post: #656235 , Wed 13 Jun 12, 2:15AM |
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