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Mainpage » QA Forums » Starbucks » Topic: "No, I'M the top."

Topic: "No, I'M the top."

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Miles Send Miles a private message
:: Gayboi316
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
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Ok, so, I kinda have a confusing issue...
I'm talking to this guy who is three years younger than i am. He claims that HE is the dominant in our relationship, or whatever. However, i was told by my ex that he considered me to be an unwilling dominant, and that he was waiting for me to "man up". I was confused by this since my ex explicitly told me that i acted like "a chick", while it was "harder for people to tell" with him. Needless to say, this confused me a GREAT deal.
And so, i came to terms with being the dominant but then this guy throws me off by claiming that he's the dominant... I want to start being more dominant but i don't know how, or what, to say to him.
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  Post: #643159 Link to this post, Wed 25 Apr 12, 1:25PM
Katie Send Katie a private message
:: Cutie165
:: QA10 Community Goddess
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I don't think that the labels matter. When you have been with someone for a while it will all fall into place. You don't have to decide until that moment. It will all just occur naturally. Emoticon: Smile :)
I have this problem with most of the relationships I've had and it all just fell into place after a little bit of time. Emoticon: Smile :)
just give me a reason/just a little bit's enough/just a second, we're not broken/just bent we can learn to love again/oh, it's in the stars/it's been written in the scars on our hearts/we're not broken/just bent we can learn to love again.
  Post: #643160 Link to this post, Wed 25 Apr 12, 1:31PM
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:: Tiara
:: QA9 Grand Elder
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I agree with the person above.
  Post: #643164 Link to this post, Wed 25 Apr 12, 2:55PM
Kai Send Kai a private message
:: LoveisLove
:: QA10 Community God
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I agree with Shontai too.

Also, don't be afraid to make compromises if both of you are pretty dominant. Compromise in general is pretty good in a relationship, you know? Emoticon: Smile :) For the most part it'll work itself out, but you might have to discuss a few things. No biggie.
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  Edit: LoveisLove, Wed 25 Apr 12, 3:30PM
Post: #643165 Link to this post, Wed 25 Apr 12, 3:30PM
Michael Send Michael a private message
:: dragoonlove
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
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Let him have sum fun as the 'dom'. Express yourself, moan, say I love you, whatever the guy likes. In sex, one must submit a little to their partner. However, when it comes around to being your turn, go to town. Keep in mind the way he likes it, but don't try to impress anyone.
  Post: #643169 Link to this post, Wed 25 Apr 12, 3:54PM
Megan Send Megan a private message
:: RainbowEater
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round
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You shouldn't have to force dominance, you should be able to let roles come natural with someone. In my relationship, I'm definitely the "man," as some people would say. I don't cry, I'm hard headed, and I don't ask for directions. Ha ha. My wife on the other hand, is much more forward about her feelings, she's much more feminine as far as mind-set goes. I control the money, I pay the bills. But, in the bedroom, she's very much more dominant, where as, I am more dominant outside the bedroom. And that's just how it is naturally, we don't plan or try. You should be able to be natural with someone, not force yourself to fight for control. Just my opinion. Emoticon: Smile :)
MegaNicole
  Post: #643441 Link to this post, Thu 26 Apr 12, 5:35AM
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:: dancing_ninja
:: QA9 Grand Elder
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If you're in a relationship with someone of the same sex, why should either one of you have to emasculate or feminize yourself to fit the standard dynamic of a heterosexual relationship?
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  Post: #643446 Link to this post, Thu 26 Apr 12, 6:39AM
Shy Send Shy a private message
:: xdarkdatax
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
Actually, you could think about it this way: If you don't feel like the dominant one then chances are you aren't the dominant one. But...
if the other one is trying so hard to be dominant and says he's the dominant one, chances are he's not (because he's trying so hard to be).

I think you should just do what feels natural in the relationship, in some respects, he might be the dominant one and in others you might be. It depends, I suppose.
  Post: #643599 Link to this post, Thu 26 Apr 12, 11:00PM
Irene Send Irene a private message
:: AZNReign803
:: QA7 Taking responsibility
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I think it really just depends on the relationship itself. It can change depending on who you're with.
  Post: #643615 Link to this post, Thu 26 Apr 12, 11:35PM
edog16 Send Cancelled by user a private message
:: edog16
:: QA3 Getting cosy
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I don't really care , what ever my bf wants !
  Post: #651501 Link to this post, Thu 24 May 12, 11:51PM
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