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Topic: Asked out just because you're gay?
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Moved from Starbucks to Queer Thinking. |
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I've heard that when you come out, sometimes people of the same sex will want to go out with you, not because they like you, but because they are bi curious and have no one else to try it out with. Does this actually happen very often? Aren't they kind of, in a way, using you?
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.” ― Khalil Gibran
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Post: #642696  , Mon 23 Apr 12, 11:16PM |
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Yep, I've had that happen ... doesn't feel good. I don't deal with that mess.
I love you! Yeah, you! Thanks for being you!
“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.” --TECUMSEH
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Post: #642697 , Mon 23 Apr 12, 11:18PM |
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Yep... It hurts to be used as an experiment. It's because of this I only go out with lesbians that are out so I can avoid it... Someone's dumped me for a guy before and it was like a punch in the gut... So now I'm sad to say that I'm sort of scared of bis because of that experience. I know it's not fair, but I kind of can't get over that memory juyst yet...
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Post: #642714 , Mon 23 Apr 12, 11:59PM |
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So if there's no other lesbians in my school I guess I'm screwed until college:/ no one in my school (that I know of) has come out, and I'm thinking of coming out, but this thought (the initial posted question) came to mind.
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.” ― Khalil Gibran
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Post: #642722 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 12:25AM |
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:: Puff
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I was with a guy who wasn't fully sure before and he kinda wanted to see. He ended up straight and we are still good friends  And I have kissed a few straight guys cos they just wanted to see what it was like. Just not for them unfortunately  While it obviously wouldn't be nice if you had genuine feeling for your partner and they were only experimenting, I've gone in before knowing they were just experimenting and had fun with it if nothing else. I know that's not always what people want, and it isn't what I want in my current situation either but I love being a slut sometimes ;)
If you're in any way worried, then don't get in a full relationship with a curios person. I wouldn't rule out bi's but be careful I suppose. And even if it doesn't go to plan, at least you may have helped them try and find more of themselves. I know I had a very hard time trying to figure out my sexuality 
Oh, and ignore my being a slut advice ;) x
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Post: #642723 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 12:25AM |
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Tom: that's actually a really cool way of looking at it. I guess as long as you know they're experimenting and as long as you don't get to caught up in it, it could be okay. And at the same time it let's you experiment yourself; find what kind of person your interested and compatible with. Thanks for the input, I'll be sure to keep it in mind.
P.S. It's okay, everyone's entitled to act that way sometimes I just went on vacation not too long ago and I think I crushed on like five girls there xD
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.” ― Khalil Gibran
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Post: #642740 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 12:45AM |
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Yeah... it's so annoying :/ I can usually tell from the start with those people so I'll say no or whatever.
To see us dance is to hear our hearts speak- Hopi Indian saying
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Post: #642742 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 12:46AM |
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:: Puff
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
Being a heartless typical stereotypical guy I suppose it works for me Bitch Please ;) Come back to me when you get with someone for a place on their couch
Again unfairness, I'm a guy (Technically ) so player, not slut 
And in relation to you coming out, I'd recommend it B And then other lesbians that you mightn't know about or even curious but scared might come out. Or what if there is a lesbian and doesn't want to go with someone who is scared or just experimenting and is worrying about the same thing as you?  Btw, yes I creeped your profile.... From the limited information I gathered, I think coming out would be great relief Although be prepared for the odd I suppose, less than savory individual From my experience they seem very, very irregular but maybe I've just been lucky
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Post: #642747 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 12:56AM |
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Yeah, that seems to happen alot. I've had it happen to me. Not very nice feeling :/
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Post: #642750 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 1:08AM |
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Geez, I guess this is more common than I thought. I'll be sure to keep an eye out; learn their motives before getting too cozy
Tom: Haha, that's what profiles are for There's not really that much on my profile to 'creep', but still xD
I am going to come out, just casually though. Like of it comes up in conversation, not running down the halls screaming "IM FREAKIN QUEER!" (though I think it would be a funny 'coming out' story to tell the kids xD). Telling people is a real weight off the shoulders, not to mention I love some of the reactions:3 Not really worried about people talking about me, so that's not an issue.
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.” ― Khalil Gibran
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Post: #642763 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 1:42AM |
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:: Puff
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
"though I think it would be a funny 'coming out' story to tell the kids xD"
I don't think you fuly understand how this whole being gay thing works yet ;)
Oh, I'm the same. However word does travel, for better or worse All my friends know obviously and most of the people in my school know. I don't care whether people know or not... Unless they're gay and pretty ;)
Wait till you get the prove it reaction I LOVE that one ;) x
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Post: #642765 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 1:47AM |
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"Don't get the whole being gay thing" ahaha -elbows you- xD
That's kinda what I'm thinking; just let word spread. I think I would actually have my day made if I had to prove it ;D
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.” ― Khalil Gibran
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Post: #642772 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:03AM |
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:: Xeffy
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
Yeah ive had this happen a few times... There are even two guys at school who want my bawwwllls but they're not my type.
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Edit: Xeffy, Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:15AM
Post: #642777 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:15AM |
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its kinda happened a couple times, but I never went out or did anything with those girls so its whatever.
I felt like shit though. with the second girl I felt so broken when she suddenly stopped flirting with me and went back to her ex boyfriend who ended up getting her pregnant.
ackk, so many regrets.
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Post: #642780 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:20AM |
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:: Puff
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
Personally when some people I was slightly worried about finding out found out, it was a major lift. Like my football team and such. Now there are footies or me tagged from two weeks ago improv dressed at a Grease themed 30th as a borderline drag queen from the clothes I was given. Turn up looking like a guy babe ;) Went home.... Not so much So much easier for me being able to be fully open about everything. Oh, and I do love just exaggerating the gay thing sometimes like that and knowing nobody will really question it
It made my night as well a while ago ;) Twisted a bit on vodka but it was fun x
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Post: #642784 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:27AM |
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Xeff: geez, well at the least it's a confidence boost:3
Sammy: that's actually really screwed up for someone to do:'( The things some people do really frustrate me sometimes
Tom: Haha, sounds like you have really cool friends! I hope my friends turn out just as accepting. The only ones I'm really worried about finding out are my dad (who doesn't really approve that kind of stuff) and my crush (who has caught me staring a few times. I feel like she's going to realize why I stare at her so much, which she probably will; basically admitting my crush to her by coming out)
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.” ― Khalil Gibran
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Edit: FromtheHeart, Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:38AM
Post: #642786 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:33AM |
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:: Puff
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I am convinced I'm only gay because of one of my friends.... Ruining my innocence about a year ago The sluh....
I don't know about your dad unfortunately, luckily for me my parents aren't really too caring, well in any department tbh
This is where it's finally getting interesting ;) Btw, I love gossip so you have to tell me everything You never know who's could be a secret lesbian ;)
Or you could always do what I do with guys, gay or straight... Get them drunk and just kiss them and see ;) x
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Post: #642791 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:42AM |
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:: LadyKevin
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
My first girlfriend, I think.. I mean, she was awesome and all, and she's still one of my best friends, but I some times I think she just wanted a girl, not particularly me. She flirted with her ex-boyfriend the whole time. :/
And I could be wrong, but that's what it felt like.
Lets dance to Joy Division.
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Post: #642792 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:57AM |
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Tom: I find it funny that we're basically filling up this forum with our back and forth conversation xD I suppose forums are for conversations with others though so whatever
I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to figure it out (assuming I would be smart enough to connect the dots eventually), but I think a year or two ago I stumbled across a lesbian short story. It was odd at first, but strangely enough I liked it. I read more, and eventually I began to wonder about myself...
I don't think my dad would go over the top "disowning" me freak out, but I don't think he would really like or accept it. We have a family friend that got out of a bad divorce and decided to date a girl. Coincidently, once that happened my dad no longer wants to visit them
The girl I dig, she's got the total scene/light punk look (which I really find sexy on a girl;D) but she's also very smart; I have the sinking feeling she would connect the dots, and while there is the chance she could be at least bi (the interests section is blank in her fb profile and she seems very open minded) I don't want to make her uncomfortable or freak her out:/
P.S. too shy and anti social to "get people drunk and make out with them, then go from there" but it sounds like a good time xD
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.” ― Khalil Gibran
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Post: #642793 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 2:57AM |
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:: Puff
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
Again I don't know him so I couldn't say but in my experience, a lot of people who you think might react are cool. One of the guys I work with for example I was nervous about telling, basically was always asking me if I had a girlfriend, just saw the way I got on with girls around, and is a quite religious Muslim. He is absolutely fine with it. In fact he pretty much respects me more for it Again though, your judgement call But remember it's for you, not him, all you are doing is telling him the truth of what is already there
OMG.... I ADORE that look on girls... What colour hair?!?!?!  Are you friends with her in any way? I saw just go kiss her but again, ignore me, ALWAYS 
If she seems open-minded, then I doubt it will make it uncomfortable, people can't help how they feel about others sometimes and I'm sure she'll understand I know four of my girlfriends THINK they are in love with me properly but they don't know that I can see it One of them is though and it's not really fair tbh Although all four have slept in my bed on different occasions, two dropping the paw Of course I stopped them, said no and kissed them goodnight... I'm such a slut sometimes ;)
Fine I have another solution... Get them drunk, go up very close, small kiss and hands down the pants... That's what I do with some guys when I see they were looking at me Mind you, I am usually absolutely twisted myself at this point during the night.... ;)
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Post: #642799 , Tue 24 Apr 12, 3:14AM |
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