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Topic: Genderqueer/FTM biologically female people, hi :P
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:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
Hey there guys and non-binary childs, I have a question, mostly for FTMs but not exclusively.
So, you were born female, but don't feel female, yes? How are you dealing with/fixing that, or how would you if you could? Like, is anyone going on T or getting surgery, or are you happy with just wearing "boys' clothes" and binding, and maybe cutting your hair? Is there any reason you wouldn't go on T/get surgery? If you aren't completely FTM, is there something about being girl that you can't give up, or is it something about being male that pushes you away?
Not trying to be invasive or anything, just wanted to know what other people were thinking, because I've been having conflicting opinions on everything and would like to know another's outlook. Anything on the subject would be appreciated if shared  (really, anything).
PS I guess that's more than one question, but oh well 
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o
"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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Post: #627715  , Fri 16 Mar 12, 3:15AM |
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Well, I'm FTM. I'm completely closeted, but I've been thinking about coming out to my mother (but no one else) more and more often lately, as she seems the most accepting of people I know.
If I could, I'd get a guy haircut, guy clothes, and would bind my chest every day. But that's only short-term; I don't think I could only do that for my whole life. In the long-term, I want to go on T and get top surgery. I'm not sure about any sort of bottom surgery (phalloplasty, I think it's called), but I most likely won't get it. It's crazy expensive, and you risk losing most or all sensitivity "downstairs", and that's a pretty important place to have sensitivity. xD I do want top surgery, though, because I don't want to have to bind for my whole life. From what I hear, it puts a lot of stress on your back and limits some of the things you can do (no exercise while wearing a binder, for example). It's also important because having boobs causes all sorts of dysphoria, and I doubt binding will completely fix it 100% of the time.. As for T, I feel that it's a necessity. For me, at least. The voice change is incredibly important if I ever want to pass, because I have the most girly voice ever. Things like a more masculine build and facial hair/chest hair would just help me feel more comfortable in my own skin. It's important for the peace of mind.
..Well, I guess that's it. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.
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Post: #627723 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 5:15AM |
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:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
Well until you start T, http://www.transgendervoice.ne...linization.html
might be helpful for the voice problem. Other than that, thanks for the input 
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o
"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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Post: #627750 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 1:08PM |
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Hi Paulie,
I'm questioning and would be more than happy to answer your questions. For me, I never really felt one sex or the other. I suppose based on what society raised me to believe about gender, I felt emotionally female (for the most part), but physically male. But really, aren't there sensitive males as well?
So for me, the issues are more physical and to address the psychological in terms of having sex. Male clothing and bindings works fine to an extent. I think I'm fairly passable, but my the way my body fat is distributive gives me away and makes my life more difficult when attempting to pass. If you like the freedom of going back and forth and can't see yourself permanently one way or the other, T isn't for you, as many of the effects are irreversible. But for many, T and surgery are the only way to gain confidence with themselves. Personally, the only thing that I dislike about top surgery is the horrible scars, but if your fairly flat already, then you can get a diff operation that is virtually scarless. I'd never get bottom surgery because for one, it's insanely expensive, two- there's a very low success rate, and three- the surgical complications can be enormous.
The only thing that I think would be more difficult as a guy is family acceptance and still having predominantly female friends- but I don't think this will change much given my personality. I'm not too keen about being overly hairy or having my body odor change on T- but all those things are fixable. Here's some links below that you should find useful, specifically the second.
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/sto...=5#.T2Ks0GJSS8w
http://www.ftmguide.org/
Respectfully,
J
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Post: #627765 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 3:30PM |
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I'm going to kind-of answer this part
If you aren't completely FTM, is there something about being girl that you can't give up, or is it something about being male that pushes you away?
I've never particularly identified with either binary gender, so I wouldn't really say that there is a particular element about being perceived as a girl or a boy that's holding me back. I'll stay as I am because it would be a lot of effort to change, and generally speaking I don't think I would be any more or less comfortable.
There are some good things about being 'a girl'- but I also occasionally wish I was 'a boy' too.
I'm pretty happy just floating around in the middle really- that's the thing I most don't want to give up. Obviously there are problems where people don't understand, or sometimes (not too often) I really hate having to be segregated by gender and being classed as a girl.
But in many ways I get the best of both worlds; I wear cool, comfortable clothes; I don't have as much of the pressure to look thin and pretty and wear make-up, or the pressure to be tough and really physically strong that a lot of people my age experience; I don't have to wade through puddles of urine if I need to use a public toilet ; In a group of people I don't know very well I find that I can fit into conversations with groups of girls or groups of guys much more fluidly than most other people seem to; I don't get bitchy comments about being the only female hanging out with guys most of the time at school, whereas a lot of people seen as girls do...
Yeah, it can be pretty useful being neutral
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Post: #627768 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 3:46PM |
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Well since I'm genderqueer, I guess I'll try to answer some of it
For me, I emotionally/mentally/idkwhattocallit switch between "boy" and "girl" every couple of days.
There's nothing that I don't want to give up from being born female, since I'm quite a feminine guy. Hell, I wear more makeup as a guy than I do as a girl.
And nothing particularly pushing me away from being male.
Just when I think I'm gonna stay as one gender mentally/emotionally/istilldontknowwhattocallit I switch again.
It's kinda frustrating but you learn to live with it
Warning! This homosexual may provoke irrational anger when placed near closed minded & ignorant bigots.
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Edit: ClaritySugar, Fri 16 Mar 12, 4:10PM
Post: #627771 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 4:04PM |
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So, you were born female, but don't feel female, yes? How are you dealing with/fixing that, or how would you if you could? Like, is anyone going on T or getting, or are you happy with just wearing "boys' clothes" and binding, and maybe cutting your hair? Is there any reason you wouldn't go on T/get surgery?
When i was a kid, i didn't really have a problem with being a girl, i wore boys clothes and said i wanted to be a boy, but i didn't have an issue with being a girl. As i grew up i wanted to be a boy more and more, but i thought if i was born a girl i should just deal with it. I tried being a femme girl for around... 6 months? and i broke down. I ended up depressed and needing therapy for my "issues" - A year later and i've got rid of my hair, binding, wearing boys clothes 24/7. I'm in the process of changing my name, and i plan to go on testosterone and get top surgery in the future. Although im happy with what im doing now, ultimately i want to be able to go out in public and sound like a guy, look like a guy, be a guy. I need testosterone, and it feels like hell not to be able to have it for another two years!
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Edit: brokengoods, Fri 16 Mar 12, 4:16PM
Post: #627775 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 4:15PM |
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:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
@JL thanks for the input And the links, I found the second one a while ago and already went through it, but it's a good recommendation; the first link was also pretty informative, thanks
@Emma sounds like good times No worrying about surgery or hormones or legalities, seems pretty win. Thanks for sharing
@Taylor/Corinne I know how you feel on some of that-- I'd love makeup and nail polish and things if I were biologically male, but since it actually takes effort to "be" a guy, it's just not worth it, y'know? But that's interesting, that you go back and forth. Would be confusing though, I assume, for you and those around ya
@Thomas That sounds pretty familiar, I'm almost on the same page I think. Thanks for the post, and good luck with all that
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o
"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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Post: #627785 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 5:00PM |
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I felt like I just had to comment on this.
I remember not always feeling completely like a girl. I remember wondering what it would be like if I was a boy. Then, around last summer, I saw the word genderqueer and I instantly connected with it. I knew about FTM but when I saw what genderqueer meant, it fit me more. I really don't like being a girl to be honest, and maybe this whole genderqueer thing is a "stepping stone" into FTMness. But I feel like it fits me right now. Nothing from being male is holding me back, I mean, I don't think so, but.... yeah.
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings."
-Cassius, "Julius Caesar"
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Post: #627789 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 5:35PM |
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@Paulie It's pretty confusing for me, not so much my friends since only 3 of them know. They just call me Taylor anyway now so... Yeah.
I kinda have a "code" or something which I never noticed before but my friends have picked up on it. I wear a hair clip in my fringe when I'm "female" and nothing in my hair when I'm "male".
Thank god that hair clips exist, otherwise my friends would be totally and utterly confused.
Warning! This homosexual may provoke irrational anger when placed near closed minded & ignorant bigots.
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Post: #627842 , Fri 16 Mar 12, 10:27PM |
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:: Phoggy
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
@Logan same here, on pretty much all of that Only thing different is that I know of some things I'd be nervous about if I were to change sex-- like bathrooms, as little or odd as it may seem, I rather like sitting in that little stall, and would much prefer it to standing next to some other guy while... yeah... xS but then again, girls' bathrooms tend to have annoying chatters or mirror-addicts...
@Taylor/Corinne That's a cool code, yay for hair clips!
Confession: I really, really freaking love glitter. SHH! o.o
"I know... that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend, who just happens to have an Adam's Apple."
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/786939/
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Post: #628060 , Sat 17 Mar 12, 8:40PM |
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:: Tiara
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
I'm genderqueer as well. Not dealing with it in anyway. I'm a track pants and t shirt kind of person anyway. For a couple months I thought I was full out trans and was going to come out. But then I started feeling girl-like again so whatever haha. There's nothing about being a girl that I can't give up. Maybe my small hands. I don't know. There's nothing about beig male that pushes me away either. I just don't want to be a transguy if I'm fine in the body I have now. I do think I'll get a breast reduction one day though. They make me feel worse when I'm disphoric.
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Post: #628078 , Sat 17 Mar 12, 10:16PM |
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