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Topic: Will you wait?
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So I just found out that the reason Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are not married is because they want to wait until everyone can get married, gays included. Which got me to thinking, will any of you wait too? I'm trying to think if I would, and I think I might. I mean, if we get married, isn't it kind of rubbing it in the faces of those who can't? I don't want to start any arguments here, just your thoughts. Would you wait?
~No one can make you feel inferior without your consent~
~We do what is heroic simply because it is needed~
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Post: #615354  , Wed 8 Feb 12, 3:29AM |
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I've thought about this a lot, and I think that I will. I don't remember where, but I heard someone compare getting married while gay marriage is illegal to joining a country club that only allows white people in it... I feel like that's pretty damn true. And while marriage has more benefits than joining a country club, that doesn't make it right to do it when there are people who are still barred from it.
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Post: #615357 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 3:33AM |
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I think it is admirable of a couple able to marry to wait because other couples are not able. However, I do not think I would wait. To me, marriage is a commitment that each couple gets to at their own pace, and for their own reasons. If they even want to go there, that is. While it makes a huge point to wait, I feel that other methods of activism produce similar reactions.
If I am to take the role of a person against marriage equality, a few straight couples protesting marriage until there is marriage for all would only give me ammo to lash out and say that gays ruin straight marriage.
Great question, Dezi. I'm excited to watch this conversation progress.
"You don't have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body."
- C.S. Lewis
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Post: #615369 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 3:52AM |
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This is an interesting idea. I've never really thought of that before and this is the first I've heard of it. It really does make sense though. I'm not sure if I would or not though.
@Kai - I've seen that too. I can't remember who it was but it was on the View. Theres a clip from it in "The Gay Rights Movement" video on youtube.
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.
"Rub that glitter and grease around"
~Lady Gaga
"I'm fierce and I'm feeling mighty. I'm a golden girl, I'm an aphrodite, alright!"
~Kylie Minogue
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Post: #615373 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 3:55AM |
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:: Zolin
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
In all honesty I wouldn't wait for something like that.
I mean, for starters I don't know if I would ever want to get married in the first place. But I'm pretty sure if I ever do want to get married I will. And nothing's going to stop me from that.
If I wait for the world to be perfect for me to be happy... I just don't think it works that way.
I mean, I would and probably will go to the manifestations and march down with my brothers and sisters, but I don't believe solidarity works that way.
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Post: #615379 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 4:56AM |
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Nope. Wouldn't wait. It may sound bad but if I'm gonna get married, I'm gonna get MARRIED. XD
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Post: #615380 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 4:58AM |
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Two of my (straight) friends are waiting until it's legal in Washington (as that's where they want to get married). It's a nice solidarity move, but honestly, I think it's nice for them that it's about to get legalized and they can go ahead and get married. I would like to be engaged for a little while before I get married, but I don't know that I would intentionally draw out that engagement (much) to wait for things to get legalized. If I were straight, that is. I haven't decided how I feel about getting ceremonially married to another girl without the legal bit, although... the wedding part might be nice too.
Hearts don't follow the rules of logic.
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Post: #615394 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 5:50AM |
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A few years ago I actually promised that I wouldn't marry, until same-sex marriage was legal in Denmark -and I was planning on keeping it! Now it has been legalized, or well.. Almost (as of spring 2012).
The reason I felt all right making that promise is because marrige to me personally means very little, and I didn't feel like I would be giving up on anything. So, no noble reason there, if I really wanted to marry I probably wouldn't have made that promise.
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Post: #615398 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 6:07AM |
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I love to hear stories about straight people who wait to get married.
But I, personally think I've waited long enough. Once gay marriage is legal and I'm ready to be married. I'l get married!
You will only expect a few words - what will those be? When the heart is full it may run over, but the real fullness stays within... Words can never tell you, however, - form them, transform them anyway, - how perfectly dear you are to me - perfectly dear to my heart and soul.
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Post: #615428 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 12:57PM |
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:: PDQ2
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
I would wait to get married. If it was legal in my state to do that I would still wait. I don't think it's fair.
Sometimes when I see LGBT I just can't help but to think BLT. My mom and I call it the BLT club. :P
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Post: #615437 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 4:37PM |
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:: Newpa
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I'd wait, marriage isnt as big of a deal to me as others and also i'd feel like I was rubbing it in to people who couldn't. I'm not sure i'd wait till everywhere allowed same sex marriage, i'd certainly wait till being LGBT was legal everywhere.
Cuz this is real life, oh no, you can't fight it, oh no,- LadyHawke
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Post: #615439 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 4:44PM |
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if i wanted to get married and it was legal, then i would. the opportunity has come up, and i want to take it. so i will.
i don't see a massive change on the brink that will happen if i don't take it.
i don't want to get married, and it's not legal here (yet?), but if i'm offered a cake, i'm gonna eat it. why not.
if i was a straight couple, then it may cause a change, but from my position, there's no point.
it will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end yet.
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Post: #615443 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 4:52PM |
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As nice as it is for them to wait, It kind of bothers me. They don't have to wait, that's why they're fine with waiting. If they said "hey, let's get married next week", They could. Whereas gay marriage isn't legalized everywhere yet.
I don't know. Marriage is far off for me, and... I'm single. So of course I don't know. But I'd doubt I'd wait, I mean, it's my marriage, I can fight about the un-equal-ness of the matter while married, just as much as I can engaged or single.
If there ever comes a day
when we can't be together keep me in your heart I'll be there forever.
-Winnie the Pooh
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Post: #615462 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 7:31PM |
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I have a pretty complex answer to this. I'll try to keep it short.
Waiting is a great idea. No doubt about that.
However I'm hesitant to say I would.
Most of the non-religious married people I know had a simple, small ceremony in a registry office. They weren't doing it for a massive party, but for legal reasons. For example, a (heterosexual) couple had been together for many years, had young children, the mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and they got married so that the father would be able to raise his own children without having to go through the system to adopt his own children. The law is stupid, a competent parent should be allowed to care for their own children without a marriage certificate, but that's not the point of this post.
I know a dying parent is an extreme case, but things like it do happen. As much as I'm not a fan of marriage, I would not hesitate to marry if I was in a situation like this. Its horrible that there are so many couples and families who don't have this option, and although it's great to stand with them and not get the rights for yourself until everyone can get them, my family would come first and if marriage was the best way to keep them safe and happy, I would do it in a heartbeat no matter where 'gay marriage' is legal.
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Post: #615464 , Wed 8 Feb 12, 7:49PM |
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I totally agree with what Kai said...
I feel like it's a wonderful thing when couples show support by doing this. I don't feel hostile to any couples that DO take advantage of gay marriage in their state... after all, it's wonderful that we seem to be making improvements at the present time. However, it's natural that we can't help but envy those who can get married while so many others are still barred from it.
Good topic.
When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free.
-Charles Evans Hughes
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Post: #615556 , Thu 9 Feb 12, 2:24AM |
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5 points for deep thought inducing topic!
Here's my view on marriage: Personally, I don't believe in marriage. I think it's a deeply religious ritual, contract, whatever you want to call it. I feel as if I don't need to spend money for someone to officialize my love for someone via a piece of paper, because that's what it is.
I do, however, much prefer the terms and conditions of a civil union. Something along the lines of a Common Law relationship (not sure if this has the same connotation everywhere else in the world). In this context, my significant other would be entitled to marriage privileges such as joint health insurance, owning a house together etc. I think marriage is completely unnecessary. A couple can be just as happy married or not.
Anyway.... back to the topic of discussion...
Gay marriage is legal everywhere in Canada. If I were to get married, I probably wouldn't wait for the rest of the world to have legalized same-sex marriages because realistically and unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen in our lifetime. I think we still have to be realistic in our approach. However, if I lived in the US, I think I would at least wait until my state recognized same-sex marriages and perhaps I would wait until it was legal in all of the US.
also, thanks to Jayne for making me my banner :) <3 |
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Post: #615600 , Thu 9 Feb 12, 3:54AM |
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Wait wait wait, I'm sure I'm interpreting this wrong, but are you asking gay people if they are going to wait for same-sex marriage to marry?
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Post: #615602 , Thu 9 Feb 12, 3:58AM |
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the question is, if gay marriage was legal for you where you live right now, but there still remained states where gay marriage was not legal, would you wait for those states to legalize gay marriage before you get married?
Or, adversely, if you were straight, would you wait for gay marriage to be legalized before you got married?
(this question makes so much more sense if asked to a straight person)
also, thanks to Jayne for making me my banner :) <3
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Post: #615603 , Thu 9 Feb 12, 4:01AM |
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:: ash2342
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I would wait, I know that m friend said that she'll wait until everyone can get married.
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Post: #615605 , Thu 9 Feb 12, 4:02AM |
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well, i think people would want us to marry if it was not only right, but also legal... i know we all wish it was legal everywhere.... but don't let it go to waste.... i smile when i think of gay couples getting married.... good for them, ya know? Maybe one day i will be just as lucky... but for now i am single haha.
There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot.
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Post: #650677 , Mon 21 May 12, 2:02AM |
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