:: Elliot
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
A pirate walks into bar with a steering wheel over his crotch. the bartender says to him, "Sir, you have a steering wheel over your crotch!" and the pirate says," Aye, it's driving me nuts!"
(please keep the jokes somewhat tasteful.)
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Post: #563955  , Thu 13 Oct 11, 5:33AM |
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What did one tampon say to another?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
(Pretty funny for a period joke, right?)
Idk if that was tasteful at all.....
I feel like I am obligated to have a signature..... But to tell you the truth I just don't give a fuck.
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Post: #563958 , Thu 13 Oct 11, 5:38AM |
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:: Elliot
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Splendid!
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Post: #564000 , Thu 13 Oct 11, 2:09PM |
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A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not an atheist."
Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a Christian."
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.
"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."
/)(\ *brohoof*
I am an osu! addict <3
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Post: #564004 , Thu 13 Oct 11, 2:16PM |
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"did it hurt?"
"What, falling from heaven?"
"No, when you fell from the slut tree and banged everyone down"
XDDDD HAHA
/)(\ *brohoof*
I am an osu! addict <3
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Post: #565572 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 12:15AM |
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:: Neddy
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
How many ears does Spock have?
Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.
Star trek jokes 
Whatever you are. Be a good one.
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Post: #565574 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 12:18AM |
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OMG I Love star treck jokes! So, a psychology teacher wanted to explain the three stages of anger. So he calls a random number and asks to speak to Alex. The answer "Sorry, he doesn't live here. Good night."
The second stage of anger. He calls the same number and asks to speak to Alex again. "I told you already, he doesn't live here! Now don't call again!"
Third (and final stage of anger). He called the same number yet again and asked the same thing. "(PROFUSE CURSING)"
A student asked to show the fourth stage of anger. He dials the same number and "Hey this is Alex. Did anyone call asking to speak to me?"
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Post: #565578 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 12:26AM |
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:: byoda
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Exactly."
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Post: #565581 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 12:30AM |
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i was wondering when someone would go there...
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Post: #565582 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 12:31AM |
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:: Neddy
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
Doctor who rules.
Another joke: That awkward moment when the Kool-aid Guy bursts through your wall. And you're drinking Capri Sun...
Whatever you are. Be a good one.
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Post: #565588 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 12:35AM |
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Two old lesbians were doing it on a park bench. One lesbian tells the other: "Take your glasses off, you're scratching my leg". The other says: "Put your glasses back on, you're licking the bench."
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Post: #565604 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 12:47AM |
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Silence will fall when the question is asked.
Uhm...
What do toilet paper and the Enterprise have in common?
They both circle around Uranus and pick up clingons.
Another Star Trek joke for ya. 
"It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately, it's about who you fall in love with." ~ Holly Holiday, Glee
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ~ Moulin Rouge
"When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, you find someone to carry you." ~ Firefly
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Post: #565633 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 1:33AM |
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no, not true. the enterprise does NOT hang around uranus. besides, seeing as how uranus is a gas giant, there is no surface on it, so no life that is ablee to communicate with the enterprise can live there. lol
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Post: #565678 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 3:34AM |
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:: Neddy
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
Paul. It's a joke dude T_T.
Another joke:
Math problems are the only place where you buy 60 watermelons and nobody questions you.
Whatever you are. Be a good one.
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Post: #565742 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 10:19AM |
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:: Neddy
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
Paul. It's a joke dude T_T.
Another joke:
Math problems are the only place where you buy 60 watermelons and nobody questions you.
Whatever you are. Be a good one.
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Post: #565774 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 12:56PM |
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:: Kholie36
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
What's the difference between a snowman and snowwoman?
Snowballs XD
"That's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life"-Chuck Palahniuk
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, Im afraid of widths."-Steven Wright
"One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it."-Mae West
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Post: #565844 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 8:19PM |
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:: oddgirl
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
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Post: #565853 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 9:08PM |
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A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. While searching around for them, he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room, and he found himself completely naked in the halls of the world's most powerful military organization HQ. But, luckily, no one was around to see him.
So, he ran as fast as he could to the elevator. When it arrived, it was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief and got in. When the doors opened on his floor, there was no one waiting outside. "This must be my lucky day," he said to himself. He was now only a few yards from his office.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. He heard the General's voice. There was no way he'd make it to his door in time, so he ducked into the closest office available, and found himself in the laboratory for Research & Development. The Head Scientist looked up from one of her experiments with puzzled interest.
The soldier thought quickly, stood up straight and saluted.
"I am here to report the partial success of the Personal Invisibility Device," he said.
"I see," the Head Scientist said. "But the Shrink Ray seems to be working perfectly."
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Post: #565858 , Thu 20 Oct 11, 9:44PM |
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Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg?
He's all-right now!
Lame I know. But I couldn't stop laughing when I heard it XD
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Post: #568590 , Fri 28 Oct 11, 11:11AM |
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
You know
You-know-who?
That's right, Avada Kedavra!
Harry Potter joke <3
Lose your heart in Wonderland
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Edit: Violet_Dreams, Fri 28 Oct 11, 1:45PM
Post: #568611 , Fri 28 Oct 11, 1:45PM |
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Milwaukee Pride 2013
Dying my hair!
Lily Helena Knight
Things that grow
My new life
The Homophobic Me
![Paul is kicking butt and taking names, indefinitely [Avatar]](images/?img=avatars/14622wee.jpg?i=5){kind=small}
![Michelle is thinking about her immense attraction to a certain girl in her college....., indefinitely [Avatar]](images/?img=avatars/8665wee.jpg?i=0){kind=small}
![Sophia is in Wonderland, indefinitely [Avatar]](images/?img=avatars/14910wee.jpg?i=0){kind=small}
