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Mainpage » QA Forums » Starbucks » Topic: Confused.

Topic: Confused.

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Tenacity/Nate

:: Tenacity
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!

There's always some point at which everyone is confused..... right? I haven't seriously told anyone about my self doubts before. I'm comfortable being a girl. I like my body, it all seems natural and normal, I suppose.

But.. there's this nagging feeling that maybe I shouldn't be this way. A tiny voice in the back of my head. I can't figure out if it's just that I am most attracted to homosexual boys,and I just want a chance of them liking me, or if I actually don't feel like I should be a girl.

I always feel like I'm going after bisexual boys because deep down I want to be a boy. I can't tell though.

If anyone has experience feeling this way, I'd like to know. Any thoughts or suggestions that you think might help would be great too.

"It's really not about being gay or ungay, it's about being yourself in a patriarchal, heterocentric, heteronormative, monotheistic world. It's always the changing question and answer..." Bianca Casady of CocoRosie

Post: #522479

, Mon 27 Jun 11, 7:49AM

Leward

:: technobecian
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round

I kind of feel similarly. While I'm pretty much fine with being a guy and all, there's this part of me that would rather be a girl. I don't know if it's genuine, or just so that more guys might like me.

And then one of the things that crosses my mind is this: There are people who've struggled with their gender their whole life. Who knew from the start that it was all wrong. I don't know that I really went through that. I feel like calling myself transgendered would sort of be like... stepping all over their feelings, if that makes any sense.

But then, I'm probably wrong about all that. Some people probably don't realize it as soon as others do.

Post: #522484

, Mon 27 Jun 11, 8:05AM

Tenacity/Nate

:: Tenacity
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!

I feel selfish because I have what so many other people want, and I kinda just want to throw it away.

I know what you mean about feeling like you'd be stepping on peoples feelings.

Post: #522597

, Mon 27 Jun 11, 8:29PM

Andrew

:: sweetguy1992
:: QA1 Just in

i am so confused i like GUYS and girls but i don't know if i like one better than the other!

Post: #522599

, Mon 27 Jun 11, 8:36PM

Emma

:: LetMeSee...
:: QA10 Community God

Gender isn't black and white.

Gender isn't sex.

You can be anywhere and/or everywhere in the massive grey area in between, and you don't even need to have a fixed position.

Have you explored terms like third gender, genderqueer, genderfuck(ed), genderfluid...?

Basically, you can be any gender and have any kind of body.

There are plenty of identified women around who are comfortable in having a male body, and visa versa.

There are genderqueer transsexuals, there are people who are boys one day and girls the next.

It's a pretty different way of thinking, because everything from the second we're born is "boy OR girl". Altering your mindset can take some time, because "both" and "neither" aren't usually gender options we're brought up with; but they do exist.

Explore your options and learn to go with how you feel. Take some time with it, and especially don't rush for a label.

Good luck with it!

Post: #522601

, Mon 27 Jun 11, 8:42PM

Kap33

:: Kap33
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round

I kind of feel the same, just as Leward. Yet its a little different. I remember when i was a kid (like 8 or 9) i would always pretend I was a girl and when i was like 7 i asked my mom why i wont get boobs. As time went on i obviously understood why, and i just kinda accept it now. But every once and i while i think "Why wasnt I just born a girl?" but most of the time i fell comfortable about being a boy. Now that i know all these terms I'm still really confused. its hard to think that you can be both, when from the day you a re born you are taught that there is no in between. Actually mine is a lot different, but might as well share it anyway.

Post: #522606

, Mon 27 Jun 11, 9:09PM

Christoffer

:: Alex92
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!

Yeah, I agree with Emma.

Anyways; I'm not gonna tell you what you are, but going by my own experiences being ftm? I think you'd know. I feel like since you have thought about it and know what it is and know that it's an option; if you were ftm you would probably know by now. Of course I can't speak for all transsexual people, but I know that for me my body has always felt wrong to the point where I showered in the dark and that I felt completely and utterly unable to be happy or function around other people when I was still presenting female. It was literally completely disabling and I have failed classes in school as a result.

Again, though, I'm not saying you could never be ftm. Just trying to share my own experiences. I also think that it's normal to question yourself.

Post: #522639

, Tue 28 Jun 11, 12:05AM

Leward

:: technobecian
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round

Well, I'm not saying there were incidences when I was younger that suggest I could be transgender. I wore a dress once. I was into some girly stuff, like Cardcaptors. I asked my parents what my name would've been if I had been a girl.

But I can't quite tell if all of that stuff is just being girly or being a girl. Gender identity vs. gender expression, I suppose.

Post: #522661

, Tue 28 Jun 11, 12:55AM

Tenacity/Nate

:: Tenacity
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!

Thanks everyone!
I've started exploring being genderfluid and I', liking it. I feel morecomfortable now than I ever did before.

Post: #560897

, Mon 3 Oct 11, 1:48AM

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