a guitar in the corner
holds songs on its hips.
in the grain of its wood
my lyrics sing,
never heard outside
I lock them in.
tuck them safe
between metal strings.
calloused fingertips strum
clumsy chords.
unaware of teachers,
afraid of voice.
my hand cradles the neck,
balancing the wood
against my chest.
the words ache
as the walls listen.
-A
"I am thirty two flavors and then some"
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Post: #506102  , Tue 10 May 11, 4:30AM |
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nothing?
-A
"I am thirty two flavors and then some"
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Post: #506113 , Tue 10 May 11, 5:10AM |
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:: Lynn
:: QA10 Community Goddess | |
I really liked it. Maybe it was only this line that seemed odd to me, "my lyrics sing," Since you are trying to almost personify the guitar already. It just seemed a little out of place.
Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Love is the poetry of the senses. ~Honoré de Balzac
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Post: #506114 , Tue 10 May 11, 5:16AM |
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thanks! your advice is much appreciated 
-A
"I am thirty two flavors and then some"
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Post: #506157 , Tue 10 May 11, 2:23PM |
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:: Emms
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
Nah I think that line fits.... for me it's how I feel when I hurting and I'm trying to trite a song but it's just not happening for me...
I don't know if thats what you were trying to portray but that is how it sounded to me
And I really LOVE it...
A Life lived in fear is a life half lived...
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Post: #506342 , Tue 10 May 11, 9:46PM |
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^^ I really love this.
And I agree with Emma. The line works. It's called synesthisia. Mixing senses. It's just a bit of thinking.
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Post: #506363 , Tue 10 May 11, 10:11PM |
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thanks I like the line too mostly because I was trying to not only personify the guitar but personify it as myself, like the guitar and me were the same so to me it seems to fit?
-A
"I am thirty two flavors and then some"
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Post: #506431 , Tue 10 May 11, 11:20PM |
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That one life-long scar...
Three's A Crowd... or is it?
Lily Helena Knight
Things that grow
Just so.
My new life
Trip to the zoo!
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