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Mainpage » QA Forums » Queer Thinking » Topic: Heterophobia

Topic: Heterophobia

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:: ShezzaMezza
:: QA3 Getting cosy
I was wondering, does anyone here have, believe in or has heard of hetrophobia? I'm sure I'm hetrophobic.
Like I watch glee, and automatically cringe and look away when a guy and girl kiss (I do that whenever a guy and girl kiss. It's weird), but when two girls start making out I watch, and I have seriously watched the two guys kiss over and over again.
I read fanfiction and stop reading when it gets to heterosexual sex, but I'll read detailed descriptions of homosexual sex. (sorry TMI).
Most of all, I'm gender fluid, and would only consider dating a girl in girl mode (which isn't often), but I usually see myself as a gay guy who wouldn't go out with a girl.
Any advice, stories, help? In this hetronormative world, I find it hard to go through everyday life like this. I need to look at something gay to get through most days.
P. S. I'm pansexual.
No matter gay, straight or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life,
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  Post: #500482 Link to this post, Mon 25 Apr 11, 12:45PM
:: tardtasticx
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
Sam Life goal is to learn how to do the Single Ladies dance. <3, indefinitely [Avatar]
Yeh I find it gross seeing a guy kiss a girl. But thats probably because I dont find it hot. I don't have a problem with it. Lol.
  Post: #500510 Link to this post, Mon 25 Apr 11, 1:52PM
M Send M a private message
:: Emms
:: QA9 Grand Elder
M is on a mission, indefinitely [Avatar]
I find it as a huge turn off to se a hetrosexual couple do their thing in real life... on TV Its okay for me..

(Kissing and cuddleing, I dont watch them have sex... just for the record)

I kind of get worked up; angry, and uncomfortable when i see 'boy kissing girl, girl giggles when boy grips her ass...' I think I;ve built up a slight hate, because I dont find Hetro love beautiful anymore...

The reason I dislike it so much is because Hetro couples can practicaly almost have sex in the middle of the mall and poeple wont even glance their way...

Straight friends, girls mainly can hug, give pecks or even hold hands and it still fine....

But the minute I take my girlfriend's hand or hold her around the waist... Wisper something in her ear... Make her laugh, (Not even close to a simple kiss)poeple's heads turn to such an extent that some even walk into objects...

Is that necisarey? The best is I live in a completly democratic, 'equality for all' country, I live in the Rainbow nation for goodness sake! Yet this happens as if it's a shame... How do people deal with this in countries where it is slightly more of a taboo?

And despite us laughing about how people trip over imobile objects or walk into pillars (It is funny) It annoys me at the same time...

So yes, I think I might have a slight form of 'Hetrophobia', not because I believe hetro is wrong but becuase I'm feeling the unjust...
A Life lived in fear is a life half lived...
  Post: #500519 Link to this post, Mon 25 Apr 11, 2:10PM
:: Marcel24
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
QA Member's Avatar
I have no problem with it...although im not too keen on watching a movie where they do it. Thats just nauseating. I agree with emma though. Heterosexual love has become an overrated joke.
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  Post: #502335 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 1:54PM
:: Teddy1992
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
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I don't think Im heterophobic but I do get really creeped out when a guy hits on me, if that counts...
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  Post: #502339 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 1:57PM
:: F_I_N_E_93
:: QA8 High Householder
I personally don't like seeing that stuff either. I kinda cringe, & I'm definitely not comfortable with it, but I just keep in mind that some people are uncomfortable seeing gay couples kiss. So I just try to live with it.
Hide nothing, for time, which sees all and hears all, exposes all. -Sophocles

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare
  Post: #502344 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 2:04PM
:: 6ofclubs
:: QA8 High Householder
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i guess i'm kind of asexual when i see a couple from any orientation.
i'm just kinda meh.
it doesn't gross me out or turn me on.
so i say this next part in a completely non sexual way.
i'd still rather rather see a gay couple over a hetrosexual couple.
doesn't matter if they are kissing or holding hands or if they are just obviously gay and together in public.
it just kind of makes me happy to see a gay couple.
its like a feeling of not being alone like there are other people out there that are like me.

i don't know. i guess its kinda hard to explain.
but if that makes me a hetrophob, oh well.
i still prefer to be with gay or at least non narrow minded straight.
but i'm sure all of us here on QA do and i think i'm just rambling now, sorry. Emoticon: Smile :) Emoticon: Rainbow Pride (p)
  Post: #502625 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 9:50PM
:: HouseOfWolves
:: QA7 Taking responsibility
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I think I'm a little bit hetrophobic. :/ I think I always have been. Seeing a guy kissing a girl in a movie always makes me uncomfortable. I usually look away and it's just awkward. In real life it's even more awkward and I pretend to ignore it. I give my friends weird looks and don't get it when they talk about guys. (Unless it's guys from bands... that's different.) Straight porn, to be honest, makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can't read about straight sex... well, I can, but I'm kind of cringing the whole time. But yeah, I can happily read explicit slash fiction with same sex pairings without any awkwardness.

It's kind of funny because my straight (and religious) friends all talk about how unnatural homosexuality is and how they just don't get how people can be attracted to the same sex, and I'm the exact opposite.
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  Post: #502635 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 9:59PM
:: PrayersInChair
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
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I'm not but I do prefer to see gay and lesbian couples, out in public or even in movies and stories.
It's just because I relate better while reading stories.

To be honest.. I don't like seeing any one holding hands or kiss. I'm not a prude by any means, I'll say that much, I just don't like seeing people give affection to their partner in public.
  Post: #502636 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 9:59PM
:: Alex92
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
I wouldn't say I'm heterophobic, but I definitely prefer reading/watching gay stuff. Though if it's a straight relationship where one person is trans then I love it. That almost never happens though.
  Post: #502637 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 10:00PM
:: PensiveFruit
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
Haha yeah I get so grossed out when I see hetero couples in the halls at school...ew. Thank God I'm not the only one =)
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  Post: #502640 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 10:06PM
:: Coolcutelily
:: QA3 Getting cosy
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Well, I'm obviously not. I don't cringe if a guy/guy kiss, girl/girl, or guy/girl. To me it's all love and its sweet to see couples together loving eachother. No matter the person they still all have feelings and emotions.
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  Post: #502642 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 10:07PM
:: 6ofclubs
:: QA8 High Householder
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i have to agree Alexander. it is pretty awesome to see a couple if one or both are trans. but i guess i'm just a little bias anyway. Emoticon: Smile :)
  Post: #502643 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 10:08PM
:: Toxic9
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
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I think a lot of this 'hetrophobia' stems from our own insecurities with ourselves, myself included. We feel hurt and ashamed of ourselves deep down because society doesn't think it's okay for us to be in a relationship with the same sex. While it is easy to say that what other people think doesn't matter, it is entirely different to put it into practice.

Another reason could be because we do not understand it, just as they do not understand how a man can love a man, or a woman a woman. We simply do not identify, so it makes us uncomfortable. After all, people fear what they do not understand, and fear leads to stigma.
  Post: #502651 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 10:11PM
:: cheesecake22
:: QA10 Community Goddess
Lisa is happy, indefinitely [Avatar]
It's actually opposite for me. I think I'm comfortable with almost all forms of affection, and I think the only time it differs is when a couple of any combo of genders is being vulgar or inappropriate to a nasty degree.

But, I tend to understand where heterophobia comes from in the gay community. Because as a fluid trans person I tend to have this problem with very stereotype-conforming people---stereotypical males more than females, but really anyone who'll use "But you're a girl/guy" as an excuse for themselves or others. I totally get it.

Mainly, it's just because you don't understand it yourself, because your world view is different. But I'm sure self-conscious feelings can attribute as well.
You're stubborn, hard headed, sheltered, impatient, angry, and altogether you irritate and frustrate me more than anyone else on the planet. I love you.
  Post: #502657 Link to this post, Fri 29 Apr 11, 10:22PM
:: Meganwho?-ohme
:: QA9 Grand Elder
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i get that feeling too but you know some feelings you just have to brush off. sometimes u cant avoid to cringe at straight couple kissing but i dnt think that automatically makes u a heterophobe. as long as u dnt have a huge prob with it.

sometimes i feel that way and other i just dnt care about their genders. i write some stories where the main people are straight. and i try to write it just as loving as i would a gay couple. but it dose feel different b/c i can't rlly connect with it.
  Post: #504626 Link to this post, Thu 5 May 11, 2:27PM
:: winter29
:: QA2 Settling in
Winter is babysitting a three year old for the weekend [Avatar]
I always just feel really awkward whenever i see a guy and girl kiss. i have no idea why though.
  Post: #504638 Link to this post, Thu 5 May 11, 4:28PM
:: ShezzaMezza
:: QA3 Getting cosy
Thanks guys (and girls)!
Yeah, most of you are describing how I feel. Like anytime a straight couple kisses on television/in a movie, I cringe/turn away/cover my eyes, but I watch and rewatch (even actively seek out) same-sex couples kissing. (GO KLAINE!).
It's nice to know I'm not crazy, or alone in my feelings.

Shawn Emoticon: Tongue :p
No matter gay, straight or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life,
I'm on the right track,
Baby, I was born to survive!
  Post: #504847 Link to this post, Fri 6 May 11, 7:53AM
:: bellababy
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
QA Member's Avatar
I used to think I was straight but even then I really didn't want to see them doing all that.

I don't like that they grope in public. If any type of gay couple does that around here its as bad as flashing old ladies or peeping in windows.
Yeah they talk about her She smiles like shes so tough She says "hey can you talk a little louder, I don't think my heart is broken enough"
  Post: #504851 Link to this post, Fri 6 May 11, 8:12AM
:: notcoolbro
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
QA Member's Avatar
in a way i am a heterophobic, as in i can sometimes be honestly SCARED of heterosexual males, but then again i live in Texas, where i could easily be killed for being gay with no second thought from anyone
We all search to be painfully self evident, all men are not created equal, only the strong will conquer, only the strong will prosper.
  Post: #516975 Link to this post, Sat 11 Jun 11, 10:34AM
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