Just wondered how many of you have Come out to your grandparents?
If you have, how did it go?
If you haven't, why?
My parents know I'm gay, but that's it,
I think I could tell some of the family, but having so many young children in the family, like cousins, makes it more difficult because I know they wouldn't fully understand
Although my grandparents are another story completely, they don't know and I don't think I could ever tell them,
I practically know that one set of grandparents would hate me for it, I think my nan has worked it put although she tries to ignore it completely
And I'm not sure how the others would take it
So what are your experiences of grandparents and knowing (or not knowing) your gay?
I'm scared to tell my grandparents, which is really sad because I love them a lot.
My grandma had a rather nasty stroke last year and is very simple minded from it. She has difficulty understanding some things, and I know there is no way she'd even be able to try to get this.
My grandpa is a zealous Catholic, and even my dad thinks he would never speak to me again if he knew the truth about me. Honestly, he's called my dad before to tell him he's worried I'm going to hell. I can't even go visit them now without the feeling of being judged.
They are both very old and ailing though, so maybe it's for the best. I want their last couple years to be peaceful.
I figure that some part of that could be for the best, but on the other hand, once i'm in a long term relationship I may/will want to come out to them
One set of grandparents fully supported getting rid of DADT. So, i think their liberalness may mean that my coming out won't be as hard to take. However coming out to both sides will be tough.
I say it's just like coming out to your parents, but you may have to come out a little more slowly and carefully...(depending on how conservative your grandparents views are)
"I loved her against reason. Against promise.
Against peace. Against hope, against happiness.
Against all discouragement that could be."
It went in this order - a few select friends knew/I had came out to
Then I came out to parents months after, which they're fine with.
Then I wrote it on Facebook that I'm gay and I'm not holding it in anymore - all replies were positive.
Then my dad decided he would take control, take me to my mums parents about a week later, have me sit there, but come out FOR ME. My grandparents didn't seem to like it.
A week later they came round my house, questioned me and were like "but you can't be, you have worn dresses before etc." I outright said to my grandma, I only wore them because I wasn't ready to come out and I didn't want to be obvious. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life to wear a dress.
Then I went away that weekend and it turns out my dad went to a family members birthday and told everyone FOR ME, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
Since then, I don't speak to half the family and my grandparents never speak about me to their friends or anything, but they speaks about all their other children and grandchildren.
It doesn't even bother me, but I've always hated my grandparents anyway.
Edit: Mycroftwave, Sun 27 Mar 11, 9:09PM
Post: #489298 , Sun 27 Mar 11, 9:08PM
My grandparents definitely wouldn't like my being gay.
My grandma has high blood pressure and some cardiovascular problems, so I wouldn't want to upset her. (My other grandparents are all in their eighties, almost nineties, so I wouldn't want to upset them either.) Oh well, guess it'll never come to light! I live in a different country from them anyway, so they'll never have the chance to find out
I love them though! Can't really blame them; they lived in a different culture and a different era (WWII, etc).
Telling my grandparents is actually something I've pondered quite a bit.
I'm close to my grandma on my mom's side and both my grandparents on my stepdad's side. I don't think they'd have a problem with it, but I just don't see any reason why I have to tell them until I actually get a girlfriend.
My grandparents on my dad's side are another story. My mom and my stepdad know I'm lesbian, but my DAD doesn't even know. The only reason I haven't told him is because he's been under a lot of stress and I don't want him worrying about me more than he already does (not that he'd have to worry about that, but that's how my dad is). I'm not as close with his side of the family because I haven't seen them as much, and I don't even know how they feel about LGBT. Also, my grandparents only speak Spanish, which I won't be learning until next year.
Either way, everyone is going to find out eventually. All I can do right now is hope that they'll understand and love me no matter what...and that I learn Spanish. Ha-ha
“Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.”
My grandma doesn't know and unless she's alive when I get married then she never will know. She's deeply catholic and I just don't see the point of upsetting her that way. Sides does it really matter to me if she knows? Not really goodness knows that woman has enough reasons to despise me without me giving her one more.
"If a writer falls in love with you, you will never be forgotten."
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred!
my grandparents dont know, in fact my parents dont know either. only 3 people know im bisexual right now. my grandma found out i was in GSA at my school and was like what is it? so i told her it was Gay-Straight Alliance. and she started freaking out, she was like "i dont care if you associate with them, but just dont become one of them. it was like she was tlking about a disease. i remember calling my bestfriend from my grandma's bathtub that night crying my eyes out. <3
Oooh, interesting spin on the classic coming out question.
For me, not at the moment. For starters, I don't have an inherent problem with them knowing, it's more that it makes my life much easier for them not to
On my dad's side I never see anyone, and both my grandfathers have passed, but I see my mum's mum quite a bit. Unfortunately, she's a follower of the "it's as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as a poor girl" analogy and loves nothing better than to ask about girlfriends. Given all that, I get the feeling that family dinners would get quite awkward if I told her, so for the time being I figure I'll just keep my preferences out of her earshot
~Queen of Hearts, Co-King of Tommania-Kodanbourg, Overlord of the Inconceivable Castle, Trader in Wits, Sarcasms and Paradoxes, Somewhat-less-dashing Co-host of TADTARSFAHWYEB, Unicorn-narwhal-lawyer, Pink Marshmallow, PolsGeek, The Law
i've been wondering this too. i think one grandma would take it pretty well. she's very open minded and even taught my little cousin about how being gay doesn't change who a person is. my grandpa wouldn't want to hear about it though i don't think he'd treat me any different. he didn't like when i had boyfriends nevermind a girlfriend.
my other grandma would be upset by it and would probably cry. my uncle was gay and she never spoke about it. she's very catholic.
i don't plan on coming out to any of them until i'm in a serious long term relationship. i don't think my catholic grandma would want to hear i'm most definetely not marrying a man and i don't think she needs to hear it anytime soon.
Well..from a personal perspective, all of my grandparents took it really well. They were all super awesome about it.
I think it really depends on the grandparents. If it's a religion thing, well, I can tell you that one of my grandma's is super catholic and while she may not particularly enjoy that I'm gay...she's very accepting.
Having basically come out to most of the people I had left to tell in recent days, I feel empowered to meet the challenge of telling my Grandparents - tomorrow. They're last on the list. I'm going to lunch with them tomorrow so I'll let you know how it goes . . . . if it goes
Well, as far as my family goes, I'm out to my parents but not really my extended family. It's hard to do it without being awkward, ya know?
I adore both of my grandmas, but they just seem so...conservative. Each in their own way. One is a Fox news-watching Southern Republican woman, and the other grew up in the Sicilian boonies and is actually unwittingly racist and anti semitic hah! I have no idea what their opinions on gay people are...I'm fairly certain the former is totally homophobic and that it's not even on the Sicilian one's radar. Quite frankly, it doesn't really bug me that they don't know. They don't ask about boyfriends/girlfriends. I don't think they're really interested in my sexuality either way Also, they're just so...old. And small and cute. Even when they're watching Fox news or saying really embarrassing things about Jewish people, I just find it adorable? Like they don't even know what they're doing ^^; I'm like "oh, Grandma *pats head*".
Edit: thefuzz, Mon 28 Mar 11, 1:22AM
Post: #489437 , Mon 28 Mar 11, 1:21AM
When I told my mum, she said I could never tell my grandparents (On my dads side). They are extremely religious and will basically disown me. But I wouldn't really mind. If they won't accept it, why should I let that effect me? Except the fact that they brought me my mountain bike, bass guitar, keyboard, and camera...
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