ok so. this might be kinda long, but I would appreciate it if I got some insight on this.
so I've been with Tyler for shortly over 6 months, and things are still as amazing as ever.
However, since the beginning, he's been extremely overprotective. And by overprotective, I mean he constantly needs to reassure himself that I'm 100% committed to him, which I really am. We spend virtually all our time together, we're both away from our homes for University so we spend every night together and the time that were not at work or in class in also spent together. So I guess, compared to regular relationships, we've been together for more than 6 months (if that makes sense).
When we went swimming the other day at his apartment building, he got changed in his room and walked down while I just brought my bathing suit downstairs and got changed. Well, he made sure that there was nobody in the change room before I got changed and when I got out of my bathing suit, he stayed there until I was dressed. I found it kinda awkward... but I don't really know what to think
Anyway, back to the problem, he's jealous and I can't even look at other people without him getting a little upset. Like, for instance, we were at the mall a couple weeks ago and I was just looking at a guy, not even checking him out, and Tyler got offended. And I don't think he trusts me when I say that I wouldn't ruin what we have over another guy. And he's always thinking that he's not good enough and it hurts me to hear and see that... anyway, my question is, what should I do. I know he means well and I'm pretty sure it's because he's been hurt a couple times before in relationship that he's doing this stuff...
Anwyay, anything helps.
also, thanks to Jayne for making me my banner :) <3 |
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Post: #484033  , Fri 18 Mar 11, 11:08PM |
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really? nobody?
also, thanks to Jayne for making me my banner :) <3
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Post: #484402 , Sat 19 Mar 11, 5:38PM |
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Does he have a history of people whom he trusted abandoning him, i.e. being in and out of foster care? If so, that could be an answer.
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Post: #484405 , Sat 19 Mar 11, 5:43PM |
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Have you just sat him down and really talked to him? That is the most you can do. Explain to him that you are his and only his, and also that his jealousy makes you wonder if he trusts you, and that it hurts you. Jealousy is quite a predicament because, it never goes away. The best you can do is ask him to give you some breathing room.
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Post: #484413 , Sat 19 Mar 11, 5:56PM |
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Dealing with an overprotective significant other is always difficult and I have recently had the same thing happen to my friend. There is only really one thing you can do.
Start by talking to him about where this stems from. Assure him that you do care about him and are not looking for anyone else but that you are a little conserned by the way he reacts in different situations.
Note: be delicate with what you say though you may offend him and that will not help your situation. You know him way better then I do so you know what would upset him more than I do.
Part of establishing a healthy relationship is being able to be honest about how you are feeling and if something is upsetting you.
I hope that helped.
Remember: The world stops turning if you don't dance on it!
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Post: #484418 , Sat 19 Mar 11, 6:22PM |
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hmmmm....you guys are right...I guess I haven't really talked to him about it because it's actually just started to bother me. I just have to figure out how to say it without totally offending him.
p.s. @ Daryl, no, he doesn't have a history of abandonment...just one really bad previous relationship
also, thanks to Jayne for making me my banner :) <3
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Post: #484775 , Sun 20 Mar 11, 2:26PM |
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I'd have to say that trust is one of the most important parts of a relationship. Sit down and talk with him about why he's afraid that he's going to lose you. Make sure he knows that you aren't going to leave him but also...be carful you don't go into a deeper commitment (that you don't really want) in the relationship to "prove" that you're his. Just try to talk with him about why he's jealous and try to do it in a way that won't hurt his feelings.
Sally: "I love old things. They make me feel sad."
Cathy: "What's good about sad?"
Sally: "It's happy for deep people."
-Doctor Who, Blink
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Post: #484808 , Sun 20 Mar 11, 4:34PM |
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