Just need to talk?
UK: Childline on
0800 1111
US: Trevor Project on
866 488 7386
|
Topic: Going behind my mother's back.
Posts
 |
 |
:: sianna
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Hokay, anyone up for a challenging advice job? Because here it comes. Confusing my life up like a bat out of hell.
So, when I came to school this year, I was a brand new kid (tuitioning from another district), I knew no one, and I was extremely shy. I was also hiding in the closet, or, behind a mask of 'Zooey Deschanel is cute but LOL I like penis'. Which wasn't true, I've liked girls for years.
I also was nursing a sore wound from a summer relationship with a boy who was a TOTAL ass. All he wanted was webcam flashing and by the end of it he was making out with a girl in his church group (yeah, i know, right) and it was just a big ugly mess. He was my first relationship, so I entered this new school with a new attitude on sexuality; an attitude that was clawing on the closet door. I immediately joined the GSA (hiding behind the S for Straight), and also immediately fell reeally hard for a girl in it.
On the outside she seemed to be an extremely stereotypical lesbian, with the short hair and mens' shirts and DYKE tattooed on her forehead. (metaphorically). But for a reason unknown she drew me in like a magnet, sticking out from all the other gay girls at the school (there are a lot, it's a generally tolerant place). I was too shy to get to know her, so I fostered a burning crush for two months.
Then! A holiday fair at the school. We both facepainted at the GSA booth for 6 hours. Best 6 hours I'd had in forever. She got my number and we immediately started a cycle of texting that went around the clock. It was amazing. She was amazing. We went to see a movie with some guy friends and it felt like a date, just minus the romantic activities and along with two insane boys who were intent on ripping a guardrail out of the asphalt. (and they almost succeeded).
Her best friend found out that I liked her. She told her. Then I discovered she liked me back. So, since then, we've been kind of dating. The texting cycle is still going, except they've gotten naughtier (heheh) and we entered the pet name stage (baby, beautiful, honey, sweetheart). Also we've made it clear to each other that hooking up with other people is off limits. So, kind of dating.
There should be no problem with this, because she makes me so freaking happy. Like, 300 to 1 in comparison to Summer Boy. Except... she's a senior, and I'm a freshman. My mother is not too pleased about this. I came out to her a few weeks ago and she first told me that being bisexual is bull, and I was either gay or straight and not in between (yeah you have so much insight on this, Mrs. I've Never Hooked Up with a Girl (no really she hasn't, she's said)) and then said there is no way in hell I'm dating a girl in high school, let alone a senior girl. She doesn't want me to 'color my four years experience with a bad reputation'. Also that the girl who I'm practically in love with is creepy for liking me, because I'm younger, when she's never met my girl. And said she doesn't ever plan on it. She doesn't want me to be bullied, I just want to be out.
So. I need thoughts on this. I really, really, really need advice and it feels good to write all of this down. I don't want to lie to my mum, who is a good lady who loves me very much, but I also don't think I have the power to control myself around this perfect girl I've found (and I don't want to have to). Thanks for taking the time to read all of this! What should I do! In conclusion... THOUGHTS?!?
xoxSianna
|
|
Post: #447963  , Mon 20 Dec 10, 2:23AM |
|
|
I feel like such a bad influence. But sometimes you gotta be bad. Ya know?
It almost never works out forever. But I did date girls behind my mom's back when I was a freshman and a sophomore. And now that I'm NOT, I almost wish I still was! It was honestly lots easier.
What I'm saying is, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And if that is dating a girl behind your homophobic mom's back, so be it.
|
|
Post: #447972 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 2:36AM |
|
|
:: sianna
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Except she's not even homophobic, she's just against me being out/dating this girl. She has tons of gay BFFs and we went to a queer hoedown yesterday for DADT being repealed. She's okay with the gays, she just has issues with me being bi and she doesn't want me being harassed. I just don't even know. Your advice is probably going to be followed though 
|
|
Post: #448018 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 3:28AM |
|
|
Yeah, yeah. My mom was the same way when I was your age. One of her best college friends was gay, blah blah blah.
Fact of the matter is, she doesn't want YOU to be. Which is pretty much the same thing. And yes. You probably will. 
Ahh, young love. XD
|
|
Post: #448023 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 3:31AM |
|
|
:: byoda
:: QA9 Grand Elder | |
Well, you got to do what you got to do. I say sneak away!
|
|
Post: #448024 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 3:32AM |
|
|
:: dayman
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
Do whatever makes u happy ur life, ur choice
Make your own reality, be who you want to be, and love. just love.
|
|
Post: #448025 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 3:33AM |
|
|
:: sianna
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Does your arse get sore sitting on that rocking chair on the porch all day, gazing at the young people, Kailey? 16 is so ancient. I mean that with much love. 
|
|
Post: #448026 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 3:34AM |
|
|
Yes. My arse does get sore. And sometimes I go to take a sip of my tea and my dentures fall out and tumble onto the porch. And then one of my twenty seven cats dashes up and steals them. And I chase after them with my cane yelling "Heyyy, Sonny! Gimme mah dentures back!"
|
|
Post: #448028 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 3:37AM |
|
|
:: sianna
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
I bet it's a pain when my peers get on your lawn after some ball they kicked over your fence. I really apologize for that.
|
|
Post: #448036 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 3:50AM |
|
|
Thank you, young whippersnapper. At least one of you has sense.
|
|
Post: #448037 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 3:52AM |
|
|
I was sneaking around quite a bit with girls when I was your age. I'd always bring girlfriends home and claim them to be just friends or go to their house after school. My mom always hated them. But whatever.
You're young, I say keep going for it. Be the rebellious teenager. Judging by what your mom has said in regards to your sexuality, she'll come around eventually.
|
|
Post: #448074 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 5:10AM |
|
|
Just keep seeing your girl. It's teenage nature to sneak around your parent's backs sometimes.
You're just starting high school, so chances are you're not gunna be with this girl forever. Date her, let the relationship end up however it may end up, and be happy for the experience.
I always like to say that sometimes you may regret doing something, but you will almost always regret NOT doing something and be left wondering "what if?"
Best of luck to you two
|
|
Post: #448231 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 5:29PM |
|
|
Go for it! Sometimes it's good to be rebellious Live your life a little before you turn all old and gray like Kailey and I did at the ripe old age of 16 LOL.
It's part of growing up and I think it represents a whole new step for you, and it seems like you've matured a lot from your summer romance and your shyness Good luck to you both, I hope it turns out well!
Sally: "I love old things. They make me feel sad."
Cathy: "What's good about sad?"
Sally: "It's happy for deep people."
-Doctor Who, Blink
|
|
Post: #448237 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 5:43PM |
|
|
Nothing lasts forever. <-- may not be the first thing to start with xD but it's true! It's not as if you two are going to date for the rest of your life, so I don't see the issue. Age doesn't even matter these days, unless it's a taboo distance (but a Freshmen and Senior? Not very taboo). The important thing is maturity, which you obviously have and by her age, I'd assume she has as-well.
You have a right to be happy, and if being with her does that, it's nobodies right to deny it to you. I can understand her being worried given she is a bit older than you (my Mom was the same, though she was accepting as-well), but as long as you know what you're getting into.. yeah, I don't see an issue. xD
It might take some more convincing, but honestly I don't see how it could go on being perceived as wrong.
Just stay strong about your opinion, but be fair as-well.
When one loves, there is the risk of hate.
^ My favorite Sims. <3 |
|
Post: #448239 , Mon 20 Dec 10, 5:51PM |
|
|
:: sianna
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
(Ima do individual responses because that is how i ROLL.)
Scarlet- I'm kind of wishing I hadn't come out to her, otherwise I would be able to hide behind the veil of 'just friends' Kind of a bum move on my part.
Kim- It's not gonna last forever, and I'm okay with that, I just want to enjoy a fun and amazing relationship while I can. Life happens and I want it to (:
Zach- I'm not really a rebel so this is gonna be hard O.o but I'm totally going down the rebel path. And to think, you and Kailey are so ancient... yet my girl is someone even older!! O:
August- No amount of convincing is going to make mummy okay with me dating her, but I'm still gonna live and have no regrets.
Thanks a bunch for the advice xx
|
|
Post: #448928 , Tue 21 Dec 10, 11:03PM |
|
|
|
If you really like the girl and she really like you, you should go for it. Sometimes that's hard to come across. Maybe your mum will get over you having a girlfriend after a while because she's okay with gays.
I was born this way, baby.
|
|
Post: #448966 , Wed 22 Dec 10, 1:34AM |
|
|
 |
 |
LIKE THIS PAGE
|
Who's Online
Last 15 mins: 19 guests, 6 members: Twiggey, giodude, Ceasedtoexist, Jaylin, fortune_cookie + 1 anonymous QA Ethos
Above all else, QA should be a friendly community. Contact us when our Terms are broken.
Events and promos
Check out
The Official QA Blog
|
Three's A Crowd... or is it?
Oh no, I procrastinated again! (Rant Warning)
Lily Helena Knight
Things that grow
Just so.
My new life
Trip to the zoo!
