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Mainpage » QA Forums » Queer Thinking » Topic: Too young to know? Really?

Topic: Too young to know? Really?

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Shatese Send Shatese a private message
:: Pinky
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so was in my SAT class and my math teacher said I don't see how any teenager could possibly know their sexual orientation. Why do people think that people don't know if they're gay, but straight people just KNOW. To be it's a bunch of bs because if you know, you know, or am I wrong? Thats like asking a straight person how do you know your straight . They'd take offense pretty quick. I think it's really rude if someone questions you like that. If you think your gay, then your gay or bi or whatever you say. There should be no question about it. What do you guys think?
  Post: #445553 Link to this post, Mon 13 Dec 10, 7:29PM
Nicky Send Nicky a private message
:: nicky25997
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I agree with you. Who knows you better than you know yourself. You know who and what you love. I think it's stupid to say that you are too young to know how you feel.
  Post: #445556 Link to this post, Mon 13 Dec 10, 7:37PM
Kai Send Kai a private message
:: LoveisLove
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I agree with both of you. My mom told me I was too young to know when I first came out. But how is it that nobody is "too young to know" that they're straight?
No one ever says, "Oh, Sally, you're too young to know that you like penis." In fact they're like, "Hey, Sally. You got a boyfriend yet? Sally, do you think Jack is cute?" Sally is assumed straight from the beginning. I think this might be the root of the problem.
I digress. Saying someone is too young to know that they're gay is like saying someone is too young to know that they don't like spinach or that they prefer jeans to kakhis or that they like art class more than gym.
People need to get over the perception that every human being on the planet is straight like them. And then maybe they'll see how hypocritical that statement really is.
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  Post: #445557 Link to this post, Mon 13 Dec 10, 7:50PM
Aden Send Aden a private message
:: Taryn3334
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I agree, and I disagree. You see, I don't think you can ever be too young to know - if you know, then you know, and good for you. But there are some people who just assume - "Oh, I'm straight because everyone is, I'm bi because I got a crush on a girl once, I'm gay because I haven't had a boyfriend yet." Once you figure it out, that's great, no matter your age. But some people really do need to take a few years and question things. I know some people who are 20 years old and still using the label of "bisexual" to encompass the feeling of "hell, I don't know, I'm just open to anything right now!" And that's fine, too. I think if straight people did this too, instead of just assuming they're straight because it's socially acceptable, not only would we get a much better idea of the maturity of our society, and grow into ourselves in a much more fitting timeline, but we'd also allow for some more equality between straight people and queer people.
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  Post: #446246 Link to this post, Thu 16 Dec 10, 1:44AM
August Send August a private message
:: Augustine
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First off, nobody knows better than you.
Second off, you can know your gay from VERY early on. I've known people who have known since they were like, 4. How they knew? I don't know. But they did.
I myself knew since I was 7.

It's different for everyone, but there is no age requirement you have to wait for to 'know' your sexuality. You just KNOW.
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  Post: #446264 Link to this post, Thu 16 Dec 10, 2:25AM
Sianna Send Sianna a private message
:: sianna
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Labeling sexuality is like catching smoke with your bare hands (or like catching Sirius Black). Some people know 100% if they want same sex, some people know 100% that being homo is not for them. But then everyone else is scrabbling around for footing, wondering, am I bi? Am I gay? Am I straight? Is it a phase? I definitely think it's bull for someone to say 'oh you don't know if you like same sex.' Because the only person who can decide that is yourself, it's not up for someone else to label you at any age. And there's nothing wrong with changing your label as time goes by. Bottom line, your math teacher was an ass for saying that Emoticon: Tongue :p
  Post: #446307 Link to this post, Thu 16 Dec 10, 4:15AM
Saied Send Saied a private message
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I see both sides of the argument.

I can see how your teacher would wonder, since hormones, in teenagers, are out of whack. But I do see how it's offensive, since no one questions straight people about their sexual orientation.

I think if someone knows for sure what they are, then that's what others should respect. If someone is questioning and curious, then that's a different situation.
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  Post: #446327 Link to this post, Thu 16 Dec 10, 5:16AM
ProfessorChaos Send Cancelled by user a private message
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It's a double standard. No one questions when people say they're straight because straight is normal and it's the default. In order for someone to be gay, they have to have made a serious "choice" that they're not ready for yet. Either that or something traumatic happened to make them hate the opposite gender and now they're just confused. Even if people don't say that kind of thing upfront, that's what it comes from. It's because being gay is different and a "deviation" so people have a problem when a kid suddenly declares that they're gay.
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  Post: #446334 Link to this post, Thu 16 Dec 10, 5:25AM
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