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Topic: Dyke instead of Lesbian?
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I was talking to a friend of mine today, she's pan and her bff (we'll call her Amy) is a lesbian. So she told me I'd have to meet Amy someday, but that she prefers dyke as opposed to lesbian.
Apparently, Amy feels that the word 'lesbian' makes it seem sort of taboo, while 'dyke' is ok. I thought the opposite, but I was wondering what you all thought.
I'd like to hear from our lovely gay ladies, but guys should feel free to put in their two cents as well.
Yes, I'm an artist. No, I'm not starving.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
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Post: #407519  , Tue 13 Jul 10, 12:38AM |
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I agree with you--I thought it was the other way around.Some gay guys like to refer to each other as the "F" word, too. I don't like being called a dyke, not even by friends. That's just me; some people clearly see offensive slurs as terms of endearment. I don't want to be called a dyke by a lesbian any more than I want to be called the "N" word by another black person.
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Post: #407523 , Tue 13 Jul 10, 12:51AM |
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i was teased for being a lesbian not a dyke
to me, dyke is meaningless no one around here uses it that way
kike on the other hand...is very offensive
either way there both words and when in doubt just use the word gay
its sort of like calling yourself queer, its derogatory but its also an umbrella term and a term of endearment sometimes, the same with a cross dresser
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Post: #407544 , Tue 13 Jul 10, 2:36AM |
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:: Nina
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
lol personalyy it doesnt really matterr too meeh. i say themm both all the time :]
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Post: #407549 , Tue 13 Jul 10, 3:16AM |
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I've never been called a dyke.
Personally, no words used to describe a "negative" version of anything I am really offend me. I prefer gay over lesbian because of the phonetics alone.
Okay, and maybe while I was growing up/coming out I heard Spencer Carlin say, "I'm gay" one too many times in her cute voice. Still!
The only things that really offend me are things that attack something I am actually ashamed of or wish were different -- for physical features, it's my skin tone (too pale) or my teeth (not straight at all) and mainly my personality and/or past mistakes. If you call me out on something meaningful, it hurts. But words like faggot, dyke, queer, carpet muncher, etc. are just words.
You're stubborn, hard headed, sheltered, impatient, angry, and altogether you irritate and frustrate me more than anyone else on the planet. I love you.
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Post: #407553 , Tue 13 Jul 10, 3:25AM |
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Not a lesbian, of course, but I kinda agree with Lisa. The idea that someone uses a word to negatize what I am is what annoys me. You could described me as colored, yes, I'm brown and that's fine. But then someone else calls me "COLORED" in a certain tone, a certain look to their eyes... That's when I get pissed off.
I'd feel the same way about if someone called me "gay" versus someone who was calling me gay when it was CLEAR they meant it in the most offensive way possible. Ya dig?
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Post: #407588 , Tue 13 Jul 10, 4:58AM |
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Haha yeah Corrie, I dig. 
I guess you guys are right, it's more about the way someone says something than the actual word. But thanks for the input!
Yes, I'm an artist. No, I'm not starving.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
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Post: #407700 , Tue 13 Jul 10, 4:50PM |
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:: lena
:: QA10 Community God | |
For some reason, dyke is the only word that sits comfortably with me out of gay/lesbian/dyke. Although I like the term queer too. 'Lesbian' bothers me, I'm not a fan of the way it sounds, and 'gay' doesn't sit comfortably in my mount.
I love being called a dyke, it describes me. I've never had it used against me, which is nice too.
I've been thinking about hell, and it's got to be a much nicer place than heaven... all the gay men are down there. You KNOW it's well decorated.
If being gay is a disease, lets all call in queer to work. "Sorry, cannot come to work today, still queer".
Real Lord of the Rings fans know it's not a trilogy.
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Post: #408945 , Sat 17 Jul 10, 9:48AM |
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to me, dyke sounds negative, but i don't know why. i quite like the word lesbian actually...
maybe it's how the word is used around you, for instance in my day to day life i rarely hear girls referred to as a 'dyke' or 'gay' seriously. if friends are casually throwing insults at each other 'dyke' is used (where i live anyway) and 'gay' is used a LOT to describe basically anything someone doesn't like.
eg. We've got homework? Aw that's gay!
I feel like I've just written an Urban Dictionary entry :L
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Post: #408964 , Sat 17 Jul 10, 11:49AM |
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I would never use the word dyke or fag. I don't like the word lesbian, just because I hate how it sounds, but I prefer that to dyke.
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Post: #408995 , Sat 17 Jul 10, 2:35PM |
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I'm not too keen on either term... I'd say I probably prefer 'dyke' out of the two, but they both make me cringe a bit! I'll stick with gay or queer
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Edit: LetMeSee..., Sat 17 Jul 10, 7:25PM
Post: #409073 , Sat 17 Jul 10, 7:24PM |
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i dont know how it is with lesbians but i personally dont care what term people use, as long as they dont mean it in anger. im fine with the word fag as long as its not in a mean way.
its almost a pet name for the people close to me.  haha.
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Post: #409074 , Sat 17 Jul 10, 7:33PM |
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I think it's totally a preferance. like I prefer lesbian, I think it's sounds better but around here ppl also use gay. but gay is ment also like " oh we have a math test" "that's so gay" .
And dyke is ment ti be offensive. that's just what I think but ya
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
- doctor seuss
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Post: #409075 , Sat 17 Jul 10, 7:36PM |
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Some people prefer dyke, but I wouldn't go around calling anyone a dyke unless they ask you to, because it's generally considered to be very offensive.
"If birth is fission, then the love we make is fusion; and to make an End is nothing more than to realize a Beginning." --Evidence of Things Unseen
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Post: #409153 , Sun 18 Jul 10, 1:26AM |
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I'm bisexual, but to be honest, I wouldn't object to being called a dyke. Obviously, it's all about how you say it. I refer to myself as "gay" sometimes. I have a friend who's gay and happens to be Asian, and a mutual friend of our called him a FAG: Fine Asian Gay. He's cool with her using the term that way, but I've seen him get quite upset (and justifiably so) when people have used it against him in a deragatory way. You can call me just about anything you want, as long as you mean it as a term of endearment.
Keep your religion out of my bedroom, and I won't have sex in your church.
Don't assume I'm straight, and I won't assume you're gay.
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Post: #409193 , Sun 18 Jul 10, 4:08AM |
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I actually really like the word lesbian. I love the way it flows. That said, I wouldn't mind being called a dyke by another lesbian or gay. I WOULD NOT want to be called dyke by a straight. I don't quite feel like dyke fits me, but I wouldn't mind it.
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Post: #409439 , Sun 18 Jul 10, 9:40PM |
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:: Nyx57
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I don't like the terms "dyke" or "lesbian". Lesbian sounds like a bad, hurtful word in my opinion. I wince every time I hear it. >.<
"Gay" has a lot less ouch to its sound, but some idiots interpret that to mean you like boys and you are therefore straight! 
I've been called a fruitcake before, but I took it as a term of affection. Fruity and nutty pretty much describes me lol
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Edit: Nyx57, Sun 18 Jul 10, 9:56PM
Post: #409446 , Sun 18 Jul 10, 9:53PM |
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I'm sure sure why but I'm not really a fan of the term 'dyke'. I have mates who prefer it but it's not very comfortable for me.
Much rather 'queer' or 'gay'.
I was working on an lgb theatre devising project and I was the only one who wasn't offended by 'queer'.
Odd, I thought. Slightly, um.. queer..
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Post: #409463 , Sun 18 Jul 10, 10:51PM |
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Personally, Koda and I call each other the most offensive names related to our sexuality, but we mean it endearingly. So in the end, when other people say it, it doesn't phase me for half of a second. I actually smile at them regardless of their tone. Though I do differentiate between Dyke and Lesbian. When someone calls me a Dyke, it refers to my outer appearance. When they call me a lesbian, it refers to my sexual preference. So I can't say I really have a preference between the two.
It was an exquisite irony: Just when we stopped wanting to kill ourselves, we started to die. Just when we were feeling strength, it was taken from us.
This should not happen to you.
Talk all you want about youth feeling invincible. Surely, some of us had that bravado. But there was also the dark inner voice telling us we were doomed. And then we were doomed. And then we weren't.
You should not feel doomed. Not in the same way.
you can only doom yourself.
-David Levithan. "How Beautiful the Ordinary: Twelve Stories of Identity" A Word From the Nearly Distant Past
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Post: #409465 , Sun 18 Jul 10, 11:00PM |
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I pefer to be called a dyke as weel. To me, for some reason, "lesbian" sounds so dirty...and disgusting. But that's just me.
{her.eyes.scream} [&&that's called boy tipping]
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Post: #409472 , Sun 18 Jul 10, 11:13PM |
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