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Topic: Demisexuality?
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It's so recent that I've heard this term used before, but apparently it's the name for someone who only finds sexual attraction in a person who they have a romantic connection with. I heard it while browsing AVEN, the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network.
I've been finding a way to express my exact sexuality without having to sit down and explain a paragraph, but so far demisexual seems to fit. One Demisexual peron on the AVEN forums explained that they'd never just seen somehow on the streets and thought of them as "hot" or "10 of 10" or "want to bang them." But when they fell in love, they had complete sexual attraction to that person based on emotional, romantic, and physical attributes.
That is me. I never find people "hot" unless I already at least have some knowledge of them as a person and have developed a "crush," and the only time I've had deep sexual attraction was whilst being in love. (With my current girlfriend.) I've never had deep crushes on any guys, so it may be possible that one day it *could* happen, but the fact that I'm freaked by penises and balls kind of prevents the physical part from occuring.
Lesbian demisexual say what?
Anyone else feel the same?
You're stubborn, hard headed, sheltered, impatient, angry, and altogether you irritate and frustrate me more than anyone else on the planet. I love you.
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Post: #287893  , Mon 5 Oct 09, 1:26AM |
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That sounds like me also. I've heard the term before, but I didn't know what it meant. When I fall in love, I fall in love hard, and usually the person I'm in love with distracts me from anyone else I could be attracted to. I'm usually only attracted to one person at a time. I'll randomly see a person and think, "Oh, that person's pretty," but it doesn't really register. I don't suddenly want to go out with them (especially when I'm thinking about someone else, which is the case at the moment). Although, it does take me long to realize I'm in love.
It's an interesting term. I think I'm going to use it now.
"I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren't there."
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Post: #287897 , Mon 5 Oct 09, 1:32AM |
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YAY THAT'S MEEEEEEEE!
i call myself a lesbian, but i'm truly a homoromantic demisexual. i'm so proud *sniff* 
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Post: #287900 , Mon 5 Oct 09, 1:34AM |
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Yup. I, too, identify as a homoromantic demisexual, but with occasional 'bursts of passion', like someone described in one of the asexuality threads here. Like for most of us sexuality is kinda fluid. For me it's on the asexual side of the scale. During certain short periods of time I'd be sexually attracted to guys, but probably 90% of the time I have no interest whatsoever. They're nice to look at, that's all, nothing more. I was only sexually attracted to someone once after being romantically attracted, so that's where I think I'm demisexual.
For a while I thought I was purely asexual. Till I read up about demisexuality. Maybe I still am, I don't know. My sexuality seems so ambiguous sometimes.
"I like being alone, but I hate being lonely."
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Edit: Tenshodo, Mon 5 Oct 09, 7:07AM
Post: #288015 , Mon 5 Oct 09, 7:06AM |
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I understand the want to have something to describe yourself with, but I dare say this won't help you at all from having to explain it to people. Most LGBT people don't even know what it means, much less the general population.
The ever-burgeoning alphabet soup of labels is watering down the soup, IMO.
The mere impulse of appetite is slavery, while obedience to the law we prescribe to ourselves is liberty. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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Post: #288071 , Mon 5 Oct 09, 12:32PM |
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^ So? There's no rule that says we have to give everyone we come out to a full explanation of every label we think fits us and exactly what it means. That would be ridiculous. It may make a difference to the outside world that I'm into girls instead of guys. That I can explain. But it won't matter as much that I don't usually develop crushes on people until after I've started to make friends with them, and I don't usually feel sexually attracted to people until I develop a crush on them.
That sounds demisexual to me, but I don't have to explain all of it to the world; they don't care. But internally, sometimes it's nice to have a term that might fit OTHER than "just different."
Hearts don't follow the rules of logic.
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Edit: Splash, Mon 5 Oct 09, 8:08PM
Post: #288134 , Mon 5 Oct 09, 7:31PM |
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That's pretty much me... so far. I've never crushed on anyone without knowing them first.
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Post: #288193 , Mon 5 Oct 09, 8:44PM |
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that is pretty much me!! I have heard of demi sexuality before but i never actually knew what it ment..
this would actually explain why i found my exgf sexually attractive while i dont find any girls attractive..  I always thought i was pansexual before cuz that was the closest thing to what i am..
Straight MTF demisexual
meow. Sammie.Seduction
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Post: #288215 , Mon 5 Oct 09, 9:10PM |
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:: Jabie
:: QA6 Livin' it up! | |
Cool! Absolutely, definitely, positively NOT me, but still interesting and nice to get educated.
So. Basically you're demisexual if you don't find random strangers sexually arousing? Yeeeeaaaaah not me. But could probably explain a lot of people I know.
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Post: #288221 , Mon 5 Oct 09, 9:16PM |
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By the way, another way I can really explain my demisexuality that really proves to me the difference between the wish for emotional connection along w/ sexual and the actual need for emotional for the other to occur.
I have actually, upon first meeting of someone, being judgmental in their looks (not a bad judgmental, but as in I saw them and considered "fat, plain" or not that attractive) and then later, after having developed a strong emotional connction, found this person extremely sexy.
Now, I have gone over in my head the possibility of this being because I repressed my crush/love on this person, which I did do. However I remember very clearly when I had my first random thought about them as more than a friend, and it was after we'd been good friends for several months. Prior to that, as I say, I had been more judgmental in my thoughts, but not in a way that caused me to not want to be this person's friend.
Also, I've only been even moderately sexually attracted to four people, and of those four, only two of them mediumly attracted and of those two, only one intense attraction. (Categorizing intense by sexual attraction when not in contact with the person at all, i.e. sexually aroused just by looking at them, seeing them move/dance, etc.)
You're stubborn, hard headed, sheltered, impatient, angry, and altogether you irritate and frustrate me more than anyone else on the planet. I love you.
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Post: #288789 , Wed 7 Oct 09, 1:18AM |
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:: Red
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Great.
Another label. :/
Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero
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Post: #288797 , Wed 7 Oct 09, 1:29AM |
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