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Topic: Long-Distance Relationships (Your Experiences)
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This thread is for sharing your expereinces of long-distance relationships.
See Long-Distance Relationships (Your Views) to express your opinions on them. |
Mine is going strong and has been for almost three years. Her and I are engaged and plan to live a happy life 
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Post: #564427  , Sat 15 Oct 11, 4:49AM |
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I remember posting on the 'Your Views' thread about my uncertainty as to whether or not I could do it... turns out I was right. Don't get me wrong, it was mostly good while it lasted, just being able to connect with someone on that level and have it be mutual was pretty great.
One of the main reasons I broke it off was because of my own problems. I didn't want to admit them to myself, never mind anyone else. Maybe if it had been a shorter distance, maybe if there had been a possibility of not just visiting, but visiting regularly we would have pulled through. Doubtful, but maybe.
So, yeah, mixed experience, and to be honest I can't say I'd be in any hurry to get into another LDR.
I'm a ratfish trying to practice doing back flips on your mattress.
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Post: #564467 , Sat 15 Oct 11, 12:16PM |
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:: e_m_i_l_y
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
I was with a guy for about six months. He only lived an hour away but I never got to see him because I couldn't tell my parents about him. We broke up because the distance was too much, and it was hard for both of us. I give props to anyone who can be in a long distance relationship because it's hard. I loved him so much but I never got to see him. My advice would be to make sure you two communicate and set boundaries. Even though you may not want the other person to ever look at someone else, well, that's really hard. Obviously you're going to be committed to each other, but be realistic. Hope this helped!
You laugh at me, then you laugh at them, but I laugh at you because you're just the same... -Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows
Because sometimes, sometimes, hate can be so beautiful, hate can be so beautiful... -Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows
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Post: #571894 , Tue 8 Nov 11, 2:01PM |
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:: Lynn
:: QA10 Community Goddess | |
Okay, update at almost four months in. I really was a little weary after my first long-distance relationship and because of everyone's warnings about their own horrible experiences but when you find the right person, it can work even if it is hard. The thing for me is the relationship isn't hard at all, never a moment of doubt or worry about it because we communicate so well and just fit perfectly. What is hard is when you want to cuddle and you know it will be another three weeks until you can, or they had a bad day and you wish you were there to rub their back, or just realizing how different your schedules are from each other because you only get to talk for about two hours a day because of work and sleep. We are actually lucky since both of us have income, cars, and only live about 600 miles away so we have been able to see each other a little more than once a month. But even past that, it isn't nearly as much as we would like to.
She stayed a month ago for about ten days and after being with each other constantly, sleeping next to each other every night, spending almost all day together, the moment she left just felt really empty. For the next week I would have a hard time sleeping because her arm wasn't around me and wake up disappointed because she wasn't there.
ANYWAYS, to remedy this, we are getting our own place in January. She already has a job offer, we have places picked out, a solid plan, and all that is really left to do is wait now.
Again, it really depends on the people. It is hard to work through the immediate want to have someone there, but people call long distance relationships "painful", a word I would never use to describe my relationship.
Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Love is the poetry of the senses. ~Honoré de Balzac
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Post: #571915 , Tue 8 Nov 11, 5:30PM |
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It's so funny to look at the first time I posted on here as opposed to now. ^^ Quote: "LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS SUCK!"
It took me a while to work through the insecurities I had about being in a long distance relationship (well, probably about being in a steady relationship, period). But now that I have things really couldn't be better. Not always being able to be there for your S.O. when they need a hug or a hand is hard, but when you find the right person, it's worth it a million times over. And anyway, when love hits you in the face like a swift punch from Chuck Norris... How could you say no?
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Post: #571918 , Tue 8 Nov 11, 5:52PM |
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I think they work fine.. it depends on the level of dedication by both parties..
My first relationship (which lasted 7 years) began as a long distance relationship.
My partner was on the other side of the country..and..things just came together. We spent 6 good, long years together after that and were quite happy. The first year was no exception.. Although it was sort of painful..it was worth it. Every second of it was worth it.
I'm now in another long-distance relationship, and have been for 10 months, with an American.
Granted this time it's a lot harder to cope with.. but by no means is it any less worth the time away.
I know that we'll end up together because it's what we both want..and we're working as hard as we can for it. Granted, there would be a much simpler way if America's laws weren't so shabby. 'same-sex marriages' not being federally recognized is the only thing separating us from being together instantly, and permanently.
However I do hope laws are changed in America, and other countries for that matter.. to allow same-sex couples to marry and immigrate, as any other couple has the right to have. If the DOMA didn't exist (in america at least) - I'd be with mine already. & I'd give anything for that.
I believe that this will last, and as long as you have faith in that and are willing to work for what you need, and for what your partner needs - the distance isn't even a factor. It's a temporary boundary, it can change if you work for it. But time spent away from them doesn't mean any less than time spent by their side.
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Edit: EclecticCub, Fri 11 Nov 11, 6:47PM
Post: #572823 , Fri 11 Nov 11, 6:45PM |
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Long distance relationships are just like any other type of relationship. Sometimes they work out well and other times they don't. Often for me it isn't the distance that is only cause of the relationship not working out, it may be a factor but it never the entire reason. If they don't work out then it wasn't a relationship that was meant to be. You just restart the dating cycle.
You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate over my head
Then I set fire to our bed
- from Kiss With A Fist by Florence + The Machine
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Post: #578420 , Sun 27 Nov 11, 1:54AM |
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I've had quite a few LDRs. Some were successful and some were not. It depends on the amount of effort and time both are willing to put into it. My longest lasted nearly a year, and my current is going strong. Each day I fall more in love with him. Sometimes the distance sucks, but it'll all work out one day
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Post: #578424 , Sun 27 Nov 11, 1:58AM |
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I can give you an example that LDR-s do work out. I was with my girlfriend for 2,5 years (it took us about 4 hours on planes to reach each other) before I decided to move in with her. We are close to 3 years now and everything is amazing. The emotional connection you build with your gf/bf during the long distance period is incredible.
All I can say is TRUST each other. That will do the trick.
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Post: #578427 , Sun 27 Nov 11, 2:00AM |
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I've had two they were good I mean there really not for me but I could do them haha
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Post: #578433 , Sun 27 Nov 11, 2:07AM |
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My track record with LDRs have been horrendous. Granted, I've only had one. She had a lot of insecurities with herself and the people around her that took a toll on our relationship. At first, she was this amazing girl with a great sense of humour and we had a lot in common. However, she needed constant reassurance. Every morning, it would be a text from her saying that she wasn't good enough or that she wished she was perfect. I became her lifeline, her sole reason for existing. Soon, she started lying to make me pity her, blaming me for her problems, accusing me of cheating, emotionally blackmailing me and controlling my friends. It was toxic.
Moral of the story: Trust and loving yourself before learning to love another creates a good foundation for a relationship.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Post: #579816 , Wed 30 Nov 11, 12:18PM |
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:: Lynn
:: QA10 Community Goddess | |
<3 It is pretty crazy sure and most people seem to have reservations about long-distance relationships but my girlfriend and I met on here actually. It was a longggg drive, a lot of whining on the phone, endless numbers of days were all I could do was miss her but now we share the same bed, get to kiss each other goodnight, and rather that whine and miss her I get to reach out and touch her. So, experience wise? My first one was emotionally crippling, toxic, and a complete waste of time but it also led me to this one, which happens to no longer be a LDR and completely changed my life.
Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Love is the poetry of the senses. ~Honoré de Balzac
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Post: #580381 , Fri 2 Dec 11, 12:56AM |
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Like. Erm.
Long distance relationships...they're hard. They'll make you doubt yourself. They'll make you want to cheat. They'll make you cry (a lot!). They'll probably make you drink and they'll probably make you more melodramatic than you ever thought you could be...
...But it could just be the best experience of your life.
Go for it! Be soppy, write him letters and poems and sing to him down the phone! Be happy!
~ Willeh. x
That venison was dear, wasn't it?
(Get it?) :3
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Post: #583006 , Thu 8 Dec 11, 8:53PM |
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I never thought I could do a long-distance relationship... but yet I met a girl at camp and we did date long distance. It didn't work out -- she would go on random bouts of ignoring me or send me cryptic texts about how boys were flirting with her. After that, I said I'd never do one again... but I might. Long-distance is better than none, right?
“I am a writer who happens to love women. I am not a lesbian who happens to write.” -- Jeanette Winterson
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Post: #584635 , Tue 13 Dec 11, 12:11AM |
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Mine is the best.
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Post: #584647 , Tue 13 Dec 11, 12:30AM |
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I feel that two people who are committed to one another, and who have an understanding of what kind of relationship they are in, with communication it can work. However, I strongly believe that at some point, the relationship shouldn't be long distance anymore. Long distance is possible, but it weighs heavy on the heart.
" A weed is a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered "
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Post: #584717 , Tue 13 Dec 11, 3:00AM |
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^_^ depends
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Post: #584722 , Tue 13 Dec 11, 3:09AM |
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I've been in one then just... Swore off it all. I'm the kind of person who needs someone there... XD There's no other way for me.
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Post: #585110 , Wed 14 Dec 11, 5:26AM |
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I hate LDR's! They've never worked for me, and they always screw with my head  I'm a physical guy, I like to cuddle and kiss, I want a boyfriend who I can be with within the hour if I need him :/
Be yourself, Everybody else is taken.
http://jordankyle94.tumblr.com/
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Post: #588174 , Tue 20 Dec 11, 7:53AM |
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now that i have experienced both a normal relationship and a long distance relationship.. here is what i have to say.
long distance... will fuck u up... really bad. its not good for u its not healthy...
human beings long for attention, affection, and touch. these things just arent the same when ur far away... and obviously there is no touching at all.
i have tried to have two long distance relationships. the first one? i met this girl in person... she lived a few hours away... then moved out of state... it destroyed both of us.
the other?
i talked to this girl for four years... and i didnt know her. i realized when i went to go see her.... everything that i thought i learned about her was a lie... she was only telling me what i wanted to hear... and as sincere as she seemed.... she was far from it. she played me like a fool.
i can say that now that im in a normal see each other everyday relationship... im so much happier and satisfied.
and i have found... that no relationship is more satisfying than a long distance one... because its just ur mind playing games with u... willing to try to make it work with someone regardless of this obvious complication... that didn't exist before we started immersing ourselves in technology. just because u see that pretty face on their profile... and just because they seem nice... and like what u like... it doesnt mean anything. u need to meet someone in person. learn their thought process... mannerisms, and day to day life...
this is just my opinion of course... but also my true feelings about this.... i know that being gay can be really lonely... and this sometimes seems to be the only solution... but its not. and its not worth ur tears... ur longing... ur heart.
thats basically my take on that
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Post: #590922 , Mon 26 Dec 11, 5:34PM |
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