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Topic: Long-Distance Relationships (Your Experiences)
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This thread is for sharing your expereinces of long-distance relationships.
See Long-Distance Relationships (Your Views) to express your opinions on them. |
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I just want some advice on long-distance relationships. Has a long-distance relationship ever worked for any of you? Because I know a guy who I'd like to be in a relationship with, but he's not quite local...
"Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."
~~Dr. Seuss
Need help? Need advice? Talk to me! Haha! Really, though! PM me or something! DO IT NOW! <3
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Post: #235280  , Sat 18 Apr 09, 2:50AM |
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I got out of a 9-month long relationship with a guy from Washington. I'm from Missouri.
Although distance did contribute to the breakup, it had little to do with it. It was mostly because I couldn't handle his emotional-ness.
If you like someone and you think that the distance will be okay, just go for it. A lot of people will tell you to stay away, but once you do finally meet this person, it's wonderful. 
Regardez mon visage, regardez mon visage. Est-ce que mon visage bovvered? Non, parce que je ne suis pas bovvered!
I AIN'T BOVVERED!
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Post: #235285 , Sat 18 Apr 09, 2:57AM |
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Hmmn, every relationship is going to be different and unique, but, all I can say is try to talk as often as possible. :3
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again.
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Post: #235292 , Sat 18 Apr 09, 3:11AM |
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Hmm, in the long run they have not worked out very well for me... but with my luck, i ALWAYS talk to girls that live nowhere near idaho  very sad for me.
on the other hand, i'm afraid of getting close to someone physically(if that makes sense). It's stress-free for me(for the most part)... having someone here would stress me out like nothing else could haha.
There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot.
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Post: #235294 , Sat 18 Apr 09, 3:13AM |
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:: codyco
:: QA10 Community God | |
If I am being totally honest they have never worked for me at all. I am not a very touchy feely person, but i think it was the fact that i couldnt go to him if I needed him . . . or something.
Perhaps it just did not fit my personality, or perhaps it doesnt work for anyone. I think its bad news bears but that, ultimately, has to be your decision. If you really like him, and think you could make it work, then go for it
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Post: #235295 , Sat 18 Apr 09, 3:16AM |
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I smiled when I got to this forum name.
I am currently texting my girlfriend of almost one year (waiting for May 3rd!). She moved to Florida in June.. We've been in the long distance relationship for all but one month of our relationship, and it's been great. If she hadn't moved, we definately wouldn't have talked as much. She's moving back in 64 days, and we've made it. It's really rewarding.
If it doesn't work, you tried, right? Give it a chance.
She just might get you lost, and she just might leave you torn.
But she just might save your soul if she gets you any closer.
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Post: #235396 , Sat 18 Apr 09, 7:43PM |
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:: codyco
:: QA10 Community God | |
Im reconsidering my stance on LDR's. If you really like someone you can make it work. Period.
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Post: #261123 , Thu 16 Jul 09, 10:30PM |
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I know some of them do work, I have friends who are living proof that long distance relationships work. I havent tried it yet, id really have to like that person, and have the up most faith/trust in them
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Post: #261127 , Thu 16 Jul 09, 10:42PM |
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So far so good, my long distance relationship is working out amazingly! We talk all the time, via text and phone calls and MSN and Skype and things, seeing each other on web cams and sending each other letters in the post... I think, if you make sure you keep in contact a lot, it makes up for the times when you can't be with them.
Another thing is that, although it is difficult, especially when you have problems and you just wanna hug it out and you know holding them would make it all disappear but you just can't... Dispite this, if you just keep talking, I think you can over come any distance.
One of the greatest things about the distance though, is that you learn each other's thoughts and feelings and you have a chance to learn all about the person you wanna be with, before the real physical parts come into play... In my experience, this has been the best thing as in previous relationships we lacked the great communication skills that are needed...
In all, I just think although it's difficult, if you're both dedicated, then it really can be great =) x
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Post: #347212 , Thu 25 Feb 10, 2:19PM |
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I have been in them before, up to 6 months is my current record. I am currently in one now.
They require different relationship skills than dating someone in person. You have to be able to keep a conversation going, cause thats all you have.
But there are also advantages, because you get to just know a person for who they are without any awkward sexual situations.
Well unless your big on cam i mean lol
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Post: #347558 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 12:08AM |
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:: Rivan
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
well my experience is so long as you're no exceptionally clingy and don't rely on physical contact as a deciding factor in a releationship it seems to work. unfortunatly I'm too clingy for that to work:/
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Edit: Rivan, Fri 26 Feb 10, 12:34AM
Post: #347571 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 12:25AM |
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I've been in one for almost six months now
It takes A LOT of work.
Some days its REALLY hard and painful because all you want to do is be with your partner, not text, call, or webcam them.
However, if both people work hard and remain truthful, faithful, and committed it works (atleast in my case it has).
"You don't have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body."
- C.S. Lewis
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Post: #347576 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 12:30AM |
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Agreed =)
Though, actually, I'm pretty clingy myself. In the past I've always needed a lot of physical contact for me to feel secure in a relationship. But now, I'm learning I don't have to be with her 24/7 to know that I love her and she's faithful and what not. I know these things simply due to our dedication to one another and our constant interaction... It may not be preferable, but in the long run, I know it's definitely going to be worth it =) x
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Post: #348085 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 2:14PM |
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:: Kale
:: QA4 A spot of tea please, Alfred! | |
Not to discourage them, but a fair few school friends of mine have had non-working long distance relationships, I think it all depends on where the person lives, and where you live, and if you can easily access their town or vice versa.
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Post: #348096 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 2:56PM |
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They can be hard and not even worth it sometimes.
It takes alot of work from each person.
But sometimes they can totally be worth it.
My longest was 9 months.
And we broke up because we ended up going to different Colleges and couldnt handle the distance anymore.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."
- Jimi Hendrix
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Post: #348216 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 8:25PM |
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Long distance sucks.
Amie and I have been together for 3 months now I believe and not being able to see eachother much isn't fun. I like to have a lot of physical contact with my lover, not just phone calls saying I love you. Doesn't work out in any way.
I was in Minnesota when Amie and I started dating, now I'm in Michigan. Still 2 hours away but at least it's closer. And hopefully at the end of March I'll be moving to where she is. Then things will be perfect. =)
Please know I'll never run away without you in my arms.
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Post: #348238 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 8:44PM |
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It helps, in my opinion anyway, if the distance is temporary. If you know that it's only for a eight more months and you'll be together again in the spring (or whatever the case may be), it's easier to hold onto that ray of hope and stay strong.
You have to figure out what's going to work for your individual situation. The separation is hard. My girlfriend and I consider ourselves to be in a committed, monogynous relationship, but we do allow for a degree of openness for when we're apart. Our policy is mostly theoretical, but it is acted upon on occasion. Usually by me. I never do anything without permission, and there are things I am absolutely not allowed to do, but I am open and honest about anybody else in my life, and so we do not consider it cheating. In fact, sometimes I think it's the permission that keeps me from cheating. We've figured out what it is we need to do to make this relationship work, and we're doing it. We've been six months apart now, but we talk constantly and visit whenever we can, and are doing pretty well if I say so myself.
It takes a lot of work and patience from both sides, but a long-distance relationship certainly can work. Just make sure it isn't long-distance forever.
I miss cuddling to sleep beside her every night...
Luckily for us both:
4 sleeps until she comes to visit for a week;
2 months until I'm home for the summer;
6 months until she joins me here at school!
"Any excuse to use a heart is a good one. ♥" - My friend Mike is a lovely boy.
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Post: #348292 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 9:24PM |
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i'm currently in a semi-long distance relationship, my boyfriend and i live about an hour apart and only see each other one day a week; it WORKS; we wish all the time that we could see each other more, but we are constantly emailing each other and talking on the phone. long distance relationships can be great, if you're willing to work at it.
I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along
--"My Immortal" Evanescence
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Post: #348304 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 9:45PM |
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:: kitty36
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round | |
I had a relationship like that once. If your gooding to do that. I hope you have a strong heart. The kind of relationship is really hard on your heart b/c you can see that person everyday, hold them, and kiss them everyday. But in the end its up to you two if you want do have a long distance relationship.
:P
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Post: #348311 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 9:49PM |
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A lot of people who aren't even in "long distance" relationships don't see one another every day. My friend Jen lives 20 minutes from her boyfriend, and they only see each other on weekends, with limited exceptions (dances, randomly being in the area, etc).
I was in a long distance relationship for 2.5 months where I had known the girl for 13 years (I was the one who moved away). We saw each other 1-3 times a month. We talked on the phone every single night, wrote each other letters, and wrote notes in class to be given when we saw each other in person next. The long distance factor of it worked smoothly, but the fact that we were never in real love and were both not ready for a relationship made it fail. We are now still good friends and both are in committed relationships for over 8 months.
However, I was also in a relationship where I didn't know the girl in real-life. We spoke on the phone, sent videos, sent pictures, sent letters, instant messaged, and emailed one another. I never loved her--whether that's because we couldn't see each other or because I never would have, I cannot say for sure. What mostly turned me off her, though, was she was the bisexual to date a girl and a guy, and she wanted to come down for a week (and have sex during that week).
I realized, about long distance, that you have to have a lot of commitment, a lot of LOVE, and a bit of hope. As others have said, if the distance is not permanent, or if you see each other in person and plan to ONE DAY move in together, it works very well.
For me, I do love the ability to see the girl I love at least 5 times a week. That being said, seeing Macey 5 times a week does NOT mean my relationship is intrinsically stronger or better in any way than someone's across-continents relationship, and such. Macey and I have to work hard to keep things together.
Plus, there is something about being with someone all the time, and struggling through the same things (school work, family, mutual friends, etc) that is also hard, whereas with someone far away, you can console them and they can console you, because many of your problems are unrelated to each other.
Get what I mean?
You're stubborn, hard headed, sheltered, impatient, angry, and altogether you irritate and frustrate me more than anyone else on the planet. I love you.
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Post: #348322 , Fri 26 Feb 10, 10:16PM |
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