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Topic: Anyone here consider themselves 'ugly'?
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:: sioux
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
What problem does being widely considered unattractive pose for a gay guy/girl in today's society? I know that a huge emphasis is placed on aesthetics in the gay community, particularly among males (way to stereotype, huh?).
To be perfectly honest, I'm not a very attractive guy. I'm physically average or below average based on my own opinion, and the indirect validation of others. Of course I don't let my insecurities be known to anyone else, but I do doubt my ability to attract a boyfriend at times. I hear so much fairydust bullshit about the right person someday coming along, but what if there is no right person? We could all be waiting around an eternity, for a soul mate who does not exist.
No one has shown any remote sign of interest in me for quite some time by now and frankly, it's depressing. I'm not a woe is me type of person, but society really disappoints me no end. We're all shallow to a certain degree, myself included, but I really wish it didn't have to be this way.
Senses dissolve into soliloquies; flooding ascent in synchronicity.
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Post: #213233  , Fri 6 Feb 09, 2:02PM |
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Honestly, you're going to meet and attract more people with a good personality than good looks (unless you're like really freakishly scarred and physically disformed). I know plenty of attractive guys who can't find dates because they have no social confidence, and conversely I know plenty of average-to-unattractive guys that have boyfriends and find dates because they're much more sociable.
The only place I think you might run into problems if you're not really good looking at all is if you're simply trying to hook up for a one-night stand. And even then you can usually find someone.
The mere impulse of appetite is slavery, while obedience to the law we prescribe to ourselves is liberty. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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Edit: Cloaked, Fri 6 Feb 09, 2:10PM
Post: #213235 , Fri 6 Feb 09, 2:09PM |
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:: Michiko
:: QA7 Taking responsibility | |
I don't consider myself attractive at all...
From the desk of Michiko.
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Post: #213243 , Fri 6 Feb 09, 3:55PM |
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I don't think I am attractive, either.
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Post: #213349 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 1:51AM |
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Ya know, everyone of us ALL have something we dislike about ourselves that make us feel "ugly". They always say beauty is in the eye of the beholder....but sometimes it's best to do things for yourself to make you feel more confident.
Instead of saying what's ugly about you, focus more about improving what is BEST about yourself. Don't say ya don't have one other then a "personality" each person has a attractive physical asset more then most. Whether it's a smile, butt, teeth, eyes, hair, legs, etc....improve on that appeal.
As for me my weight issues are more mental as I am thin now physically. But what more so makes me feel "ugly" is my psoriasis. That skin disorder makes millions of other people feel the way I feel especially when your a perfectionist.
Ya know what, I am realizing not everyone is perfect we all have physical flaws. Some people have nice hot bodies....but need a paper bag for their face. Sometimes it's vice versa, no one is perfect we all don't look physically perfect attraction wise.
Celebrities get special procedures and surgeries to look the way they do. Not to mention all the digital retouching that is done in magazines. Therefore let's all concentrate on our assets then where we fall short.
"Anger is a letter short of Danger"
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Post: #213354 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:08AM |
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:: codyco
:: QA Staff (Moderator) | |
I think that everyone feels ugly at some point in their lives. It can be a result of a poor self image or from people telling you youre ugly day after day. I think the most important thing when being attractive is confidence.
A few years ago I had major self-confidence issues and I am pretty sure everyone thought I was extremely unattractive. While the self confidence issues are nowhere near abolished I am a much more confident person.
I do not think that I am at all physically attractive but I have had many girls say that they were disappointed when they found out I was gay because they thought I was cute. It is all a matter of preception and confidence.
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Post: #213356 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:15AM |
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haha I agree I think everyone has those moments. I know I do but then again I have moments when I think I look good,although people tend to say I am cute before they give any other compliment kinda upsets me I take cute or adorable like I am too young or something makes me feel less attractive haha
its not hard to make it through a day if you can make it through the moment
----"No man's land? Do women live there?"----
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Post: #213358 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:20AM |
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Face it Allison you rather them say you look "sexy" lol. I know the feeling about being called "cute"....your just like "really...just cute?". Lol. 
"Anger is a letter short of Danger"
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Post: #213359 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:21AM |
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YESSSS exactly hahaha
I get the "you look like spencer"
and a few min later "Ashley is sooo hot tho"
its not hard to make it through a day if you can make it through the moment
----"No man's land? Do women live there?"----
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Post: #213362 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:25AM |
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I find myself ugly at times. That's why I try to do the whole mascara thing since my supposed best feature is my eyes. So I build on what I have. I feel unattractive until I catch the occasional cutie at the mall looking at me, but I have no bf so I feel ugly.
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Post: #213363 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:27AM |
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i'd rather have someone say i'm 'cute', i think.
i don't know how i think about my appearance anymore.
Logic defies me fairly often, but there are times i cut myself a break.
so, i don't know.
i always think i'm starting to grow out of my disordered poor self appreciation, but i'm not really sure that i am.
i don't think it's just our community.
Straight people have to deal with this just as much.
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Post: #213366 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:30AM |
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I believe a few people have told me that I am pretty, or have nice eyes...
...but they weren't saying it because they were romantically interested in me. 
I tend to be harsh on myself, so maybe my perceptions are just screwed up, but I often don't feel pretty. I've had problems with acne for years, for one thing. I finally insisted on stopping the pills I was prescribed after two years. I don't break out as badly as I used to, but I still get red blotchy zits on my face and I have an abundance of old scars.
Having to look at myself in the mirror when I'm in the midst of an acne attack is GREAT fun.  I'm nineteen: I should be outgrowing it by now. I want to be pretty.
OK, end rant. Sorry.
Hearts don't follow the rules of logic.
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Post: #213373 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:46AM |
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I feel ugly all the time. I'm just too plain to attract anyone it seems like. Brown hair, brown eyes, doughy body. Not exactly a dreamboat :/
"Be who you are and say what you feel because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss
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Post: #213375 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:53AM |
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:: Alexx
:: QA8 High Householder | |
i use to feel ugly but now not so much. I still feel that way sometimes. I just excepted that i can be cute but never hot. Thats me so i live with it.
We all die. The goal is not to live forever. The goal is to create something that will.
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Post: #213376 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 2:56AM |
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:: codyco
:: QA Staff (Moderator) | |
Well it makes me sad when I hear you people say that people do not find you attractive I dont why i guess im just an emotional person
Bee Tee Dubs -- Im pretty sure that everyone that has posted in here is beautiful and dont let anyone tell you different = )
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Edit: codyco, Sat 7 Feb 09, 3:41AM
Post: #213382 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 3:08AM |
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I used to think I was pretty, but since I NEVER get hit on [apart from mockingly], I assumed I wasn't.
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Post: #213408 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 3:43AM |
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I have to admit I can't say I consider myself "ugly". I did in the past, though, but I got over it... Lol.
If I dared to let you see the truth behind the person that you imagine me to be, would your arms be open, or would you walk away? Would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay? -- Stained Glass Masquerade
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Post: #213409 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 3:44AM |
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I guess I don't think I'm ugly (like a few people said, I used to) but I don't think I'm attractive at all.
I don't know really, occasionally I feel good about myself but I just have poor self-esteem in general, lol. I'm tryyying to be more confident and such though. It doesn't come easy to me.
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Edit: rabidmonkeys, Sat 7 Feb 09, 4:07AM
Post: #213424 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 4:07AM |
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hm, I don't think I'm attractive, but I don't think I'm necessarily ugly? Just "cute", but in a wow-I-look-like-a-12-year-old kind of way, even though I'm 16. lol
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Post: #213426 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 4:12AM |
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i used to be so fucking ugly im not gonna sugar coat it
then i straightened my hair and put on some eyeliner and WAH-LA!!!
not ugly
u just gotta figure out what looks "good" on u. noone is truly "ugly"
and beauty is bull shit.
everyone likes something different about someone that others may not see
#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥#♥
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Post: #213446 , Sat 7 Feb 09, 5:00AM |
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