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Mainpage » Gay teen blogs » Blog Entry: I'm out to my mum - Why aren't I happy?

Blog Entry: I'm out to my mum - Why aren't I happy?

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I'm out to my mum - Why aren't I happy? Okay, so today I came out to my mum, and I just feel depressed...

Yesterday, my dad left for Birmingham for a few days, so this morning I was thinking it might be a good time to tell my mum, I'd only have to deal with one parent at a time. At school, I was thinking throughout the morning whether I should send my mum a text saying im gay, and when it came to break, I did. I felt fine after that, I wasn't at all nervous, but I knew I would be later, I was also walking home that day so I wouldn't have to be stuck in a car with my mum.

Part way through double science, one of the Teaching Assistants came in and asked if I was there, I was so I went outside with him. He then said that my mum had phoned the school about a text and was worried and then the TA was asking whether anyone had taken my phone or something to which I said no. After that, I was a nervous wreck for the rest of the day.

At luch, I turned on my phone again, and my mum had sent me a text saying to call her as soon as I got the message, I just got more nervous.

When it finally got to the end of the day, I started walking home, and I turned on my phone so I could phone her, but I had a text saying she'd rearranged her appointments so she could pick me up as usual, which was bad...

She picked me up, and we had a very awkward conversation in which she did not once use the word 'gay' or anything similar, and she's convinced that I can't be sure at this age, and she said that she still loved me. She also asked if I'd been talking to any strange people on the internet, and then she said that she knew I looked at some 'strange sites' (which I assume meant porn) and asked if that was what made me think this. She's also going to tell my dad when he gets back from Birmingham late tonight or tomorrow.

So I'm finally out to my mum, and will be out to my dad soon, so why do I feel so depressed?
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posted by pckid on Monday 10 September 2007 at 3:58PM

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Sailor Venus! Send Sailor Venus! a private message
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dude that blows chunks.
i'd say give her time, and hopefully ur dad'll take it better than ur mom?(i dont know what ur dad is like but???maybe?)
much lvoe, aasha
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we.are.all.in.this.together. PERIOD.
  Post: #99528 Link to this post, Mon 10 Sep 07, 10:28PM
Robinson Send Robinson a private message
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You feel depressed because she doesnt accept the fact that your gay 100%. "She says you cant be sure at this age." If she would have said something like "Thats okay, you know Ill still love you..." then you would have most likely been less depressed. It's always better to tell someone in their face that your gay, that way you say what their reaction is.
  Post: #99557 Link to this post, Tue 11 Sep 07, 2:28AM
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i feel the same.

and it sucks.

i wish i could help at lease we are going through the same thing..
  Post: #99559 Link to this post, Tue 11 Sep 07, 2:51AM
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You feel such because of what everyone else has said. The lack of a positive reaction has caused you to feel doubt in your actions. The good thing is that she doesn't hate you. She just doesn;t understand it completely yet. You need to clarify things with her. Tell her what it is that makes you so sure. My mum did the same thing, sort of. She asked what made me sure, and said that i might not be gay when i had said that i don't like girls. But once i clarified that fact, she was fine with it. So when your dad gets back and knows (hopefully he takes it well), sit them down and tell them that tis not a phase, you aren't confused, etc, etc.

Good luck.
Keep us posted on what else happens.
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  Post: #99597 Link to this post, Tue 11 Sep 07, 12:59PM
Silence Send Silence a private message
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I'd say its because of the way your parents reacted. Trust me I understand full well how un-excepting parents can be. My mother told me when I was younger that if I ever "became gay" she would stab me to death in my sleep.

You'll be okay. Your mother is probably just shocked at the suddenness of your coming out. Give her some time. As uncomfortable as it may seem, you might try and talk to her about your feelings again. Tell her exactly how you feel if you haven't already.

Make it clear that you don't have any reason to suspect that your interest in the same sex is going to change any time soon.
I wish I was a moose...
  Post: #99667 Link to this post, Tue 11 Sep 07, 11:50PM
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After that is clarified and you hear from your dad...some of your depression will disappear...
  Post: #99669 Link to this post, Wed 12 Sep 07, 12:25AM
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Well, I just spoke to my dad, and he thinks basically the same thing, but he said gay and porn, and knows just how much I look at and feels that it could be distorting my view. The other thing with my dad is, I think he may look at it differently as when he was young he did things with guys but he grew out of it.
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  Post: #99729 Link to this post, Wed 12 Sep 07, 8:43PM
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Did you tell him that its not the porn that is creating your view but the porn that is satisfying it?
I wish I was a moose...
  Post: #99740 Link to this post, Wed 12 Sep 07, 9:20PM
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Uhh... No, I did say it wasn't distorting my view though.
Nail varnish tastes like glitter glue :D
  Post: #99747 Link to this post, Wed 12 Sep 07, 9:39PM
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OK, watching too much porn CAN give you a distorted view of what sex is and should be. However, it's not going to give you a distorted view of your own sexual orientation.
The mere impulse of appetite is slavery, while obedience to the law we prescribe to ourselves is liberty. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
  Post: #99766 Link to this post, Wed 12 Sep 07, 11:51PM
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