Blog Entry: Really Tired of Freaking Out

Really Tired of Freaking Out So, as always I'm freaking out. You'd think someone like me would get over it, all things considered, but I never really do. It's just stressful dealing with some of the people I do. Really and genuinely stressful. Thing is, though, I have to deal with them. It's not like I have the choice to just walk away at the moment. But even if I did I don't think I could. It would just be too mean in my mind...

My family is a great example of this. Since I don't know when, they've hated each others' guts, lied, cheated, stolen, abused drugs and alcohol... It gets worse the further you go from my immediate family. Murder, suicides, cutting off your own hand with a buzz saw, loads of mental break downs, convicts... Actually we also have a couple priests, but being sane, they live in Canada, away from the state bound craziness. But, anyway, since the family's kind of dissolved outwardly lately, I've been keeping together the immediate part to me. I've been looking after these six people: me, gran, grandpa, my uncle, mum, and great gran. And, unfortunately, I'm about fed up with it. I can't really process that anymore. I hate being selfish, but I just kind of have to look after me for a minute.

Okay, that was just me spazing out again. I apologize. Sometimes I just need to put frustration out there in the cosmos. I love to plan and have everything go right, and when it goes wrong, I flip out. Every time.... It goes wrong a lot. And I'm wondering if priesthood in Canada would really be so bad...