Blog Entry: The Girl That I Let Get Away

The Girl That I Let Get Away Once, at the skating rink, a lesbian girl two years older than me that was working the register approached me and my two friends. I had short hair. I think that's what tipped her, and my clothes were rather masculine that day. She was so pretty. She had straight, brown hair, dark, large eyes, a thin, wide smile, and was taller than me. I like when they're taller than me.
Anywho, she knelt next to me and said, "Hi. I'm BLANK. How are you?"
I was flustered, of course, never have been approached by anyone before but one, and that was a boy. (Might I add that we were also dating at the time, too?) I gave the generic, "Uh... I'm fine. Everything's great. Having fun. You?"
And BLANK just looked at me, smiled, and said, "Are you...?"
And I knew what she meant. Am I a lesbian? Am I bisexual? Am I available? Am I someone who is attracted to girls? Am I attracted to her?
And I said, "Ah... no... I'm sorry. I'm just... not really..."
She smirked and said, "Well, it's pretty awesome. That's too bad. That's okay, though." She shrugged and left to go back to the register.
My friend slapped my shoulder and began to scold me. *she is straight, but open, apparently, which I didn't know at the time* "Brooke! Go get her number!"
"I don't even know her. And I'm not... bisexual."
"And? Does that matter? She's cute! Maybe something could happen."
So I decided to be a stupid expletive and let her go and get BLANK. BLANK had her phone out and we exchanged numbers. A few minutes later, I got a text. "Just checking that the number's right!"
"Of course. By the way, I'm BLANK."
"Brooke."
And I gave her a few smiles for the next five minutes until my friend and I left for the sleepover at her house.
BLANK called me.
We spoke for fifteen minutes. She worked at a pizza place, too. She was in high school. "Ah, geez, you must think I'm so creepy! [at being older]"
We laughed at that. I liked her. Kind of a lot.

I didn't call or text her for at least two weeks. (I flirted with a girl while I was in a relationship. I felt like I had cheated, even though the relationship was shit anyways) When I did, it was an accident and I hung up after a few rings. My sister came into the room.
BLANK called back.
I decided to, instead of playing it cool, fumble with the phone and hang up and breathe fast. My sister interrogated me until I told her everything. I liked girls kind of and that was a girl I had met and exchanged numbers with.
Two times after this, I saw BLANK at Target. One time, she saw me. She had gotten a haircut. She was so pretty.

That was a year ago. I've found her on Facebook, but I didn't add her. I don't think I will. She's something in my past. I learned from my mistake. If I start something, I will end it.
I just wish I would've given her a try.
Stupid expletive me.