Blog Entry: Oh no! I'm thinking again!

Oh no! I'm thinking again! As I said in my introduction, I fell deeply in love with my best friend. She was over recently and we shared a night where we basically just cuddled, kissed and watched movies. That was the only night I will probably ever have anything romantic happen with her. Why? A few years ago, we were both caught in a fight that another girl and I were in. It went on for months. It began as a snippy comment and then quickly escalated into a screaming match. I later found out that this girl was trying to date my best friend and wanted me out of the picture. This girl that I fallen for so hard is now in a happy relationship with a boy. I want her to be mine but I can't have her. I never really thought I was attracted to girls until this year. When I was in 7th grade, I was a considered a bit weird and I was oblivious to anything going on with my sexuality. All I knew was I had this best friend and she was adorable and I would do anything for her. This evolved into a love that I wouldn't trade for anything. Now, I am stuck. I want to wait for her but I know that I have to get on with my life also. I don't really know what to do. It feels nice to get all this out of my head.