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Mainpage » Gay teen blogs » Blog Entry: "Choosing" to be Gay

Blog Entry: "Choosing" to be Gay

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"Choosing" to be Gay Am I the only one that believes you do not "choose" to be LGBT?
A few months ago someone came to me saying, sinxe he was not having good luck with girls, he chose to be gay. I flipped out on him. Telling him that was a sick joke, that you can not choose to be gay and it just kind of happens. Turns out he really was just kidding. Which pissed me off even more.
Its one thing to think you might be gay, and then realize you were wrong. Hell that even happened to me once. But to say you are when you arent, that sends me over the edge.

I did not choose to like girls. I did not choose to fall in love with a girl. But I also would not have it any other way. I love my girlfriend so much. But it just bothers me when someone says they "chose" to be that way. The way I see it, if you chose it, you arent gay.
Am i the only one that believes this??
views: 752 responses: 170
posted by CrowsButterfly on Friday 6 July 2012 at 12:49AM

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:: randomdancer84
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round
QA Member's Avatar
I don't think anyone can choose their orientation. I didn't choose to be lesbian. I didn't choose to actually end up identifying as bisexual. I didn't choose to love men and women equally. I didn't choose my feelings, they chose me. People annoy me as well when they say, "Oh, being LGBT is a choice." No, um, it's not.

Even now, I sometimes wish I was just straight. No strings messing with my life and screwing with my mind.

But no, sexual orientation isn't a choice. Trans-identity isn't a choice. Being ignorant and an ass about everything, is, however, a choice.
  Post: #663340 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 3:11AM
:: Haldo
:: QA6 Livin' it up!
I most certainly did not choose to be a lesbian.
  Post: #663343 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 3:18AM
:: razrsharp
:: QA8 High Householder
Joey is happy :) [Avatar]
Whisper, I couldn't have said it any better. And that last line, OH! Damn I love it :3

I didn't choose pan. With it has come a lot of negativity, hatred from those around me just because "Oh, he's a guy and he likes guys, make fun of him." Why would I choose to have to hide from my parents, from some of my friends?
"You're like the Narnia lion of pickle land." ~ Saied <3
  Post: #663345 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 3:25AM
:: TheBouquineuse
:: QA8 High Householder
QA Member's Avatar
What if someone was bi and decided to only be with one gender? Is that choosing your sexuality? I'm curious of your viewpoint on this
Love makes the world go round <3

If you keep bugging me I'll go all second grader on you! "I know you are but what am I?"
  Edit: TheBouquineuse, Fri 6 Jul 12, 3:36AM
Post: #663348 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 3:33AM
:: LenChan
:: QA3 Getting cosy
QA Member's Avatar
I don't believe people choose to be gay or w/e it may be because why would anyone want to make themselves an outcast in normal society.... no one wants to ostracize themselves again this is just my opinion.
P.L.U.R.R.
Peace
Love
Unity
Respect
Responsibility
  Post: #663354 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 3:57AM
:: ZombieBloomers
:: QA8 High Householder
QA Member's Avatar
I don't think I chose to be gay, but I don't know what happened.

I used to like guys, I even loved a guy once. But after a while, I started noticing women differently. Like today, I saw this REALLY cute girl at Pet Smart! She was way older than me though -_- I used to look at guys as hot or cute, and I still do kinda. But it's like, I don't notice men that way anymore. Just women.
Homophobia is gay

LOKI'D!!!!!!
  Post: #663368 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 4:28AM
:: atomuskus
:: QA7 Taking responsibility
Techie Shaun is paradoxical, indefinitely [Avatar]
If you are bi but chose to only go for one gender, then you are still bisexual but a practicing hetero/homosexual. You didn't magically get rid of a whole section of you, you just chose to stifle it.
  Post: #663370 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 4:33AM
:: TheBouquineuse
:: QA8 High Householder
QA Member's Avatar
Thank you very much for the feedback on my question Shaun ^_^
Love makes the world go round <3

If you keep bugging me I'll go all second grader on you! "I know you are but what am I?"
  Post: #663378 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 4:40AM
:: Shy_Blossomer
:: QA10 Community Goddess
Sam is sick of being hurt all the time :/ [Avatar]
I don't think people choose to be their orientation. I didn't choose to be bi, I just am. I prefer girls, but that doesn't mean I'm choosing my orientation, it just means I have a preference of one gender.
Sam and Dana <333- 11/01/13<333
"Spiteful words can hurt your feelings, but silence can break your heart."-Unknown
"The meaning of life is 'bucket'"-Richard the undead warlock(LFG)
"Without Music, Life Would Be A Mistake"- Marty(Here Comes The Boom)
"A pen to a writer is as a sky bison is to an air bender"- me
  Post: #663381 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 4:41AM
:: CrowsButterfly
:: QA5 Having the neighbours round
QA Member's Avatar
Heather,
I can see where that would seem like someone is choosing their sexuality. But they are still bisexual.
They still like both genders.
If someone was bisexual and chose to stick with just one gender, my own opinion on that, and I dont mean to offend anyone by saying this, and i sincerely apologize if I do, but odds are, they are just experiementing. They want to see what its like to be with just one gender.
  Post: #663385 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 4:44AM
:: TheBouquineuse
:: QA8 High Householder
QA Member's Avatar
I actually have to disagree with you Kori (though I do appreciate the answer)

I am bisexual. But I won't be with a guy. Why? Because I simply don't want to be. Girls are easier for me to relate with. I have dreams of calling my Significant other beautiful, buying them pretty things, having them sit in my lap, ect... And so I seek mainly woman. Because honestly, I know of no men who would appreciate that.

However, on the other side of this: I am beggining to think that I'm simply not emotionally attracted to the male mind
Love makes the world go round <3

If you keep bugging me I'll go all second grader on you! "I know you are but what am I?"
  Edit: TheBouquineuse, Fri 6 Jul 12, 4:55AM
Post: #663387 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 4:51AM
:: greendaygal540
:: QA2 Settling in
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I don't believe people can ' choose ' their orientation myself, although they can certainly try to put on a front for other people. I wouldn't have chosen to be pan-, especially considering all the confusion and stress I went through when I was younger trying to figure out WHAT I am. As for the bisexual question, I agree with Shaun in the fact that they aren't actually changing their orientation.
~<3
  Post: #663425 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 5:41AM
:: AdamP
:: QA8 High Householder
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tum...g60n9o1_400.jpg
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If anyone ever says being LGBT is a choice, I always ask when they chose to be heterosexual. They never have a proper answer.
"There's a thin line between sanity and insanity. My side of the line has a purple sky and talking unicorns; by God do I love sanity.
  Post: #663574 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 8:49PM
:: Chasityme
:: QA2 Settling in
QA Member's Avatar
Choosing one’s sexuality would be like choosing one’s skin colour. It’s not something that can be changed. I believe sexuality is ingrained into us and therefore can only be conditioned.

As for bisexuals “choosing” one gender over the other I don’t believe that implicates anything other than preference. However I wouldn’t restrain myself to sticking with one gender over the other I feel like I might miss out on potentially meeting my soul mate if I limit myself in that aspect.
  Post: #663579 Link to this post, Fri 6 Jul 12, 9:22PM
:: razrsharp
:: QA8 High Householder
Joey is happy :) [Avatar]
Adam, never thought of doing that. Really awesome idea haha
"You're like the Narnia lion of pickle land." ~ Saied <3
  Post: #663635 Link to this post, Sat 7 Jul 12, 1:12AM
:: Merovingian
:: QA8 High Householder
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It isn't a matter of belief, it's a matter of fact. I didn't choose to be gay. I don't believe that I didn't, I know that I didn't. Now, I can't tell someone else that they didn't, but to label homosexuality as a "choice" and include all who identify that way is profound ignorance. People who label it as a choice only do so because they don't understand it, plain a simple. They're unwilling to understand the fact that being gay is no different from being straight other than the gender of the people you're attracted to.

Is being straight a choice? No. Neither is being gay.
Does being straight mean you're a pedophile? No. Neither, does being gay.
Are people straight for attention? No. Neither are people gay for that reason.

It's really quite simple.
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OMNIA SUNT INGRATA
  Post: #663644 Link to this post, Sat 7 Jul 12, 2:21AM
:: Autumn1492
:: QA7 Taking responsibility
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@Joy: my story is kinda similar to yours! I liked guys my whole life, then I went through a period where I didn't like anybody. Then one day, I saw one of my friends and I got butterflies O.o I was like Oh my god she's wonderful! What's funny is I embraced it right away. I wasn't ashamed or hating myself. I was a little worried but since I didn't choose that, I knew it couldn't really be wrong.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."

http://www.soulforce.org/resou...-homosexuality/
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  Post: #664861 Link to this post, Wed 11 Jul 12, 2:44AM
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