Blog Entry: Just a vent :) "I'm Fine"

Just a vent :) "I'm Fine" Last night I didn't sleep again. I'm a bit of an insomniac. Honestly, sleeping scares me just a bit, so I write in my TARDIS (a journal thingy) I just kept writing, and most of the entries are depressing and secret filled, so I never show anyone. I secretly sometimes want someone like Sam or Autumn (not anyone else) to take it from me.
Well anyway Sam always asks me "Hey, Destin, are you okay?" I just say "Fine.." usually staying to myself. I'm like that. Today I got in-rightfully mad at her. Everything that has been going on has built up after a while. I just wanted someone to notice. I don't like feeling so alone all the time. It's not a good feeling, it's most definitely one of my larger triggers of anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. (which I found myself having a LOT of lately)I wanted her to notice, but instead she left me alone without anyone, to go be with her girlfriend (she seems to leave me a lot :/) and I actually LIKE her girlfriend Autumn, just a bit. Actually, a LOT, but I keep pushing my feelings away, feelings hurt and I promised not to cut anymore (THAT'S SO HARD :'() So I was sitting alone in a bathroom.
I almost smashed a mirror because I was so anxious and sad. I'm honestly worried about myself. I wrote down an entire list of ways I could kill myself today in my TARDIS. I just can't talk to anyone.... *sigh* I guess I'm kind of just venting, which is what I need.
Well.
Love y'all
-Destin