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Blog Entry: I CAME OUT TO A CONSERVATIVE!
I CAME OUT TO A CONSERVATIVE! So, I CAME OUT TO MY GRANDPA! WHOOP!
It was funny. To me any way.
We, like always, were in a dispute about gay rights and how it is/isn't a sin.
He was all, "Gays are terrible people who end up as rapists and murderers! It's one of the worst sins! God created man for woman and woman for man. Marriage was made by God! Not humans! Gays shouldn't be able to get married. There should be no separation of church and state! I hate our constitution for allowing freedom of religion! Blah Blah BLAH!"
I, obviously, protested the point. I said that there are even gay Christians who love God. That they aren't mean and evil and terrible. That there're just normal, loving people.
He said, "Name one."
OHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh! Oh! You can see where this is going!
I was all, "Really, now? You really want me to name one? Do you, now?"
He said, "Yeah. Name ONE."
I said, "Okay, I will."
I paused for a while and contemplated my decision. I was so tempted just to burst out in anger, but I decided to think about this rationally, so that I wouldn't do anything I would regret later on.
He interrupted my thought process and said, "Well, name one!"
I said to my grandmother who knew about my sexual orientation, "Grandma, should I name one for him?"
She said, "It's up to you."
"Fine! I'll name one!" I shouted and then paused for half a second, "ME!"
My grandpa gasped. He asked, "Well, you aren't having sex, are you?"
"No!" I jumped.
"Then how would you know?"
"It's not all about sex, ya know."
My grandma kept trying to tell him that I was just having "feelings" and I was just unsure and confused and questioning.
I argued with that by saying - basically - that I am pretty damned sure I know who I am.
He was all, "What did that psychiatrist talk to you about?"
I was like, "What?"
He said, "Oh, nevermind."
I said, "No, if you really wanna know, I was diagnosed with depression. Wanna know why? 'Cause I wanted to kill myself!"
"Then you definitely would have gone to hell!"
"Ugh!" I rolled my eyes.
"I'm just gonna have to pray for you. A LOT."
"I'm fine!" I disagreed.
"Well, you aren't having sex, are you?"
"I'm only 14! Do you really think I'm gonna be intimate at 14! I mean, I've had a girlfriend! I've kissed her! But, no, I have never had sex!"
Here ends that story!
Other than that, I DID get diagnosed with depression and am taking meds for it.
I think it's making me worse. Every day now, I get to the point where a seftey pin tip is always at my skin, and then I pull away because I remember how disappointed my role model would be with me.
Okay, that's it! I'm done ranting now. You can get back to doing what you do!
views: 325 responses: 10
posted by Whitney on Monday 14 May 2012 at 1:54AM
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