Blog Entry: not a good week

not a good week Last Saturday i went to a benefit for an old friend of mine. He's had pretty aggressive cancer since the 7th grade, and last week it spread to his legs and he was put in a wheelchair full time. A whole bunch of us showed up to see him. I don't know why, but I still expected him to be like his old self. He was one of those guys you couldn't not like. He was happy so much of the time. I don't think I have a memory of him where he was angry or sad, not even when he first found out he had cancer. I figured he's just be a little smaller after so much time in the hospital.

I was so shocked when I saw them wheel him out of the building. He was covered in blankets, and his face looked so sad. His eyes made it look like he didn't know what was going on. Me and a bunch of his other friends from middle school had to make a line to see him because an EMT told us not to crowd him. When I got towards the front I saw a kid I knew bend down and shake his hand. He couldn't even remember who the boy was at first. They used to be best friends. Finally, I got up there and gave him a hug (I couldn't just do a handshake, it felt so impersonal). I asked him how he was and he whispered "I love you guys so much".

When I got home, I started to realize how stupid all my problems were in comparison. So I came out to my best friend about being transgender. I was amazed at how easy it was, once I'd done it. She totally accepted it, and I actually had the stupidity enough to be put in a good mood. I was optimistic for Mike's future (that's boy with cancer's name) and for my own. Then, yesterday, a friend of mine got a call during math class. When it ended, he told me Mike was dead.

I don't know what to say now. I mean, 7 days ago I hugged him, and now he's probably in a morgue. I just felt like i needed to share.