Blog Entry: If only you knew, mom

If only you knew, mom So a while ago, my counsilor gave me a test for depression and I got a positive. Wonderful, I kind of expected it honestly because I'm constantly down on myself and I seriously am all the time wanting to die. It's scary to go into my brain. Later I tell my mother about my depression and nothing else and you know what she says? She says "It's just harmones. God Kalie, your so overdramitic. Your probably acting to get attention, I mean you're fine! You just want to be so different. You'd really do anything for attention wouldn't you?" Well I'm glad I'm so good at hiding myself and that you don't see my pain but honestly I'm the exact opposite. Today I told you a trigger "You're always down on me... constantly!"I meant it. It takes a lot to talk to you, I wish you'd respect me... So you say, " I call you a bitch (freak, stupid, nerd...ect.) because I love you!" Uhm... sorry? So you verbally abuse me because... you love me? I belive you love me. A little, but calling me names? That's not love. If only you knew.
My best friends however, they get it. They are the only people I can actually trust, even if it's just a tiny bit (Love you guys! <3) Autumn thinks I should just leave. Sammy too. Would it be better? i think it would. It'd be an escape from a trigger on my list.
So. There.
I love you too mom.