Blog Entry: decisions. and what am i gonna be

decisions. and what am i gonna be i wanna scream and cry and just throw things...
i feel like a terrible person with the decision im gonna be making. I love cheer so much but i think im gonna quit. i cant deal with all the fake people and constant backstabbin. I also cant deal with the fact that im constantly getting told to lose weight.
i wanna jus slip back into my ed so bad, but i know its not good for me. ive been gainin weight cuz ive been eating 3 meals a day.
i hate myself more now then i did when i wasnt eating and that scares me,
i hate the fact that my coach is gonna hate me now cuz i wanna quit. i put my whole heart into my squad but i jus cant handle it anymore...
idk wat im gonna be once i quit.
i am cheerleading, its the only thing im good at. so idk wat im gonna be now